i'm tired of this world, but what do i know?

p l e a s e

please
messages from her -sabruna claudio

of all of the things life has taken from me
i only wish for one thing
if you can take my mind
if you can take my soul

take everything
instead of
one piece

i can't live without
emptiness

but im tired of being empty
im tired of being missing
take me too
every single thing that i am

this isn't pain
this isn't suffering
it's nothing

no matter how far i go
no matter what i see
its always the same
at the end of the day

empty

there's nothing
that can fix this
no one
no thing

how?
I
don't know
why

there's too many people
and i can't satisfy them
i can't be what they want me to be

i rather lock myself in my room
and fill the walls with smoke
until i lay still
until life takes
you and me both

im exhausted
but still i breathe
im tired of hearing the same songs
im tired of pretending
i can't go far
i can't run from the enemy

the enemy is me
i hate everything that i am
and everything that i see

and there is comfort in such a feeling
when im with those who love me

but when im alone
im still only half of what i could be

and ill never be that girl again
because i gave it up
for nothing

i want to be her
but i can only dream
everything ive wanted
has already come to me

and it has never felt
satisfying

so please
of all the things life may bring
take me
in return
for the decent things
that have struck down on me

yeah maybe im weak
but that
doesn't define me

because i was so many other things

i was happy
i was funny
i was caring
i was unique

and that's all you have to remember about me
because all of the terrible things ive become
are buried underneath

ill bring them to you first hand
with another scar
and another romance

i can't love
but what have a i got left to lose

i am already broken
there is no part of me left to bruise

pain and happiness
are equal

i don't know why this world keeps giving me
curses in place of girls
i could quit
but
i want something to truly shatter my thinking
maybe that will do the trick
because no matter how hard i think
i never do it

im just tired
and nobody has anything to do with it

i make dumb decisions
but im going to stop
im going to stop all of it

and then see which parts of me return
i hate every part of me
and no one will ever understand it

i don't need sympathy
or someone to stand over me
i don't need someone to watch
when i leave
I don't need someone to tell me lies
just so i stay
so i don't go
maybe this is what's best for me

and that's what they can't see
no matter what they say or do
has zero effect on me

selfish

but it's for the benefit of me
and for the first time
that's all i want to be

so let me be
take away every single thing
but don't leave me
lingering

this time
take all of me.