Revolution || Lashton AU - boyxboy

t h i r t y - e i g h t

I updated again and don't even think of yelling at me for starting so many sentences with conjunctions because A) MY ENGLISH TEACHER DOES THAT ENOUGH AND B) I DO NOT CARE AT ALL

I'm not going to write 'unedited' anymore I'm just going to let you guys assume it's not because it never is

Luke

I woke up that morning to an empty bed, and it took a few moments to remember the events of last night.

I vaguely remembered Ashton and I getting wasted and watching porn and doing the thing that porn and an assload of alcohol will inevitably lead to.

But then the later events started pouring back into the interior of my skull, and I began to feel a bit frantic that I couldn't feel Ashton next to me anymore.

God knows what losing a parent can do to you.

So I shot straight up out of the nice hotel bed and onto my feet, before taking in the parameter of the room and finding it empty of the sad, curly-haired boy.

And his shoes were no longer by the door and his coat was missing, and his clothes were no longer strewn all over the floor, and his phone and cigarettes and lighter and wallet and everything of the sort were missing from their spot on the table in the corner of the room by the door.

So I tugged on what clothes I could find of mine on the floor and shoved my feet into my shoes, before grabbing a keycard and running out the door into the hallway.

I had no idea what time it was, but the hotel was nearly pin-drop silent and there wasn't a maid to be seen on the entire floor.

I scurried down the hallway towards the stairwell seeing as I didn't have time to wait for the elevator, and began running down the stairs, skipping a few at a time.

I got to the bottom of the stairs and practically through myself out the door, breaking into the side parking lot where we had parked. And in my panic I'd almost missed that beaten up Trans Am, but there it was, sitting in its spot from last night.

I swear I didn't see the keys on the table.

So I used the keycard to get back in the sidedoor and hurried down the hallway of the first floor into the lobby, taking in the busy surroundings but not seeing Ashton anywhere.

So when I realized I had yet to try and call Ashton, I realized I left my phone in the room and decided to turn around and head back to the room and get it.

I nearly ran back to the room with tears stinging in my eyes because God, ever since he told me about what he almost did when he was eighteen I can barely bring myself to let him go to the bathroom alone. I spend 98% of my time worrying about him, and I know that's not healthy, but so be it, right? I'd rather worry all the time and keep him alive than care too little and let him die.

I practically slammed the door open before stopping in my tracks, because there was that little shit I just chased around the hotel, sitting at the table in his pajamas with his phone in hand and a mouth full of waffles, staring up at me all innocently like a deer caught in headlights.

"You little shit." I breathed, grinning slightly.

"What?" He mumbled out his full mouth. "I was just about to text you."

And I just laughed kind of effortlessly before nearly running over to him and tearing him from his seat and hugging him so tight I almost worried I might actually crush him, and he just let out a little grunt laughed a little before wrapping his arms back around me befoer I picked him up and spun him around a few times.

"You can't do that to me." I breathed. "You cannot do that to me."

He giggled only slightly, but I swear to you, my heart nearly burst. "Do what?"

"You cannot wake me up at ungodly hours of the morning yelling and crying and freaking the fuck out and clinging to me for dear life and not making an ounce of sense, only to disappear in the morning when I wake up. You cannot scare me like that." I rambled, nearly out of breath as I continued to cling to him with tears threatening to spill.

He finally managed to pull himself from my grip on him, landing on his feet on the ground with the world's most goddamn adorable grin on his face, before his smile fell at the sight of my tears, presumably.

"Hey, hey, please don't cry." He said, reaching his hands up and wiping away my stupid tears with his thumbs. "I didn't mean to scare you."

I laughed a bit dryly at how ridiculous I was being, before lifting my own hands up and wiping my face dry.

"Fuck, I'm such a baby." I chuckled. "I just worry about you, is all."

To which he smiled a very small smile and looked to his feet, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Well, I just went to get us breakfast down in the lobby, kind of as an apology for last night. Er, this morning, I guess." He said, lifting his hands rather cautiously, before resting them on my hips and pulling me closer to him, though he still hadn't met my gaze. "I, uh, I talked to Nate this morning. And I told him what happened and what I did, and I told him I was worried that I might've hurt you or something, and he told me that if I thought I did, then apologizing couldn't hurt. And he told me that I was lucky to have you here with me, to which I inevitably agreed, and that the last thing I should be trying to do is push you away. And while that's not exactly my strongsuit, I figured Nate knows best, seeing as he's a whole lot more sane than me. So, yeah. I'm sorry for saying that shit to you and everything else."

And I couldn't help but just smile for the umpteenth time since I've seen him this morning, and my insides felt like velvet and I could barely even think with him in the room, and my heart was pumping so quickly I was anyone within a ten mile radius could hear it, and everything just felt so warm.

And so I didn't feel very okay, really. I felt more than that. I felt like I was walking on clouds. But really, I think that there are all these words I could use to describe how I was feeling but the absolute everything that I was feeling lacked adjectives, because I didn't think there was a single word in the entire English language that could describe what I felt like on the inside right now, standing in front of the one person I felt radiated absolute sunshine when my storm cloud got too dark.

And he was so beautiful.

So I looked at him and I grabbed his face in both my hands, squishing his face slightly in this ridiculously adorable way, before lifting his face and practically forcing him to meet my eyes.

And the worlds felt bittersweet where they pooled in my stomach, but when I said them, they didn't taste all metallic and rusty like I thought they would, and he didn't pull away from me and make a run for it like I thought he would.

He stayed put in his spot with the universe in his eyes when I told him, "I love you so much more than I understand."

 Basically just you guys wait until Christmas whether you celebrate or not because it's gonna be a big day on my account here as far as my stories go basically okay ily guys bye

AND I HAVE AN EYE DOCTORS APPOINTMENT TOMORROW AND IM GETTING GLASSES FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE FIRST GRADE PRAY FOR ME