NO ANGEL ★彡 S. MENDES

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍.

eleanor anne kavinsky.

when she woke up, it wasn't of the gentle sunshine that shone through her thin curtains or to the sounds of birds chirping. when she woke up, it was to the harsh music of 'bitch better have my money' by rihanna, which was also happened to be chris's ringtone (mainly because they both got drunk one night and decided that he was the baddest bitch that ever existed and because he was so insistent on the fact, eleanor hadn't the heart to change it).

eleanor groaned and reached over to reach her phone and answer the phone, "eleanor, where are you?"

"at home, i literally just woke up," eleanor muttered, getting up in her bed and rubbing her eyes.

"okay, well get ready quickly because i need you to post something about him. can you go and find him and do some shit?" chris asked, a little desperate.

"do i have to?" she whined, not wanting to really meet shawn.

the night they shared was a mistake in her eyes. the morning after she was still a little lonely and hadn't remembered what it felt like to wake up next to someone after a night of fun that didn't include anything sexual. and the song they wrote, it wasn't helping eleanor's emotional state at the time and the more she looked back on it, the more it seemed like a mistake and highly irrational. but then again, it felt good to let someone in on a piece of her past. her sad, lonely and dark past. and the way shawn had listened to her while she told stories of her and her family while her eyes prickled with tears and he had told her that it was okay to feel that way, that felt good. a better feeling than anything she had felt in the past year (not that it was hard to beat). at that moment in time, she did not want to face shawn as all she would feel is regret and pity for leading him on and embarrassed for letting her guard down and letting someone in. hopefully, he wouldn't mention it... ever again.

"yes eleanor, you have to. it's been two weeks since you two have interacted online and we need to keep the act up," chris sighed into the phone.

"he's in toronto, i'm in new york. how are we going to meet up?" eleanor asked, trying to avoid talking to him.

"actually, andrew told me that he's leaving for la in a couple hours to start on his album and shawn asked for you to help him write it. so i booked you a flight-"

"wait," eleanor interrupted, "you what?"

"i booked you a flight to la so you can help homeboy mendes write his album. want me to say it in spanish too?" chris said, sarcasm rolling off his tongue like it was his mother tongue even through the phone.

"do i have to? i don't want to see him right now," eleanor begged.

"e, you always don't want to see him," chris sighed.

"i know, but-"

"eleanor, as your manager i'm telling you to pack a bag for your flight which is in five hours," chris snapped, "in the meantime, check your emails and all that jazz. i've organised a brand deal with diesel so while you're in la you'll have a photoshoot there and in a couple weeks you're off to japan for their fashion show and then to miami for a store opening-"

"chris, can you just email me all of this? i need to get ready," eleanor said tiredly.

"ok, i'm sorry about snapping at you. the label's giving you so much and i'm picking and choosing very carefully to make sure you're okay. what i'm giving you seems like a lot but it's the very least you can do. you know a video of lauren jauregui got leaked and in it she said that she felt like she felt like slaves and the other fifth harmony girls were there and they agreed with her. i love you eleanor, and it hurts me to put you through all of this but it's not long," chris apologised.

"it's okay," she quickly dismissed him and before hanging up said, "bye."

eleanor jumped out of bed and saw an email from chris detailing th enext three months of her life, starting with a two week trip to los angeles. throwing her phone on her bed and grabbing a louis vuitton suitcase and picking out random articles of clothing and folding them to put inside her bag, she reflected on the song she wrote with shawn. it was very personal for her, to say what she was feeling to shawn and the song was a statement of her current emotional state. not being able to move on from someone, both romantically and not. at the moment, it was more of her romantic past that was haunting her.

but why would a ghost haunt someone that was already dead?

shawn peter raul mendes.

shawn stared at his current tracklist (consisting of two songs: in my blood and because i had you) racking his mind for what he was feeling and how he could turn it into art. 'i turned whatever pain i was in - mental or physical - into art," eleanor's words rung in his head as he fiddled with a pencil in his malibu studio. he glanced up at the view that overlooked the sea and the seawead littering the yellow-white sand. it was truly beautiful, it really was, but the question of 'what am i feeling?' plagued his mind.

a knocking at the door interrupted his solitary thoughts and his head quickly turned to the door where teddy got up to open it and as soon as he heard the voice of the person that greeted her with a loud, "hello! how are you?" he could feel his heart beat a little faster and a small smile appear on his face. "shawn, it's eleanor," teddy smiled at him andmoved away so she could meet scott and then shawn.

eleanor turned around and said, "hey shawn, how are you?" smiling sweetly.

"i'm good," shawn replied, smiling even brighter and walking forward to embrace her in a hug and then moving away but not before kissing her cheek.

"okay, have you guys got a piano or something because i was listening to classical piano on the way here and all i want to do is get my hands on one!" she giggled before teddy showed her a keyboard and sat down.

"were you guys working on something right now?" eleanor asked as she began playing something unfamiliar.

"no, shawn was just sitting there and staring at the view for the last hour. before that we were just finishing up the last song," scott told her.

"can i hear it-"

"wait, what were you playing on the piano just now?" shawn cut her off and eleanor gave him a look of confusion.

"i don't know, i came up with it a couple years ago when recording born to die. i never ended up using it but it's nice and always sets the mood for me when i have to write," eleanor replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"could i use that?" shawn begged and eleanor hesitated before nodding, "great, could you write the notes down for me?"

eleanor grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from closeby and drew a stave and began scribbling the notes to her riff and handed it to shawn who sat down at the piano and tried playing it out. as shawn played her riff, eleanor looked through her phone and saw a voicemail from an unknown number and decided to play it out. "hey e, it's grace. i heard that you would be at a fashion show in japan in a couple of weeks and right now i'm a couple hundred miles from japan and i was wondering if you got any plans? i was hoping we could catch up-"

eleanor quickly deleted the voicemail and looked up to see shawn, scott and teddy all staring at her. "i got an idea," shawn said, breaking the very awkward silence, "and by the way eleanor, can you thank grace for inspiring this when you see her?"

a/n – shawn mendes: the album is the perfect soundtrack for this book omg my mind