I Love You To LA and Back (A Connor Franta Fan Fiction)

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

    I woke up to yelling downstairs. “She  was in a coma for three weeks Ricky! When she woke up she was there for one week! But somehow, within that one week, you two hook up! What the hell Ricky!” It was Connor. Oh no.

“It wasn’t like that Connor! Yeah, I like your girlfriend! But I didn’t hook up with her!  We kissed TWICE! But we knew how devastated you would be, so we decided not to be together! I know you love Kara more than I ever will but I still love her Conn-” Everything went silent. I pushed the sheets off my bed and hobbled down the stairs. There at the bottom of the stairs was Connor, standing over Ricky, with a blood covered knife in hand. He didn’t even have the chance to scream.  I put my hand over my mouth and did what any girl who just found her boyfriend killing his best friend. I screamed. And not just any regular scream, no I screamed bloody murder. As it escaped, Connor looked up from Ricky’s lifeless body. He walked to me ever so slowly as I backed up on the stairs.

“You, you lied to me.” He held the knife over his head.

“No Connor, baby, you don’t want to do this.”

“Oh trust me, I do.” He brought the knife down to my chest and hovered it over my heart. then he dropped it. It sliced over my skin. Connor fell to the floor next to me. “Kara! Come on baby wake up! It’s okay stop shaking! It’s just a dream baby wake up!”  It’s just a dream?

I sat up covered in sweat and tears breathing heavily. I pushed of my covers and ran to the bathroom. Connor followed close behind me telling me to stop and calm down but I did neither of those things. When I got into the bathroom I stormed through the door, opened up one of my drawers, and pulled out a razor. Then I jumped into the shower and closed my curtain. Ever so slowly, I pushed the razor blade onto my wrist.  This was what I deserved. I would be the one that caused Connor to break. I didn’t deserve him. It had been too long since I had cut. I couldn’t handle it. I yelped in pain as Connor opened the curtain. Blood puddled around my ankles as I slid down the side of the shower in tears. Connor picked me up and brought me into his room. He sat me on the bed and walked out. He came back a little bit later with a bandage to wrap around my wrist. My body racked with sobs, as he held me in his arms. I was a mess.

“Shhh, Kara. It’s okay. Just tell me what the dream was about.” I couldn’t tell him the truth. Then he’d know. But I had to try.

“I-I woke u-up and you and R-riicky and bloo-od I just can’t!”

“It’s okay go back to sleep I got you.  I just need you to promise not to use a razor blade. I need you to come to me if you need help. Okay?” I nodded still shaking. “I love you no matter what Kara, please be okay again.”

“I’m fine Connor. I’ll always be fine if I have you.” He made me feel so safe. It was obvious that I loved Connor more than Ricky, but I can’t imagine living without either of them. Connor would hold me when I was scared, and kiss me when I needed to feel loved. But Ricky, I could tell him anything and never have to worry about him telling anyone. Making decisions is hard but it’s something that had to be done. And my decision, was Connor.