The first thing Eren did that night was an attempt to email Levi back. At first, he felt like he knew what he had to write, but once his fingers reached the keyboard his mind went blank. How was he supposed to respond after Levi sent more than a hundred emails which Eren never got to respond to? Was he supposed to apologize? Tell him why he never returned? Although it wasn't his fault, he felt like he lost the privilege to contact him back, like he didn't deserve it. It was three in the morning and the feel of having a laptop on his lap again felt awfully foreign and reminded him of his days in university before he dropped out.
Levi, I'm sorry. I'm fine and well. I wanted to contact you, god I wanted to so badly, but I wasn't able to because of reasons I will tell you later. I would explain in further depth, but I'm kind of freaking out right now. Please don't do anything stupid, okay? I'll be there soon. I'm coming back for you. I'm coming back home whether or not you hate me for what I've done. I miss you. I love you. Please know I still love you.
It was a short message, but that's how he left it. He wanted to say what he wanted to say to him in real life if he saw him again, which he knew he would. Sending anything through email made him feel restricted.
The arrow on the screen hovered above the send button and he pressed his mouse with certainty but was greeted by a box on the screen saying that the message could not be sent because the email address he was trying to send it to had been erased. A stone of anxiety fell on his chest as he took a great intake of breath. He felt horrible knowing that Levi wouldn't know that he was sorry until he found him. Guilt flooded his heart as he slammed his laptop closed and set it aside. He brought his knees to his chin as he tried to keep his mind from the negative side of things. He didn't want to imagine what Levi meant when he wrote that he was going on a trip. Out of frustration, he opened his laptop again and vigorously tapped the send button, while knowing it wouldn't send, over and over again until a pulsing pain grew on the tip of his forefinger.
With a loud sigh, he closed the laptop once more and shoved it under his bed so that he wouldn't be tempted to throw it across the room. He crawled under his covers and hug himself to his body as he begged for sleep to take him so that he wouldn't have to think of the bad side of things. He was hurting and perhaps it was because of love. Humans are all masochists so matter why they do or claim to be; they all do things that may have been good but end up harming themselves and then act like they're surprised or wonder why it had happened or question what they had done to deserve such punishment.
Eren woke up to the sound of his mother stomping up the stairs and slamming his door open. At first, he thought she was angry but figured his soft-spoken mother would not behave this way unless it was of high importance. She was huffing, and her hair was tied up in the messiest bun he had ever seen and she appeared to be flushed and sweaty. A phone was clutched in her hands as she tried to catch her breath.
"I... I did it," she said as she raised the phone in the air like it was some sort of trophy. "I got the earliest tickets, but it took a lot of arguing and bribing. We need to be at the airport in four hours. Start packing."
"Are you serious?"
"Eren, sweetheart, of course, I'm serious. I have the chance to make it up to you and I don't want to mess up again," his mother explained as she pressed the back of her hand to her temple. "Just pack your necessities, I want to be at the airport as soon as possible."
"What about dad? Is he coming?" Eren questioned as he threw the covers off of him and sprung up.
"No. He needs to watch over the villa while we're gone, and he has work. He'll be-"
