NO ANGEL ★彡 S. MENDES

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐒𝐈𝐗.

eleanor anne kavinsky.

hand in hand, eleanor and shawn walked out of her hotel into a black suv while being mobbed by paparazzi but eleanor looked down at the floor through her sunglasses that she really didn't need as she led shawn, dragging his clumsy body along with her into the car. she quickly loaded herself and shawn in and nodded at the driver to close their door and let him run to the door to drive them off. in the car, it was just the two of them, awkwardly silent, with the partition up so the driver wouldn't be able to listen to whatever the two had to say (which wasn't much in eleanor's opinion).

the car took off and eleanor locked eyes with shawn for a split second but he shied away and looked elsewhere. eleanor furrowed her eyebrows in confusion for a moment, trying to figure out the reason that shawn was being so distant these past few days. after about a minute of careful consideration and thought, she blurted out, "are you afraid of me?"

in eleanor's mind, all the evidence had seemed to add up to that. the stolen glances, the sudden shyness, the fact that he seemed to try so hard to be good at everything (like their night in the studio which shawn had never truly been able to get off of his mind)... it had to be because he was afraid of her - or maybe it was something else?

at eleanor's statement, shawn's jaw dropped and he started - laughing?

"wait, why are you laughing?" eleanor asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"you think, you think i'm afraid of you," shawn chuckled and then stopped himself and cleared his throat and put on a more serious face, "eleanor, i can assure you that i am not afraid of you."

"oh," she said awkwardly.

for the first time in eleanor's relationship with shawn, she was at a loss for words and she didn't know how to respond. shawn on the other hand, laughed lightly and said, "don't worry. there are worse things you can think of me."

"like what?" she questioned immediately and now shawn was the one stuttering and stumbling over his words.

"i, um. it's uh- you could think that i was an asshole, or super annoying," shawn quickly made up.

"yeah, but what's the worst you could think of me?" eleanor asked, tilting her head.

again, shawn had no idea of what to say next. so he muttered, "i could hate you."

eleanor laughed and added, "or worse, be in love with me."

"haha, yeah," shawn nervously chuckled, trying not to convey his true feelings towards eleanor, "anyway, i thought you should know, um, uh- i have a girlfriend now so..."

eleanor gave him a look of confusion, not really understanding why he was telling her this but slowly nodded, "um, okay? do you need me to do anything?"

"no," shawn shook his head, "i just thought you should know."

"okay," eleanor paused, "what's her name?"

"camila, camila cabello. you know her?" shawn asked, trying to make this not awkward at all.

"that girl who ditched fifth harmony?" eleanor racked her mind and the only things she really came up with was the fact that she had left fifth harmony and that she sang that song that was constantly on the radio, "yeah, i know who you're talking about. is she nice?"

"yeah," shawn said, "more than nice, to be honest. i love her."

eleanor didn't know how or why, but she felt an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach when she heard that shawn was in love with this 'camila' girl. the feeling was unfamiliar and strange and it wasn't something she particularly wanted to get used to, but she had a gut feeling that this uncanny emotion would come back to her again soon and she wasn't looking forward to it.

"oh, that's nice," she spoke rather quietly.

"anyway, in japan," shawn cleared his throat, "that girl... you were with. who was she?"

eleanor took an extra moment to process what he said and thought for a minute, "that girl... her name is grace. grace michaels."

why am i telling him this? he doesn't need to know this! come on, eleanor!

"is she your girlfriend?" shawn asked, deeply interested.

"doesn't matter," eleanor shrugged and shawn couldn't feel but feel a pang in his heart.

he thought that after all they had been through (which wasn't a lot, looking back, but felt significant) that eleanor would trust him with something like that. but obviously, he was wrong.

"okay," he said, trying to pass off his hurt.

for the rest of the car journey, the two sat in silence. eleanor with headphones in her ears, using the beat of the whitney she listened to to help her pace out her many, heavy thoughts about the future and the mess that was her current relationships and tried to figure out what on earth was going on in her life all while shawn enjoyed the heavy silence and tried concentrating on the girl that he had tried to trick himself into loving when the one he wanted would never want him.

when they arrived at their destination, shawn's studio, eleanor got out without saying a word and shawn followed her actions and when chris and andrew, who were waiting inside, saw the tension between the two chris laughed, trying to ease the tension, "who pissed in your cereal, eleanor?"

"you did," she dryly responded.

chris turned and walked away to do something else while andrew said, "we're sending off the final tracklist and info to the label. eleanor, do you want to be listed as a writer?"

eleanor glanced at shawn and quickly made up her mind and then said bluntly, "no."

a/n - what is this garbage, also someone please tell me what happens next because i have no idea