Somebody To Call Mine (Completed)

KABANATA XLIX

KABANATA XLIX: Can he save me?

"Momma, do you love me?"  a small voice chirped in my head. His voice is very soothing, like it's a part of my system. I looked around trying to discover where the voice is coming from.

Puno ng kadiliman ang paligid pero patuloy ang pagdinig ko sa munting boses ng isang batang lalaki. "Momma, please say you love me? Coz I love you mommy so much much." He continued.

I tried my best to open my eyes and search for him. Gusto kong sabihin sakanya na mahal ko siya. I wanted him to feel the warmth of my love even I'm not sure who he is.

Unti-unting nagkaroon ng larawan ang paligid. Isang burol ang kinaroonan namin at tanging mga bulaklak at paru-paro lang ang naroon. "Peak a boo!" A small boy of about 3 feet tall peeked at me and gave his brightest smile. He giggled. "I scared you!" his smile urged my lips to curl up.

Lumuhod ako sa harap niya. I leveled my eyes with his. He has these dark brown eyes. 'Mana sa ama' I told myself. He surely has the Montemayor's eyes.

"You're beautiful, momma." He caressed my cheeks and kissed it lightly. Nakaramdam ako ng kakaibang tuwa sa ginawa niya. Lumundag ang puso ko na para bang sinasabi na kinikilig siya. If this is the fulfillment being a mother could give, I'm more than willing to be a mother over and over again.

Sinubukan kong ibuka ang bibig ko pero tanging hangin lang ang lumabas. I wanted to say something.

"...." It's futile

"I love you, Mommy. I really do...." And the smile on his lips slowly fades away. I reached for his cheeks and cupped it. 'Baby I love you too' pero hanggang sa utak ko lang yun nakarating.

"I tried... Papa Jesus knows I tried, Mommy." I started crying. This can't be. Hindi pwede to. Is this his way of saying goodbye?

Naramdaman ko ang maliit niyang mga kamay sa pisngi ko. "Sorry, momma." And that's when my dream turned into a nightmare. Pure darkness enveloped my system. Ito na ang kinatatakutan kong araw.

"Sorry, I can't hold on." He still whispered.

Hindi ko mahanap ang tamang salita para sabihin sakanya. "B-Baby..." is everything that I could utter. My son smiled amidst his tears. "I loved the strawberries." He giggled but I find no reason to giggle back. I'm losing him. I'm barely holding on to him.

"I also love our chit-chats." Napahikbi ako. Totoo pala. It's true that he can hear me. Akala ko ay isang malaking kabaliwan ang pagkausap sakanya. I thought talking to him is a waste of time. Umaasa akong hindi niya gagawin ang kinatatakutan ko. He's all that I got. I'll die without him.

Pero yung kaunting pag-asa na yun ay nawala ng tumayo siya. "N-No, baby. Stay with Mommy. Please stay with me." ngarag na boses na pakiusap ko.     

"H-hindi ko na po kaya." nakayukong sabi niya. My heart just experienced its biggest blow. I was out of breath with those 5 words. My son is telling me his goodbye. Na hindi na niya kaya. Na oras na para bitawan ko siya.