NO ANGEL ★彡 S. MENDES

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘.

eleanor anne kavinsky.

japan had to be one of the most beautiful places that eleanor had ever been to. she admired the beautiful culture that anyone could immerse themselves into and get lost exploring it's history and symbolism (which she ended up doing overtime she went there). she loved that she could find herself getting lost in somewhere so different and unfamiliar but always find her way back home. something, she never experienced in other parts of her life.

as soon as she arrived at her hotel in tokyo, all she wanted to do was go back outside and explore the city that never failed to take her breath away. but alas, fate had different plans for her.

while chris spoke to the receptionist about their rooms, eleanor looked around the hotel lobby. in the middle of the lobby, not too far away from where she was standing was a hug cherry blossom tree whose branches stretched around the entire room, the pink flowers looking gorgeous against the gold plated doors. "savannah," she called for her assistant, "remind me to go apartment shopping here on my evening off."

"no can do miss," savannah said, pulling up eleanor's schedule on her phone, "it says here that you've got dinner with someone called grace michaels."

eleanor's eyes immediately widened at her words and snapped her neck towards savannah, "how did you get that name? i never told you about anyone called grace michaels. in fact, i don't even have plans with a grace michaels," she exclaimed at her poor assistant who was more than a little terrified of her boss.

"eleanor dear, don't worry. i made a call and your assistant - wait, what was her name again? savannah? anyway, savannah graciously put me in your schedule. if you want, after dinner we could go apartment shopping together? seeing as we never actually got to live together," said a voice that eleanor all too well.

that voice was the voice that made eleanor believe in herself, believe that she could be something in this cold, harsh world. that was the voice that told eleanor she could make it and be successful, that her voice was so beautiful and her as a person was so breathtaking that it would almost be sinful if she wasn't successful. that was also the voice that told eleanor it loved her, truly. not because it had to, but because it had 'fallen' so hardcore her, it was impossible not to love her. that voice was eleanor's muse for her love songs... but also those of heartbreak.

that voice also happened the voice that made eleanor fall out of love with herself for a long time. that was the voice that drove her to the edge of insanity and pushed her over into a pile of problems and a million more issues she couldn't deal with. that was the voice that had drove her to have more trust issues than most people had hot dinners. that voice had torn eleanor to nothing and when it left her for good (or so she thought) she was forced to build from spare parts and a broken soul.

it was a voice that she never wanted to hear again.

eleanor felt her senses jump to life at the sound of it and slowly, carefully turn around to see satan herself.

grace michaels.

when people called eleanor beautiful or stunning or even a goddess, she had to refuse. partly because it was what grace called her and through all the times she compared herself to grace, she always seemed like the one who could never be as effortlessly gorgeous and confident and charming as she was. at some point in their relationship, grace picked up on eleanor's millions and millions of insecurities but she never did much to relieve them. but instead, she let them hang and with every day that passed it got worse and worse.

and there she was today, grace in her usual smirk that eleanor had tried to hard to copy and make her own over the years, and eleanor in her crumbling angel act.

"grace," eleanor whispered, focusing in on the woman she had loved for so long and had disappeared from her life completely but had decided to show up on today of all days.

"it's me," grace said, giving that familiar cold smile that eleanor had grown so familiar with, "cat got your tongue, e?"

eleanor almost winced at the old nickname, but nevertheless smiled. no eleanor, darling! what are you doing?

"you know me," she smiled at the floor meekly.

with the return of grace, she not only brought along the old memories of the relationship that had been left to rot, but along with her was her toxic charm that caused eleanor to fall head over heels for her and trapped her into a prison in which she had never truly escaped from.

"so is it okay if i can steal you for a little bit?" grace proposed.

steal me? you took a lot from me but i loved you anyway.

eleanor looked over her shoulder. the hotel was empty apart from eleanor, grace and her team and chris was busy using google translate to try and talk to the receptionist.

"i'll come."

and so the two walked off together as they reminisced about old times and couldn't bring themselves to talk about everything that went wrong between them. maybe if eleanor had known that shawn mendes was boarding a flight to japan to see her she would've stayed, but we can't control what we don't know. 

a/n - thank you for 1.4k! also shawn! in! a! stadium! i'm not ready omg also this chapter was ugly and boring and i don't like it.