NO ANGEL ★彡 S. MENDES

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍.

eleanor anne kavinsky.

a few months had passed and eleanor had decided to completely avoid shawn unless it was absolutely necessary, but considering being boyfriend and girlfriend in the eyes of the world, it required her being around shawn more than she wanted. even when they were together, eleanor would try and keep the affection to a minimum and only ever really saying 'hi' to him before putting on the girlfriend act that required her to be a giggling mess that could never stop smiling because she was so in love.

something that eleanor had found confusing was shawn's constant attempts to socialise with her and become something a little more real while she was so obviously trying to reduce all contact outside of their jobs to a minimum. there were times where eleanor just wanted to snap at him and tell him that she didn't want to talk to him and she should quit trying so hard because to eleanor, whatever strange relationship they had meant nothing to her. but then she would always remember that there were eyes, ears and cameras everywhere. it wasn't something she was willing to risk.

other than her frustrations with shawn, eleanor felt her life was slowly getting better. her best friend was her manager and he was succeeding in eleanor gaining some control over her life - which was something she had craved for so long. her other best friend had seemed to get over her police business and they were on better terms than ever and eleanor was finally reunited with the person she was head over heels in love with.

after three years, grace seemed to have changed for the better: giving eleanor her undivided attention, treating her right and most importantly, giving her that feeling of love and safety she hadn't had since her grandmother's death. everything seemed to be going well for eleanor, and just the very thought of herself being happy was enough to send eleanor into tears.

it had been two weeks after she had finished her world tour when she got a call from chris asking her to start thinking about the next album. eleanor only laughed, "they expect me to write something sad! but for the first time in my life, i'm not! what am i going to do?"

"write that you're happy. they love you so much they won't care if it's not sad. in fact, they'll be happy that you're happy. and your own happiness will inspire others to be better. so my advice? just go for it," she could hear him smile through the phone and he added, "also imagine your happy music? man, that'll be amazing. and could you do a taylor swift and write a song about me? not taylor swift-fucking-up-your-own-reputation-while-owning-it because i think that's a little early in your career for that."

"don't worry, chris," she chuckled and then hung up.

a smile adorned her face as she picked up a guitar, proof that shawn and his electric guitar obsession had rubbed off on her, and picked at a few strings and sang quietly to herself, "ooh baby, ooh baby, i'm in love."

the rest of that night consisted of a smile on eleanor's face as she banged out beats on her knees and fiddled with guitar strings and strummed until her fingers bled. but the end result was another masterpiece that was worth her effort and the best part was that for the first time in her life, she wrote a song based on her happiness rather than her pain. and to eleanor that was everything.

instead of immediately sending it off to chris for his opinion, she decided to keep it all to herself. this was her little piece of heaven and she wanted to keep it to herself... for the moment anyway. eleanor's mind flitted to her own heaven - grace michaels.

a smile was quickly brought to eleanor's face as she thought of the woman she was so in love with. she craved her love and validation more than anything; almost to the point that it could be considered toxic. but eleanor was happy, and that was what mattered right?

as eleanor listened to her heaven again, an idea popped into her head (she needed to show this to grace!) and she grabbed her phone from the table beside her and called grace. the phone rang three times and a voice said, "this person is currently unavailable-"

eleanor quietly groaned but felt no irritance, she was probably busy. grace had a life outside eleanor (even if eleanor wasn't too sure as to what it was) and she couldn't be expected to be there for eleanor all the time. they weren't even official yet! the nerves on her mind were reminiscent of a schoolgirl worrying of her crush, but eleanor convinced herself that it wasn't that - but it was something deeper (and she wasn't wrong).

an hour later, while eleanor was sipping a mug of hot chamomile tea, her phone started ringing again and she almost spilled her tea in excitement, thinking that it would be the girl that she was dreaming of. instead, a frown grew onto her face as she read the name of the caller.

"shawn," she said bluntly, answering the phone.

"hi, um, uh. i know that this is weird and shit considering i think you've been avoiding me - whatever," he nervously broke down over the phone, "you know in my blood? that song that i was fucking terrified about? yeah, that drops tomorrow - in case you didn't know, but you porbably did because um, uh, anyway. i'm super stressed and everyone around me is just talking to me about the song and i don't wanna think about it. could you just talk to me? about something? i don't care about what but you have a really nice voice-"

"mendes, sometimes you just need to shut up," eleanor sighed, "just go somewhere away from them and listen to some music. classical works for me. i can't talk right now. i'm waiting for a call from someone," and then hung up.

she set her phone to the side and as she did, she couldn't help but feel a little pang of guilt by leaving shawn when he needed her. but she didn't care for him, or did she?

for the entirety of the next day, eleanor sat and stared at her phone, waiting for a girl who wouldn't call back. and not once did eleanor doubt that she wouldn't call back. all, while a shawn mendes sat on the floor of a dirty floor listening to a rough demo eleanor, had recorded in their time together, just trying to focus on the voice he loved so much.

a/n - im back wow. also that last paragraph made no sense ??? hope you liked and vote and comment if you enjoyed this <3