NO ANGEL ★彡 S. MENDES

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍.

eleanor anne kavinsky.

to eleanor, new york was home. she had grown up in a rich town in upstate new york and at age sixteen she moved to the city to pursue her dreams as a singer. her parents were okay. they weren't terrible and they weren't amazing. they raised her not to do shitty things but when it came to the rest of her problems (too many) they were never really around. the love they had was standard, not very special. they let eleanor run around to all the parties she wanted to go to and didn't care about her having sex or doing drugs (just not the hard stuff!) and whenever they wanted to escape their tedious suburban new york life, eleanor didn't mind. and even when she saw them have affairs, she never said a word. it didn't hurt but she didn't want her textbook suburban life to slip out of her grasp.

when she left her parents for the last time, she was sadder than she expected to be. a small voice in the back of her head told her, "hey, they're your parents! it's okay to be sad!" and she smiled. the love between her and her parents was quite sad. they all wanted something more but they didn't really want to try.

eleanor never really thought about her parents, but when she did it was always on sad nights she spent alone in her new york loft where she stared out the window which was being beaten by the downpour of rain. when she thought about her parents, that was when she truly felt alone. when most people went through rough patches in their lives, they normally had a family to rely on for support; a bond by blood could never be beaten. but eleanor? she had no one.

even with the friends she had gained along the way, marina and chris namely, they were like family to her - but they weren't family. it was so easy for them to fight and never see each other again, but with family there was a bond that could never be broken. but when your bond with your blood breaks, what happens? eleanor wished she knew. and the things they knew about each other was enough to make someone leave them for life but here they were, all still friends - well maybe not chris, he was a little too innocent.

on one night in november, she plugged in an electric guitar and starting plucking some random melodies and softly singing random words. and then her phone rang. annoyed, she stood up to go answer it and she groaned when she saw the caller id. "shawn?" she answered, "what are you doing? it's one am."

"i know, but you're the only person i know right now in new york and i kind of don't want to be alone right now. can i come over to your apartment?" shawn asked, desperation lacing his voice.

usually, eleanor would've said no and hung up but because thoughts of her family and her loneliness plagued her mind, she said, "come over. i'll text you my address."

she then hung up and typed in her address to shawn and right before she was about to hit 'send' she hesitated. would she regret this tomorrow? probably. but she didn't want to be alone right now either. so she hit send and a moment later shawn responded, "i'll be there in five x."

eleanor put her phone down and sat down by the window and picked up her guitar again. she strummed a few chords and found a pattern that sounded good and played it over and over again while trying to come up with a separate melody in her head. it was only when the doorbell rang that her fantasy was interrupted.

eleanor put the guitar back down and went over to the door and looked through the peephole. it was shawn. taking a deep breath in, she unlocked her door and opened it to reveal the messy-haired brunette with bags under his eyes and a small backpack in his hand. "hey," he smiled, his fatigue and exhaustion showing on his face.

"hi, do you want to come in?" eleanor asked, a little surprised at his appearance, only having experienced the happy and bubbly shawn most of the world knew.

"do you want me to?" shawn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"if you came all the way here..." eleanor trailed off.