NO ANGEL ★彡 S. MENDES

𝐎𝐍𝐄.

eleanor anne kavinsky

twenty thousand people fell silent when she first sang. each in awe of the nineteen year old doll standing before them with that angelic voice that made you wonder if the world was really a bad place. if angels like her existed, then nothing could truly be bad? the smooth and sultry tones of her voice enchanted her audience as she sang of a life that she was never hers. diamonds sparkling from her chest and her hair shining brighter than the stars in the sky, she was perfect.

her voice was worse than a snake charmer, enough to hypnotise you into doing her bidding. all while she smiles that sparkly white smile and looked at the crowds like she loved them.

she did. she really did love them. she herself was confused at times as to how people loved her and her music so much. how people could cry over her voice and long over someone that they knew they would never have. but then again, didn't she deserve this? to be loved? for it was she that had sacrificed everything she ever had for the chance to do something like this?

a thousand thoughts ran through eleanor's mind, almost making her forget the words. but she did what she always did when this happened.

"come on! sing with me!" she said into her microphone, ceasing the silence.

and the audience obeyed her, singing along to their favourite song. each and every one of their unique voices coming together to create a choir, no an army that showed their love and devotion to eleanor.

eleanor smiled at them, then beginning the chorus as the band behind her poured their passion into their notes. in a way, she felt sorry for her 'fans.' they loved someone who wasn't really there. but it was okay. for now.

†

"eleanor! great show tonight!" her manager, chris said, running up to her.

"thank you, chris," eleanor smiled, slightly annoyed at the cakey make-up on her face and the weight of her cartier earrings.

"everyone loved it! i got literal chills when you started!" chris excitedly exclaimed.

it was safe to say that christopher peter steinberg was eleanor's biggest fan. the two had met when eleanor was named the 'next big thing' and chris was simply an intern at her record label. at the time, chris was basically a die hard fan of eleanor and was extremely excited when eleanor asked him to be the first on her team and ever since then, the two had been closer than two peas in a pod and there wasn't a thing that they didn't know about each other.

"oh and the guy from billboard was here, do you remember? did i tell you about him this morning? savannah told me that when she saw him, his jaw dropped - literally! also, he wants to meet you in your dressing room in fifteen minutes; can you do that?" chris rambled, passing eleanor a water bottle which she downed almost immediately

"yeah, i'm going to change first and can you tell leo to send me some of the pictures from tonight for instagram?" eleanor replied, tossing her empty bottle in the bin.

"yep, should i post them for you or do you want to do it yourself?" chris asked as he opened the door to eleanor's dressing room and they entered, eleanor immediately flopping on the sofa.

"can you do it? i honestly can't be asked to go on social media anymore," eleanor yawned.

"ok, but don't fall asleep on me!" chris laughed, walking out and closing the door behind him.

as soon as the door shut, eleanor reached over into her custom gucci bag and fished around for a cigarette and a lighter. lighting it quickly with her expert fingers then taking a puff, eleanor got up and slipped out of her silk dress and expertly took off her necklace and earrings and hastily put them to the side. she stared at her almost naked reflection in the mirror before her, cigarette in hand.

when people called her a goddess, she could understand why. in a strange, inhuman like way. her golden skin and her dark hair with eyes that suggested a thousand things at once. 'the voice of an angel.' that one was true when eleanor was first discovered, she was found in her local church singing amazing grace and her grandmother who sat in the front row cried all throughout and after she said that she had been graced by the presence of an angel. eleanor could only smile.

but years went on, and the angel disappeared and was replaced with a goddess. but a goddess of something much darker.

taking one last puff, eleanor threw her cigarette into a cigarette tray beside her and out the flame. hastily slipping on the famous leggings and oversized sweatshirt combo, she went over her act for when her interviewer arrived. finding a small brush on the table that was filled with her tangled hair, eleanor quickly brushed it through, trying to make herself a little more professional so that when the man from billboard arrived she was able to shout "come in!" in her million dollar voice when he knocked.

"hello! eleanor! i loved your show! can i come in?" the man asked, a huge smile adorning his face.

"of course, take a seat," eleanor said, nodding towards the sofa in front of her.

"thank you for agreeing to the interview, as you know it's for your cover story and your manager told you about when the photo shoot is, right?"

"yes, chris makes sure i stay on top of everything!"

"okay, and you don't mind if i record our conversation, right? just so i can quote you if i need to?" the man asked, taking out his phone and starting the recording so there wasn't even time to say no.

"of course not," eleanor smiled, even though she did mind.

"so, eleanor kavinsky. you look like you've got a story to tell."

"i don't. much to the surprise of others, i'm everything i say i am. i keep no big secrets, no secrets that could ruin me. i am who i am."

oh, eleanor darling, who taught you to lie like that?