Kitkats and AJ (Davekat Oneshots)

Oneshot #1 Mafia AU

(Based off and Ereri oneshot I read)

10:48 p.m.

7 minutes till him and his men arrive from there latest mission, 7 minutes till I see my love.

10:54 p.m.

I'm in the kitchen giving some of his men homemade soup and coffee. They are all sitting in the large dining room, but no sign of my love and it's still 1 minute until he said he would be back.

10:58 p.m.

He's late, he's never late, no matter what he's never late. Why is he fucking late? Did something happen, no one looks mainly down, but still there's the possibility that-

11:01 p.m.

The door opens, and there he is, my love in all of his ironically stoicness. But he made me fucking worry, Dave made me consider the fact that he was dead, he was late when everyone else was early or on time. That's if he's not getting anything tonight, nothing, and I'm not gonna fucking change my mind.

I give the angriest expression I could muster, cross my arms, jut my hip out in a sassy manner, and tap my foot on the floor impatiently. Most of his men are looking at me and smirking, fully knowing that their boss ain't getting nothing for tonight or the next month. Others who noticed that are new looked confuse, while the rest of the newbies don't even see.

He walked over to me and tried to wrap his hands around my waist, but before he could even touch me, I smacked his hand away. I turned my head slightly to see his reaction, a hurt somewhat one, right that's what he deserves.

He tries again, and I just smack a little harder.

By the fifth time, he tried everyone was looking at us. Dave is trying to get my affection, but I wasn't having any of his shit this time of night.

"Baaaabe, baaaaaaaabe, come on, please? Baby look at me, Karkles, KitKat, Karkitty, baby please?" Oh goddamit, he really knows how to get me, with his stupid ass cuteness. But nope I am not breaking, I'm not buying, and I'm not giving him any satisfaction.

Lots of the newbies sat there with their mouths wide open in shock,'what the fuck is going on? Why is boss begging like some kinda dog?' Is what I'm guessing the new recruits are thinking. But most of them just smirked at the two of us, well more of me but still. I smirked back at them, confirming to them that their boss will not have any fun nights for the next 3-4 weeks.

I eventually felt him breathing against my neck softly, apparently trying to get me to stop and just give in to his touch. But I stayed vigilant, even though I wanted to lean into his touch so badly.

"Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baaaaaaaaby! Please, KitKat, look at me, let me hold you! Karkles what did I do wrong please tell me, baby!"

I broke, "OH! WELL WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO FUCKING KNOW! YOU WERE 6 MINUTES LATE! 6 LONG FUCKING MINUTES! I WAS SO GODDAMN WORRIED ABOUT YOU! YOU'RE NEVER LATE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" You could hear the snickering and gasps from his men.

"I WAS SO FUCKING WORRIED THAT I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN! AND NOW YOU THINK YOUR ENTITLED TO ME GIVING YOU AFFECTION! WELL OPEN UP YOUR GODDAMN EYES MOTHERFUCKER! CAUSE IM NOT GIVING YOU ANYTHING FOR A MONTH YOU BASTARD!"

The snickering turned to laughter, I was fucking fuming, some of the newbies were even giggling at how defeated their boss was over a tiny person like me yelling at him.

"YOU MADE ME WORRY FOR FUCKING NOTH-mmmh!" He kissed me, which felt great but I was not done. I pushed him away, the first time in 14 years maybe 15.

"NO! YOU ARE NOT PULLING ANY OF THAT SHIT WITH ME AT 12:38 A.M.! I SAID NOTHING FOR A MONTH AND I MENT IT, NO KISSES, HUGS, CUDDLES, OR SEX! FUCKING NOTHING!"

I breathed a bit so that I could be calmer and actually think straight. The room was filled with laughter. I regained my composer and looked at him dead in the eye. He looked so defeated it hurt, but I knew he was just trying to get me to feel bad and all that shitty jazz.

"Dave, I already fucking told you, I am DONE with your FUCKING SHIT TONIGHT!" The laughter that just died down grew up again.

"B-but baby, please? I'm sorry I never meant to worry you, baby, please listen and look at me. I was getting gas, and it took longer than expected because the guy at the counter wouldn't stop talking! Please baby, baby, baby, Karkles! You need to believe me! I'm so sorry for making you worry! I'll never do it again!"

"Never?"

"Never."

"Do you swear it?"

"I swear I will never make you worry like that again, I'll call you if I'm gonna be late."

"Good! Still not getting anything for a month tho." A huge burst of laughter erupted, and many 'oooooooooh's where shared.

He just sank to the floor, groaned, and sighed in defeat. I smirked down at him and shook my hips teasingly.

I walked around and collected everyone's bowls and mugs. Some newer ones asked what just happened, so I had to explain to them that I was Dave's husband, that we love each other very much, and so I was worried that he was late. They understood, and probably thought to not mess with me. After I took the bowls and mugs most left to go to their own respected houses while others, like Sollux, Gamzee, Terezi, and Nepeta stayed and chatted. I brought all the dirty dishes to the sink and began to rinse them off. Dave obviously saw the opportunity and wrapped his arms around my little waist. But I had seen it coming, so I naturally elbowed him in the gut, which had caused him to stumble back a bit from surprise. Of course, it didn't actually hurt him he's a mafia boss after all.

"Mmmmm baby pleeeeaaaase I need you!"

I finished rinsing the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. I turned around to look at Dave and gave the quickest peck on the cheek in existence.

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey, wait! No KitKat you come back here right now and give me a fucking kiss!"

I giggled as I ran around the room jumping over tables trying to get away from him. He eventually caught me and slammed me down on the table putting my hands above my head pinning me to the table. He smirked, apparently Dave thought he was about to get me, but right before Strider could place his soft lips on mine I kicked him so he would stumble back and I could escape. After about an hour we were both tired, so I let him hug me by the waist.

"Karkitty, please forgive me, I'm sorry."

"Huff huff, ok I forgive you, but still no sex for a month."

A loud groan escaped his lips while the last few people laughed and left.

And we stood there hugging until Dave picked me up bridal style and walked up to our bedroom. We both undressed to our underwear, but I put on a huge t-shirt. We laid down and cuddled under the sheets, but when I felt him grab my ass, I swatted his hand. We laughed before falling asleep in each other's arms.

So I hope you like the first one shot, as I said this is based on an Ereri oneshot I read!