The Summer Before he Left

Chapter 26: Blair

'Dear Blair,

Words will never be able to describe how you made me feel. But here I am. Writing you the first letter of hopefully many. This summer has been the best summer of my life. You gave me hope. You were my light at the end of the tunnel. I'm so blessed to have you come into my life. But now we must go our separate ways and it will be hard, but I think we can do this if we work for it. Just like Noah and Ally.
I know there will come a time when I will forget the sound of your soft and sweet voice and you will forget the sound of my rough one. There will come a time when I forget the colors in your dark brown eyes and you will forget the colors in mine. I will forget the texture of your long brown hair, and the curves in your face. I will forget the smell of your spearmint gum, and your brown sugar and cinnamon perfume. I will forget that look you give me when you're about to kiss me, when you're staring right into my eyes just inches away from my face. Everything will be a faded memory. The details won't be so clear anymore. But I know that I will never forget how you made me feel. That is something that is tattooed on my brain and will be for a very long time.

I can only hope that you will think of me as much as I will think of you over these next few years. Because there will not be a day that I don't think about you. It will kill me being away from you. The loneliness might get a bit over whelming. I might go insane. I don't know. So much could happen in these next few years but until then I only ask that you don't forget me.

I know we will see each other again before my flight on the 19th. But I know I couldn't have remembered to say all of this, so here I am. So until we see each other again in a couple of weeks. I love you to the moon and back and always will.

I'll be seeing you. Sincerely, Drew

These are the words I have been staring at for the past week and a half. He wrote it on the first pages of my notebook he gave me. I have already wrote one to give to him before he gets on his flight. I couldn't decided it the note made me happy or sad. Maybe it's a little bit of both. In the past week and a half I have missed him more then I have missed anything in my life. I felt like my life was ending. I felt so lonely. All I wanted to do was sleep. Because when you sleep everything goes away for just a little while. Lauren has been the only one who can get me out of bed lately.

Lauren has been over almost ever day sense I've been back. We had been talking on skype and texting but that wasn't enough, I know I had to tell her everything in person. She had already told me all about her fling. Which her and that boy had already decided to split up after the summer ended because he goes goes to another school about 15 miles away.

I told Lauren almost everything about Drew and I. I mean she is my best friend and I needed to tell somebody. She was so excited through the whole thing, saying things like "Oh my god! That's so touching!" and "Are you sure that was actually Drew Adams?" She was so surprised about how he was with me and how different he was from when he was in school and stories she has heard about him.

Apparently the news of Drew and I spread through our peers pretty quickly and people had messaged me about it when I got back. Most times I would just ignore them. But Emily was one of the few I actually responded to. She wasn't very happy that we were still talking to each other and I was confused to of why? She just said that he will just hurt me and she really doesn't want that to happen. She told me he is a bad person and I don't know what he will do. I just told her that she doesn't need to worry about it because he was going away now anyway. Her and her family is also going to see him depart. It makes me wonder though why he moved away so quickly after high school. Maybe something happened between him and his family that he didn't tell me about.

Lauren and I sent our days catching up, going out on date nights together, and tanning. I did go meet Josh, the boy she had told me so much about from that summer. We were just as good of friends as we were before. I was worried that when I got back she would have replaced me.

Through all of this Lauren was there for me when I was lying on my bed crying and wishing I would have never said the things that I did on the last day. She comforted me and she told me things would pass and get better. But from where I was at I couldn't see that. I felt like everything was ending. Lauren was literally the only thing that got me through those days.

But when Lauren wasn't around all I did was stay in my room and listen to music, read, or look on Pinterest and Tumblr. One day I was scrolling through Pinterest and found a quote that totally caught me off guard and was one of the most beautiful things I had ever read.

This is what it was: "Her heart sank into her shoes as she realized at last how much she wanted him. No matter what his past was, no matter what he had done. Which was not to say that she would never let him know, but only that he moved her chemically more than anyone she had ever met, that all other men seemed pale besides him." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

I was blown away by what I had just read, so my first instinct was to find where it was from and read it. I did the research and found that it was from a short story called A New Leaf. I read all of on the Internet. It was the most beautiful and moving piece of literature I had ever read in my life. I found myself wishing the Fitzgerald were still alive so I could write him and ask him how he could possibly come up with something so beautiful and at the same time tragic. That story could have described my life and told my future. I really wanted to tell Drew about it, but I knew that wouldn't be any good. I couldn't talk to him. That's the only thing I wanted to do though. But I decided against it and continued to think think in awe about the story I had just read.

I had been telling mom and dad about when and where Drew was leaving ever sense we got back. But it was five days before he left when they told me some news that just crushed me.

"We arn't going to let you go see him leave." Said my dad.

"What? Are you serious?" I was in shock, I was not comprehending what they just said.

"It's a lot of gas to drive all the way to Indianapolis for an hour and come all the way back. And we just don't want you to go through leaving him again, we have been seeing how sad you are, and we don't want you to go threw this again." My mom said sympathetically.

At this moment I could barely breath. He will not forgive me! This is the only thing left on our list! He is going to be so disappointed. "Please." I said silently putting my head down.

You could see that they felt sorry for me, "That is our final decision, we are doing this for your own good." My dad said.

I stormed out of the room and went straight into my bed room. And what I did you probably could guess. The tears started forming and I started sobbing; soon I was was asleep and I got to forget things for a little bit.

~~~~~~

When I woke everything hit me and I was back into reality. Even though I told him that we shouldn't text, I did anyway. The only thing I said was, "I can't make it the 19th, I'm so sorry, I tried."

And for once I didn't get a reply.