I'm Here to Fix You

Never Have I Ever

Chapter 34: Never Have I Ever 

Darcy's P.O.V.

"Of course it will, why wouldn't it?" he gently whispers into my ear, his hand still smoothing down my hair and it still makes me go crazy. The slightest touch from him until now still sends sparks into my entire system even at 3 a.m. the morning.

Thankfully, I got the urge to pull away from him because I know for the fact that I've already made my decision and I don't plan on breaking it. I'm done sorting my shit. I don't want to go through all of that all over again. Some of my hair covered my eyes so he couldn't see them. Thank god it did because the tears already start brimming around the corners of my eyes as the words came out of my mouth.

"Leave," I mutter under my breath at first and through the strands of my hair I could see the sudden perplexed expression on his already tired face. His eyebrows were scrunched up in confusion as he placed his warm palm on my cold cheek and brushed the hair aside for him to see me. It looks like I can't escape this now. I haven't noticed the dark circles taking its place underneath his scary bloodshot eyes and his usual smooth jawline looks as if he hadn't shaved for days. He was looking at me and he doesn't seem to comprehend what I had just told him because he wasn't moving so I said it again.

"I said leave, Zayn," I grit through my teeth, trying hard not to break down and cry in front of him, "You shouldn't be here."

"What's gotten into you, Darcy?" his quavering voice instantly shattered my heart the moment he opened his mouth to speak, "A moment ago you were so happy to see me and now--"

"It was a mistake. You're a mistake, Zayn! You, from all the people know that Harry and I are together and that I'm in love with him," I was starting to breathe heavily but the tears gladly haven't fallen yet to my face.

"You're in love with him?" he mocked, making a face at me even if he was already so tired. His eyes weren't that scary anymore, you could see that he was so fed up from keeping up with me. He doesn't seem stung from what I've told him but instead his eyes flared with annoyance and at the same time anger. "What a lie Darcy because you and I both know that the kiss on the beach meant way more than just a stupid dare."

He was getting so close now, closing the little gap we had between us until that our faces were once again centimeters apart from each other so I quickly backed away. I took a few steps away from him but Zayn kept moving forward. Before I knew it, he has my back pressed against the front door of Harry's own house. Oh great. I hope Gemma doesn't open the door and catch us like this.

"Leave, Zayn! I don't want to see you!" I shove his left shoulder before he could come any closer.

"Don't lie to yourself Darcy," his voice was raspy as he got hold of my waist, making me shiver, "You love me but you're too afraid to admit it. I know you do."

At that moment, I could just give in and tell him how I thought I loved him too. I could just put all my walls down for him to break in and for me to be his. I could stop pushing him away and instead be safe in his arms. But I didn't.

I didn't because my love for Harry is way much more than this.

"Get away from me!" I forcefully push him away, as far as I can, sending him to almost fall from the steps of the porch and into the cold, hard pavement. He did a double take and I knew I couldn't take back anything I just said.

"Darcy, you don't know how much I love--"

"I said leave, Zayn!" I shout at the top of my lungs, pointing my finger away and the other hand to shoo him away even if both gestures break my heart so bad because I didn't want it to end like this. But it has to.