NO ANGEL ★彡 S. MENDES

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄.

eleanor anne kavinsky.

when shawn mendes kisses you on a stage facing twenty thousand people, and those twenty thousand people all believe you two be deeply in love, and said kisser has incredibly soft lips and is almost too good at what he does - what does one do?

option one: push him off and tell him that you find public displays of affection (especially in a fake relationship) very awkward and uncomfortable and that you've been in toxic relationships where the person used to kiss you in public, knowing how uncomfortable it made you, and you're having about fifty horrible flashbacks right now.

option two: let him kiss you because your career is at stake and your label will be super mad at you and damn, this boy is good at kissing.

eleanor went with the obvious (but not preferred) option two. she kissed back from a moment but then pulled away. no, she couldn't catch feelings for this boy. no matter how attractive, sweet, kind and patient he was. and if she did - well, she didn't even want to consider the consequences of that.

the cheers of the audience were deafening but to eleanor and shawn it was nothing. most of the audience was surprised that they actually kissed on stage but they were happy for the 'couple.' but eleanor's eyes were fixed on shawn's, and his on hers. it was like they were in their own little world, just the two of them. it was only the voice of the stage manager talking in their earpieces that brought them back to reality. the cold, harsh reality.

"thank the crowd so we can get the lights out - oh, and that was great guys," came their voice.

shawn let go of eleanor and spoke into his microphone, "thank you toronto! and the illuminate world tour has been wrapped up! thank you for everything, i love you guys so much!"

and the lights went out, leaving them all in the darkness and eleanor with a thousand thoughts she had no idea to handle.

shawn peter raul mendes.

when the lights went out, eleanor ran off the stage leaving him alone. he could hear the crowds burst out into conversation and laughter and sadness as they started to leave the arena but he stood still - trying to figure out what he just did. the kisses at the house in la were staged and only on the cheek and even though this one was 'staged' it didn't feel like it.

it must've been the song! and the fact that it was the last night of tour and the crowds and he was a bit emotional and eleanor looked very pretty and very kissable. yes! that must be it! it meant nothing. "shawn, get off the stage. we've got to take the earpiece," the stage manager said in his ear.

at their words shawn ran down the steps, picking up his and eleanor's guitars along with him and gave them to the guitar technician waiting at the steps. he ripped out his earpiece and handed it to another technician and gave his microphone as well. he didn't want to stay and help like he usually did. he just wanted to get out of there - he didn't know where but anywhere but there.

"shawn!" a voice he recognised as andrew's, making shawn groan. he wouldn't be able to escape so easily now.

"hey," shawn said, stopping in his tracks, "how are ya?"

"good, show was great. people loved the duet at the end and the kiss was perfect! the crowd loved it and josiah caught it so it's ready to post once he edits it," andrew smiled, pleased.

"okay, that's great. can i go now?" shawn asked quickly.

"what's the rush? anyway, we want to take some photos now that tour is finished. you know? the band, the stage crew and everyone else? it'll be nice. and while we wait for everyone to clear out, do you think we could get another photo with eleanor? something sweet. it looked like you two had a great time tonight-"

"yeah, yeah, whatever," shawn dismissed him.

"hey," andrew asked, putting a hand on shawn's shoulder, "are you okay? because-"

"andrew, i'm fine. i'll go find eleanor," shawn rushed off, not looking at andrew's face which was plagued with concern for him.

shawn rushed off to eleanor's dressing room, flitting passed people who congratulating him on the show and he would quickly stop to smile and say thank you. when shawn arrived at eleanor's dressing room, he heard yet another interesting conversation.

"marina, why did grace just leave me a voicemail saying that we should meet up soon?" he heard her shaking voice.

"i don't know, i saw a text message from her yesterday but i deleted it-"

"why didn't you tell me? how long has she been trying to contact me?"

"e, you need to calm down," came chris's low voice.

"no, i don't! when your ex-girlfriend who fucking ruined you tries to come back into your life you can't fucking stay calm!"

"baby e, don't cry-"

"marina, i'm crying. deal with it! you know what she did to me, you know what i did because of her and she tries to come back to me after three, almost four years? i, i can't" eleanor sobbed.

"eleanor, just block her number, ignore her. come on, you can move on!"

"no chris, she'll find a way to find me again," he could hear eleanor cry, "and you know what's truly fucked up? i want to go back to her. i want to see her again, and i want to kiss her and be in love with her because she made sure that when she left she left me wanting more. and i never got to tell her how much i hated her, how much i loved her, how a part of me would still drop everything and come running to her."

"eleanor, come here," marina cooed, "it's okay. it's going to be okay. i promise you."

suddenly, shawn remembered why he was there and knocked on the door.

a few seconds of silence- "come in!" chris called out.

shawn gently pushed open the door to eleanor's dressing room and saw the back of eleanor's head which was buried in marina's shoulder as she whispered sweet nothings into her ears.

"eleanor, andrew wants photos," he said meekly.

"we'll be two minutes," chris said softly.

shawn left and all he could think about was eleanor's breakdown. and grace. who was grace?

a/n - shawn, i love you, but get your fucking head out of other people's business