mine • narry (going through editing)

1.3

vote and comment! i put a lil twist here...minor harry in this chap :(

day one:

As he stood quietly, minutes having only past from the toxic interaction between the two, he decided to ask Shawn to leave. Not for anyone else's reason but his own; which was that he felt as though at this moment, it would be best if he figured out what he thought for himself. It was still early, he had time to think it over and see what his next move may be, but at the same time, he debated whether he cared enough to do anything at all. There seemed to be a continuously increasing amount of pressure being slabbed onto his back like concrete and the concept of having to shift his priorities, even for a split moment, seemed too overbearing for his mind to withstand.

So, patiently, he hurried the Canadian out and rationalized that right now it was the time to figure things out for himself. He couldn't have any biased influences-- no more opinions from anyone other then him. This was his own life, these were his own relationships, and he couldn't keep depending on everyone else to solve them for him. Living like that seemed more draining than actually solving things on his own; he was nineteen and independence was necessary. He had to figure right from wrong on his own; when he managed to move out of this town he won't have his father to run to when things get difficult, he'll have to take every hit and learn to fly through them.

He closed the door, leaving only his presence in the shop as his mind began to drift.

-

Perhaps, he sympathized, that just as Harry wasn't there for him; he wasn't there for Harry. They were friends at this point, no matter how much he hated the term, and whether or not he wanted more wasn't applicable to their current situation. At this point that was all they were and he shouldn't have expected Harry to know; shouldn't have expected Harry to just understand everything without having to mutter a word.

That wasn't fair to either of them because then they both would be misunderstood. And, as he reached his conclusion towards their predicament, he also debated whether it was too late. They were friends, but barely crossing the boundary between that and acquaintances and with the man being as important as he was, there could be a fat chance where Harry decides, at the end of the day, all this excess chaos isn't worth another insignificant friendship.

The boy dragged a hand through his disheveled locks, feeling his fingers grip tightly onto them as his insecurities dug their sharp nails into his gut. It was always like this, every fucking time, and he wondered how many more years it would take for him to realize his worth-- for him to finally climb down his mountain of complexity issues. Frustrated, he felt himself begin to tear up. This had been a problem for so long and for once, he thought he finally got over it but--

And he realized in any scenario, whether friendship or relationship, nobody would ever have any time to deal with such an insecure mess of a boy.

. . .

Living without his dad felt more empty than he would've expected, it felt cold and shallow and hollow and all these other emotions he couldn't decipher as he laid practically lifeless on the couch, the death still so raw. His dad wasn't home, wouldn't be for the next few hours as he had to deliver some parts to a customer, leaving Niall to melt underneath reality's cruel grip. It was terrifying, the numbness yet intense pain he was hustling through every day and it was moments like these where he wished he had class or work to distract him; just a twenty-four hour hobby that could keep him from over-thinking about every occurrence in his life.