Revolution || Lashton AU - boyxboy

e i g h t

[A/N I was listening to Fall Out Boy in the car the other day and I decided that Death Valley is totally Lashton's theme song in this story omfg.]

{UNEDITED}

It'd been three weeks.

Three weeks since I'd talked to Hemmings. Three weeks since I'd talked to anyone, really. Three weeks since I actually applied myself in school. Three weeks since I'd gotten out of bed for anything important. Three weeks since I'd been sane. Three weeks since I so much as looked at anyone - even Hemmings.

I'd never felt my sanity crumble as quickly as I did three weeks ago.

I'd gone to most of my important classes, but I hadn't really been extraordinary - not that that was anything new, really. I never was. I'd drowned myself in drugs and alcohol and cigarettes. I haven't even driven anywhere.

I don't feel the same.

This isn't nihilism, or whatever you want to call it. This isn't apathy. This isn't impassiveness. This isn't anything I wanted.
Instead, it felt like my whole chest caved in. Like my lungs and my heart and everything just imploded. And it made me feel sick. Because I hadn't feel something so horrible in years.

And I couldn't help but feel like it had something to do with Hemmings, because everything had been perfectly fine until he showed up and just the thought of it being his fault made my blood boil and my skin sizzle. Because I knew, I fucking knew I shouldn't have gotten involved with him, but I fucking did.

And ever since it all happened, Hemmings has been constantly staring at me with his eyebrows raised and furrowed, chewing on his stupid lip ring and tapping his fingers or some other completely obnoxious nervous tick and quite frankly, it looked like worry had vomited all over his face.

So as of now, I was sitting in an English lecture, and I'd been completely zoned out the entire time, not paying attention for even a second. And every once in a while I'd make eye contact with the blonde moron chewing on the end of his pen who'd been staring at me the whole lecture. I wanted to shoot him a daring look, try and scare him away so he'd leave me alone, but I couldn't manage it. He'd seen me in a vulnerable stage, and that scared the shit out of me.

When Professor Winters dismissed the class, I was already running down the stairs and out of the room before Hemmings had even finished packing his things.

I was nearly running across campus at this point, not bothering to drag my eyes behind me just so I could avoid having to see Hemmings anymore because it was only making things worse and I didn't know why.

But even without looking behind me, I knew he was scurrying after me like a god damn animal because he'd done this pretty much every day since my episode.

So I did what I always did and rushed myself to my dorm so I could just take off my clothes and lay in bed for a few hours before my next class, and maybe drink a little.

So after I'd gone through the whole building and found myself to the hallway my dorm was in, I'd also discovered Hemmings still behind me. He never followed me this far. Eventually he gave up, and I went about my business.

I trudged into my dorm, completely and irrevocably tired of life, and slammed the door.

Except, Hemmings' foot had jammed itself between the door and the doorway and he'd made his way into my dorm and closed the door.

I just sighed. "Please, just leave me alone."

"How?" He snapped, throwing his hands up.

"What do you mean 'how'? Walk out of my dorm and stop following me all the time and giving me those stupid puppy eyes and acting like your god damn world is crumbling just because mine is!" I croaked, not pausing to take a breath or anything, gasping slightly for air as I finished.