Peter Parker Oneshots

GET DA MAN AWAY FROM ME! Part 4

        After the group exited the R&D labs, they crowded into the elevators. "Where are we going now, Ms. Amaya?" Ms. Warner asked. "Training rooms! You may even see the Avengers practicing in there!" Amaya exclaimed. "It will actually be my first time up there," She continued. Peter sighed, and turned to Ned. "I want to pray that they won't be there, but with my ParkerLuck, they DEFINITELY will," Ned grinned slightly. "You think Thor will be there? Or the Black Widow? Ooh! Do you think Mr. Stark will be here?" He asked. "With ParkerLuck, maybe. You're ascending to 'all fangirling' - or 'fanboying mode'," Peter reminded him. The doors slid open, and Amaya swiped her card beside a pair of doors. Midtown High entered the room. And inside, was a sight for everyone but Peter to behold. Nat was battling with Bucky. Steve was decked out in his armor - Peter called it a costume - and was blocking arrows being shot at him by Clint. Wanda was sparring - if you could call it that - with Vision, and they were both trying to use their magic against each other. As Midtown took their seats, the Avengers all stopped and looked at them.
"Почему здесь дети?" Natasha said warily. Ned looked expectantly at Peter, and he translated in a whisper: "Why are there kids here?" Bucky raised his eyebrows at her. "Это класс паука. екскурсия." He replied. "It essentially means 'It's the spider's class. Field trip.'" Peter whisper-translated again. "Маленький паук? Где?" Nat asked, eyes lighting up. "'The little spider? Where?' I am so dead right now..." Peter trailed off. "Midtown High! What's up? I'm Clint, also known as Hawkeye. Then there's Natasha and Bucky here, the Black Widow and the Winter Soldier. Here's Steve Rogers, aka Cap, aka Capsicle, aka Captain America," Clint broke off as Steve punched him lightly. "Ow! Jeez, man. Anyways, here's Wanda, the Scarlet Witch, and Vision, aka the Vision." Clint smiled widely, as if greatly pleased with himself for the 'Vision' comment. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, skip the introductions. I'm Natasha Romanoff. We're going to teach you a thing or two about self-defense, so you won't be incredibly hopeless in your miserable little lives. Any questions? Great!" Nat said, ignoring the people's hands that flew into the air. "I will show you what REAL skill looks like." She turned to Bucky and nodded. They started sparring, throwing and dodging punches, kicks, and grabs. The whole class stared in awe. It ended when Natasha successfully grabbed Bucky's wrist, judo-flipped him, and pinned him to the ground. "Surrender?" She asked, and the man tapped out. "See? That is how you do not suck at life," Nat said, turning back to the class. "Anyone good enough - or foolish enough - to try their hand against me?" Flash immediately raised his hand. "Okay, come up. Let's see how you do," Bucky said with a slight smirk and a beckon. Flash swaggered up to Natasha. The round was over as quickly as it began, with the boy tapping out of a headlock almost immediately. Nat smiled sweetly - falsely, Peter was sure - and let him go.

"Anyone else? Peter, would you like to come up here?" The assassin asked, her eyes alighting on Peter as she smiled slightly. "Ohh you did NOT-" Peter was cut off as Ned shoved him forward. The boy gasped. "Ned, the betrayal! I need new friends!" Flash whispered harshly in his ear: "You do, except you have none!" Nat frowned at him slightly, although Peter knew that she couldn't hear his words. "What's up, маленький паук?" Nat smirked. "Так много, тетя паук," Peter sighed.
So much, aunt spider. The boy mouthed to Ned. Nat nodded in approval. "I see your Russian is improving," The assassin smiled at him. "Thanks!" Peter grinned. "Start already!" Clint yelled. Natasha simply flipped him off. "Ready?" Peter nodded, and the woman ran at him. His spidey sense went off, and he darted out of the range of a punch, then another, and a kick. The boy threw his own set of punches and kicks: arm, side, block, block, knee, stomach, block, sidestep, arm, stomach. Peter's last punch to the stomach connected, and Nat stumbled back. She moved forward: stomach, shoulder, block, arm, leg, knee, elbow, block, ribs, solar plexus. Peter dodged backward, giving himself space to recover. Then the older spider launched herself at him, and despite his spidey sense causing him to move, managed to trip him, and she held him down to the ground. "Surrender?" Natasha asked with a grin. Peter relaxed and took a breath, as if about to speak. Instead he lashed out with a foot and swept her legs out from underneath her. Peter flipped her over, pinning her to the ground. "Nope! Do you?" He grinned. Nat smiled slightly, and tapped the ground beside her. "I surrender," The assassin said.

