sad || jackbam

26

jackson knew how to talk to bambam. even things not meant to be upsetting, bambam cried at. and jackson regretted it the moment he said something that always made bambam upset.

he hadn't been thinking when he said it. they were hanging out with their friends and they were messing around and making jokes. and jackson said, "okay let's stop. i think that's enough." and the moment it left his mouth and he saw bambam's expression change, he wanted to punch himself in the face.

bambam hated when people said that, especially jackson. he felt so annoying and he took whatever they were talking about too far. he never wanted jackson to think he was annoying but he thought he did when jackson said that.

his lips started to quiver and his eyes began to swell up with water. yugyeom knew exactly what happened when bambam stared tugging on his own hair.

bambam probably would of handled it better and not fully cried if he wasn't extremely tired but he hadn't got much sleep the night before.

but he didn't. so yugyeom very quickly stood up and grabbed bambam's hand. even though bambam was dating jackson, yugyeom was still his best friend.

"bammie, let's go hang out in jinyoung's room." he pulled bambam up and they left the living room.

"i'm so annoying," bambam cried into yugyeom's shoulder. "jackson doesn't even like me."

"bammie, jackson loves you so much. you're not annoying." yugyeom hugged bambam tightly, looking over his shoulder when he heard the door open. luckily it was only jinyoung because bambam probably wouldn't want to see jackson.

"is he okay?" jinyoung asked yugyeom who wss rubbing bambam's back as he cried.

"jackson thinks i'm annoying!" jinyoung sat next to them and rubbed bambam's arm. "and now i'm being annoying to you guys!"

"bambam, none of us think you're annoying. jackson didn't think you were annoying when he said that. he's worried about you. he feels bad."

there was a light knock on the door before jackson opened the door a little bit to look in.

"bammie." bambam looked up at him from yugyeom's shoulder. yugyeom stood up and had bambam stay on the bed. he and jinyoung walked past jackson and out of the room, pushing him in and shutting the door.

"don't worry about me. i'm being dumb," bambam sniffled and whipped a tear off his cheek. jackson sat next to him and placed his hand on his thigh, rubbing it before he grabbed bambam's hand and kissed it.

"you're never being dumb. you're allowed to feel this way. i didn't mean to say that to you. i know it makes you upset."

"but it shouldn't. i need to grow up. you probably hate me. it's like you're dating a toddler. i don't even know why you like me."

"that's a really long list, baby. i only have one thing i wish was different about you. i wish you understood that everyone loves you and you're not annoying. we could leave and i'll tell you every reason why i love you with my entire being. i love telling you why i love you."

"i love you so much!" bambam hugged jackson and shoved his face into the crook of jackson's neck and shoulder. "i'm so sorry. i want to be happy and i don't know why i'm not. i love you so much. but i miss my mama and i miss thailand. and i feel so bad everyday for trying to kill myself and i regret it so much. and i want to be happy because you shouldn't have to deal with me being sad and needed you to tell me that you don't hate me."

jackson began crying himself. he just wanted his baby to be happy but he was glad that bambam was really telling him how he felt.

"bammie, do you want to talk to someone. like a personal?" but bambam shook his head.

"i don't think there's anything wrong with me. i just think once i move in with you and don't live with my host family and i'm not in school anymore i'll feel better. i'm sorry i need reassurance all the time."

"it's okay. so you just feel like you need a change? i just want you to be happy. i don't want my baby to be sad."

"yeah. i still don't think my host family likes me. they don't talk to me much and they make fun of me when i don't know a word in korean. so i think being away from them and all the negativity and stress of school will be good for ne." jackson nodded and put his thumbs on bambam's cheeks, whipping away the tears.

"want to leave? we can go cuddle and watch the last airbender since you've been wanting to watch that." bambam nodded so jackson pulled him up and gave him a hug and kiss

when they went out to the living room, jackson told their friends they were leaving. yugyeom got up to give bambam a hug. he was so glad he had jackson.