Chapter 30: Farewell

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Several weeks have passed and throughout those weeks, Levi developed severe insomnia due to the fact that he was too nervous to go to sleep in fear that Eren would wake up screaming and crying. On good days he would get four hours of sleep, most days he would get two hours of sleep with a few short naps throughout the day. He did not mind this too much because, with Eren around, it made everything better. Eren noticed this. Levi's dark circles under his eyes and more cranky attitude was hard to ignore and it bothered Eren greatly. 

"Is it because of me?" Eren asked suddenly as they were having breakfast together. "The reason you can't sleep?" 

"It's not that..." Levi trailed off. 

"Bullshit. We both knew damn well it's me, and I'm not offended," Eren snapped. His face softened. "I'm sorry." 

"I've said this before but you can't keep apologizing for things you can't control," Levi said with a tired smile. "I'm okay." 

"You should take a nap right now. It's not like we're going to do anything today, and we both don't have jobs so we're never busy with anything," Eren said as he kicked at Levi's leg with his foot under the table. 

"Speaking of jobs, are you ever going to get one? I probably won't be able to snag one for myself since no employer wants a criminal working for them, and I would feel bad if you just stayed here with me for most of your time," Levi said, changing the subject. 

"I will one day, maybe after I return to school and finish. Definitely not now because I don't think my mind is at a stable point right now. The government is giving you a bit of money, and I can rely on my parents for money, for now, so we don't have to worry about money until later when we're both better, alright? Now as I was saying, you should really take a nap," Eren told him as he got up and collected their coffee mugs and brought them to the sink. 

"I want to be with you. Call it an obsession but I want to be with you all the time, even when I am not awake," Levi said as he cradled his face in his hands and released a long yawn. 

"Love is, after all, mutual obsession. I'll lay down with you and read a book while you sleep if you want," said Eren as he began to wash the dishes in overly soapy water. The hot water stung his dry hands. Levi lifted himself from his chair and extended his arms out to stretch. 

"That sounds really nice right now," Levi said with a small grin. "You don't mind at all? We just woke up after all." 

"Of course I don't mind. You've been treating me like royalty all this time, and I don't have any plans of doing anything of importance," Eren stated as he finished washing the dishes. He grabbed a rag nearby and dried his hands with it. "Come on, to the bedroom." 

"You're so nice to me but I suppose angels are nice to everyone, even towards the devils themselves," Levi commented as Eren pressed a hand to Levi's back and guided him to the room, where their bed was messy and unmade. Levi flopped onto the bed and rolled into place as Eren picked up a vibrant blue book from the bedside table and joined him. Levi was already under the covers as Eren pulled it onto his lap as well. Although Levi was just about to pass out from exhaustion, curiosity stuck his mind. 

"What are you reading?" he asked.

"Call me by your name by André Aciman. Beautiful writing," Eren responded as he tangled his free hand into Levi's incredibly soft hair. 

"Read it to me." 

"No way. I'm at a very awkward part," Eren refused. 

"Read it to me," Levi repeated, a bit louder this time as if challenging him. 

With a sigh, Eren looked down at his page and started to read in a hushed voice as if ashamed of what he was about to say aloud. "'Something unexpected seemed to clear away between us, and, for a second, it seemed there was absolutely no difference in age between us, just two men kissing, and even this seemed to dissolve, as I began to feel we were not even two men, just two beings. I loved the egalitarianism of the moment. I loved the feeling younger and older, human to human, man to man, Jew to Jew. I loved the night- light. It made me feel snug and safe.'"

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