Peter let her free and stood up triumphantly. He then saw his class staring at him in awe, Ned included. MJ was even showing surprise: an emotion OTHER than her constant appearance of boredom, and, occasionally, anger. Flash's eyes were wide. Peter looked back at Steve, who was wearing an expression of mingled surprise and uncomfortableness. Wanda was wearing her 'Oh shit' face, but she didn't dare speak her mind, since the star spangled man with a plan was currently in the room. "You beat the Black Widow!" Ned gasped. "Well no shit!" Clint rolled his eyes. Steve turned his 'Look of Disapproval' on the archer. Wanda snickered and subtly flashed a thumbs up at the curser. Vision shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I think it's time for you to move on, bye kids! Enjoy whatever, see you later!" Wanda yelled awkwardly. Amaya led the group out of the training room. As soon as the elevator doors closed, students burst out into excited chatter. "How did he-" "-just can't believe..." "-the BLACK WIDOW!" "Natasha fucking Romanoff..." Meanwhile, Ned and Peter were doing a complex system of high-fives and fist bumps, while MJ was drawing a picture of Flash in her crisis notebook.

The group stepped out of the elevators "The boss has called. For some reason, you guys get-" Amaya was cut off. Lightning flashed brightly, and thunder rumbled around the tower. Peter sighed and buried his face in his hands. "What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?" Flash taunted as soon as Amaya and Ms. Warner turned away to look at the sky. "Usually, no. Today: I'm not overly fond of what follows," Peter retorted.

Sure enough, one thunder god and one god of mischief hurtled into the room, leaving an imprint on the floor. "Are we interrupting something?" Loki asked uncomfortably. "Kids!!!! I was told you would be here!" Thor boomed. "Where is the mini-Stark? The Parker lad? The man of Spiders?" Peter coughed loudly, muffling the 'man of spiders' part. "Hello Mr. Thor. Mr. Loki." He smiled. "Ahh, Peter! Nice to see you!" Loki smiled at him. "Mini-Stark!" Thor yelled, sweeping the boy up in a hug. "Thank you, Mr. Thor, uh, I am kind of on a field trip right now, so... could you please put me down?" Peter asked hesitantly. "Oh! Tony told me I needed to immediately return to Midgard, for this field trip was of utmost importance! Would you mortals like to see my hammer? You can even try to lift it!" A/N: Pretend he repaired the hammer but also got Stormbreaker or whatever. Peter's class shouted excitedly. "Line up," Amaya sighed. Then, to Ms. Warner, she whispered: "This happens more that you'd think." Thor placed his hammer down on a table. Flash moved up to the hammer, but it wouldn't shift. Then Abe, Cindy, and the rest of Peter's classmates. MJ walked up and pulled. The hammer shifted slightly, and almost was lifted off of the table, and Thor's eyes widened. However, the object did not move anymore, and MJ shrugged, unaffected, and moved away. The rest of Midtown stared. The same thing happened to Ned.

Peter awkwardly walked up. He put his hands on the hammer and pulled with all of his strength. The weapon hurtled into the air, and nearly slammed into the ceiling with the force that Peter had exerted. Thor (that definitely didn't say Theo until I fixed it a month later. Definitely not.) gasped, and lifted the boy into the air. "You are worthy! This boy is worthy!" Loki simply rolled his eyes. "Who would think he wasn't?" The mischief god asked eloquently. Ned ran up to him, and they high-fived as soon as Peter was let down. "So the elevator is not worthy, but Peter is!" Thor grinned as he remembered his conversation with Mr. Stark and Mr. Rogers. Midtown stared at Peter, who awkwardly sidled up to Ned and the two tried to fade into the ground. "Awkward," Ned whispered. "As I was saying," Amaya cleared her throat. "You guys for some reason get a Q&A with the Avengers: including the one and only Tony Stark!" Peter paled. Flash laughed as he strode up to the boy. "You may be all buddy-buddy with the Avengers, but now I'll prove that you don't actually know Tony Stark!" He smirked. "Give it a rest, Flash. Isn't it obvious now that he's telling the truth?" Cindy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you should stop doubting him," Ned exclaimed. "You're making a fool and an idiot of yourself," MJ said. "Oh wait, you already were both," she continued.

Peter was distracted by two gods as Thor and Loki strolled into a room directly ahead of the school. The doors swung open a few seconds after they entered, by the one and only Tony Stark. "Welcome!" He exclaimed with an evil grin at Peter.