I Love You To LA and Back (A Connor Franta Fan Fiction)

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

    *1 year later*

    Sometimes Connor still mentions the name Kara Cartner in his videos. When he left, his life got better while mine went down hill.  My college grades decreased, and my social life disappeared.  Hannah tried to get me to interact with other people, but I wouldn't talk to anyone but my family and Hannah herself.  The only clothes I'd ever wear are sweatpants and t-shirts, and every once and a while Connor's old sweat shirt. It still smells just like him. I try not to think about it but it always comes back every Frantastic Monday.  I always wonder if he thinks about me as much as I think about him. My thoughts were disturbed by Hannah yelling. "Kara! wake up we're gonna be late for class!" Of course another day another Calc class!

I pulled myself out of bed and put on my glasses. I hadn't worn my contacts since Connor left. They reminded me of him, for he was the one who picked up my first prescription and helped me figure out how to put them in. I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I don't know who I saw looking back at me, but it wasn't me. I saw a girl who didn't care anymore. A girl who didn't want to be here anymore. An empty shell in pink rimmed glasses, a boys sweatshirt and a pair of leopard print sweatpants. Maybe it was just the new me.  Or maybe it was just the old me in glasses? I took off my glasses and looked closer. Nope. The same. I pulled back my long blonde hair into a ponytail and brushed my teeth. I didn't put on makeup unless it was a special occasion, which I'm pretty sure, Calculus is not.  "I'm ready!" I yell throughout our dorm room. But she already left. Another day of walking to class alone.

I grabbed my old backpack and slipped on my blue converse. Walking the streets of Minnesota alone reminded me of Connor. If it was raining and mud was on the sidewalk, he would pick me up and carry me to class. But now I stepped in everything. Gum, mud, and puddles. My phone starts ringing in my pocket as I hear the familiar tune of "Anna Sun". I answer to the voice of Hannah.

"Um, Hello?" I ask.

"Where are you? Class just started and I shouted out here for you during roll call. You owe me big time Cartner."

"Thanks Hannah. I do owe you big time. Should I not come or-"

"No then Mr. Mel will find out you're not here. Just go sit on the bench outside the hall and I'll meet you after class."

"Okay Hannah I'll see you then, bye."

"Bye Kara."

Great. I missed class. Again. Who knows what my Calc teacher thought of me. He probably thought I was one of those "always hungover college students who didn't care" but I did care just didn't always have the heart to walk to that hall where so many memories were made. For 45 minutes I played flappy bird on my phone. It's the only app that didn't bring back memories. Finally Hannah walked out of the large doors of the college hall. "Hey sweetheart. You okay?" Hannah had always been like an older sister to me. She was there when I needed her, unlike someone else I "thought" I knew. *cough Connor cough*.

"Yeah Nah I'm fine." I lied I hadn't been okay since a year ago.

"Good, cause I have a HUGE surprise for you! You wanna know what it is?" I nodded yes. "Okay so I got us plane tickets to go to, wait for it, CALIFORNIA!" my face went blank. No. No. NO! I ran for my dorm room. I heard Hannah calling for me but I didn't look back. I just kept running until I got to the bathroom. I made sure no one was inside then locked the door. I ran into a stall and jumped  up on the tank of the toilet and cried. I felt like I was going to throw up. California  is where Connor lives. I reached into the pocket of his hoodie to grab a small pocket knife.  Hannah banged on the door but it didn't stop me. I reached up under my shirt and skimmed the knife over the skin on my side. Blood slipped down my sides and stained my shirt. With each drip that hit the floor I felt better. Hannah burst through the door of the stall.

"Kara! How many times do I have to tell you this is not the answer?! You knew this would happen someday and it's better sooner than later. If you don't want to go you don't have to." I didn't answer. Instead I grabbed my phone out of my other pocket and updated my facebook status.

Kara  Cartner is going to California.