THE PARKS POST

Handsome Piece of Human

Z's p.o.v

Simon had just fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful while sleeping. It didn't seem like this beautiful boy sleeping in my arms won't be here after some time. The thought choked me up and the tears that I had been holding in for a while flowed down my cheeks. I couldn't imagine not having him around, not getting the random kisses and hugs and the god awful jokes. The thought made me nauseous and I tried to bury it away.

I was watching the movie playing on the laptop while stroking my hand through Si's hair. It was becoming thin. It was like everything was becoming a reminder of the looming dead end. Before I could get buried under my thoughts again, there was a knock on the door.

"Simon?" Mrs. T poked her head in. I made the shushing gesture by pressing my index finger to my lips. I carefully shifted Simon's head on the pillow and slipped out of the room without making any noise. Once outside I saw Mrs. T leaning on the wall opposite the room's door.

"He just fell asleep like 1o minutes ago"

"It's okay. I just wanted to check if you boys wanted something to eat"

"I could take some food, please. I'm starving"

"Come along. I'll whip you some pancakes?"

"Sounds good to me"

We went down to the kitchen and I sat on the counter while she started making the batter.

"I'm glad you both met. And thank you for being there with him and for him-"

"Sorry to interrupt but you really don't have to thank me. I like being around him."

"-I know you do. But I also know handling this must be a lot. And you are too young for all of this. Just know that we are here if you need someone to talk to you know..."

"Thank you, ma'am" I just smiled and the conversation ended at that. She handed me my pancakes and took some for herself. We then sat and ate while talking about random things. After finishing our food, we shifted to the living room and put on some movie on the TV. At some point, Simon woke up and came down only to snuggle on my lap and sleep again. Mr. Torrance came in at around 7 and all of us had dinner before settling back in the previous positions with the addition of Mr. and Mrs. T snuggled up on the other couch. Looking around me at all of them, I felt at ease and life seemed good. I wasn't ready to give this up any time soon. I wrapped my arms around Simon tightly hoping that this would not let him leave me and go ever. He turned around and snuggled further into me. I couldn't help but smile and with that, I slowly dozed off as well.

_____

The next few days passed by in a series of movies, snuggles, and food. We weren't ready to leave each other for longer than a few hours. I was just glad that my parents haven't called in this time period. Simon doesn't need to know about that any time soon. I know he will worry and he doesn't deserve any more worries in his life. He has been excited and nervous about Sam coming home. He tries to hide the nerves but being with him constantly, I've picked up on his nervous habits. Like when he cannot focus on the movie or show playing and keeps fidgeting with his phone or hand. Or when he starts eating more than normal, because he needs to do something to get rid of the anxiety and nervousness. He will deny it if I call him out but he knows that I know. Hence, he doesn't protest when I interlock our hands together when he starts getting fidgety and rub soothing circles on the back of his hand. Or when he feels the need to overeat, I ask him if he wants to go to the park with me or play something.

It helps most times, but today being the day before Sam arrives, he's just given up hiding the fact that he's nervous. He's been pacing around the room for the past 10 minutes talking to himself, most likely preparing what and how he's going to tell Sam about his situation.

"Simon"

"Huh?"

"Come sit"

"No. I need to..."

I get up and loop my arm around his waist and tugging him towards the bed. He didn't budge.

"Oh come on!"

I tried tugging harder, but even with his disease he was a football player and had more strength than I ever could. But I wasn't accepting defeat this soon. I tugged and pushed but this handsome piece of human didn't budge an inch.

"Zach"

"I-" huff, "-will-" panting, "-do this"

Before I knew it he was laughing. Not the normal laughing, the tears rolling down and stomach hurting laughing. He just took me and pulled me into a hug. I huffed once but I was happy that at least he was laughing. Even if it was at my expense.

We went and sat on the bed, with his arms still around me and my arms hanging loosely around his waist. I'll admit that we had become more touchy-feely in the past week and were becoming increasingly comfortable around and with each other. He rested his head on my shoulder and heaved a deep sigh.

"I'm scared"

"It'll be alright. She'll understand"

"I don't want to hurt her"

"Simon, look at me" I tipped his head upwards so that I could see his face, "you're the one hurting and I'm sure she'll want to be there for you just like the rest of us or more. Don't take that away from her, okay?"

"I guess so" he mumbled and averted his eyes downwards.

"We love you Si. Remember that. We want to be here"

"You love me?"

"Wh-what?"

"You said you all love me. Do you love me?"

"I- Do I- I- Uh- I know- Not- What- " I know I was the deepest shade of red right now. Did I love him? I had never thought of that. I know I couldn't imagine my life without him. Is that love?

"Calm down! You don't have to say anything right now." He chuckled

What did I do? I just buried my head in his hair and refused to look up.

"Hey, lookey here" he brought my face to face him as I did before, and the conviction and determination that I saw in his eyes, I felt it in my bones.

"I'm not expecting you to say it back, but I need you to know that-" he took a deep breath, "- I love you."

I think I stopped breathing. I couldn't look away from his eyes. I couldn't move. He loved me. He actually loved me.

"I love you so much. I have since the day we first met. I knew you were it. I'm sorry I'm putting this on you knowing my situation and knowing that I can't be there for you. But I'm too selfish. I can't not tell you or have you for myself. I want to spend every moment of my life, how many ever those are, with you. I'll understand if you do not feel the same way but I had to tell-"

"I LOVE YOU"

I don't know why I blurted it out like that. But I knew that it was true. I knew I loved him. There was no doubt about it. I don't think I've ever not loved him.

"I love you. And you're not selfish. I want to be with you forever. I want to hug you and never let you go. I want to take away every pain from your life and give you all the happiness there is. I've loved you always and I don't think I can stop ever."

We were crying at this point. Still being in each other's arms, he brought me closer and gave me the tightest hug ever before pulling away to kiss me. This kiss was different than any other kiss we've shared in the past. This kiss was filled with passion, love, longing, anticipation, trust, and everything possible. This kiss was a hope for a future that was bleak for us. But I promised myself that I'd do everything in my power to make Simon's time worth living. I would do anything for this boy who stole my heart and I have no intentions of taking it back.

__________

Hey there! I know, I know. It's almost been a year now since I posted. But its summer now! so hopefully there will be more posts and who knows I might even finish the story!

Also how cute was that *squealing and fangirling* #corrance are the best!

Do comment and like and let me know how you liked the chapter.

Toodles

~k