So the trip to Jamiaca, was a whole lot. Between being accompianed by unwanted people to then trying to force fun out of myself was just too much. And then to get back home to this. If you're wondering, let me get you up to date.
I came home and just found out that my grandpa is in the hospital. That means we have to go visit them. Once again, I am on the move. All of us will be heading down to them. I am not excited to go because the news aren't looking promising. My grandpa has a heart condition and it looks as if his heart will give out. FOR GOOD... Not the best news I want to get after coming from the trip I had.
I get the kids ready and pack for 2 weeks. I am not sure how long I will be there. But I pack enough to be safe. Getting all the kids ready along with Sean... Is a process in itself. We head on the road with my mom, sisters and Frankie and Shavonne. They are coming to help with the kids while we take care of family things. I am thankful for them seeing a need and just filling in willingly.
We arrive and my grandma wants us to come to the hospital right away. We leave the kids with Frankie and Shavonne. We get to the hospital and the doctors meet us to discuss the conditions of his health. They tell us that this heart condition is viciously fighting his body. Every treatment they have tried has failed. They warn us that we may be losing him within the night. But they will continue to try all that they can to help him. We speak with another doctor who goes in more depth of what is going on. Doctor McKessie tell us that his heart is enlarged and the blood flow to the heart isn't available. And the meds they gave him to open the passageways, his body is rejecting. So once it gets too much to bear... His heart will stop and he will be gone. Shocking him will not be good for him because that could send him into cardiac arrest which afterwards would lead to the same thing where his heart stops. So either way I will be saying goodbye to my grandpa. I am not mentally prepared for any of this.
We go in to see my grandpa. There are machines everywhere with fluids; trying to send fluids and oxygen to him. But he looks like he is ready to give up. He is still breathing but very slowly. We just can't help but cry because the strong fighter in the family has no fight left in him. We begin to pray then after sing. Once the song, Love Has Come, is over... He breathes one last time and then his machine begins to beep. My mom goes to catch my grandma before she collapses to her knees while holding his hands. I stare at my grandpa.. And just stare and stare in shock... Sean grabs me in for a hug and for me to cry on his shoulder. He knows the sympathy and hurt, pain, etc I am feeling at this moment. I grab my sisters' hands and hold them tight because we know we need each other. The head space we are in isn't good for any of us. We wait in the room until Alan gets here. Alan was behind because he had to get off work. Just as we call the nurse in to tell him he is gone, Alan walks off the elevator in the hospital onto the floor we are on. We all just look at him and he knows what that means. Alan falls to his knees and just cries. The nurses console him. IT IS THE END!! Grandpa is really gone and so suddenly.
We have to get ourselves together because we still have to go home and explain this to our kids and also to Frankie and Shavonne. This will be hard but we will get through.
We get in my grandma's house. And Frankie and Shavonne along with kids are in the family room. We say, they tried so hard to help him and save him but he's gone. There was nothing they could do.. He was ready to go and he went. The twins begin to scream and cry once they realize that Gramps wasn't coming home today or ever again. Mickaelah is silent. She says nothing... Nothing at all. Frankie and Shavonne both grab hold to myself and my sisters and make sure we are good. At this point, Lyric breaks down and Symphony sheds a couple of tears but we all keep it together for my grandma. She has cried enough and we don't want her to overexert herself. My mom heads toward the room. I follow her. She gets in the room and falls to her knees just sobbing. All she can say is My Daddy Is Goneeeeee, with tears of hurt amd other emotions following. This family will never be the same AGAINNNN!!!
