The Sea and Death (Perico Fanfic)

Chapter Eight

Nico's POV

After I stormed to my cabin, I sat on my bed and put my head on my knees while my knees were pressed against my chest. I wanted to just scream at everybody and cry, but I couldn't do that. I'm not a little kid anymore and I'm not about to start acting like one.

Some people still thought of him as a little kid (*cough* Percy *cough*) and I was sick of it. Sometimes even Hazel did it, well actually more like all the time. I wish people could see that I'm old enough to take care of myself and not be treated like I can't stand up for myself. If there was a monster, some people would fight it before I could even look at it. He wants to be stronger and with people doing that, he would never accomplish that goal. One person in particular who did that was Percy. He was always actin like a hero. I'm not saying that's bad, if he was my hero-.. No, wait! What am I thinking? I'm so stupid. I just wanted Percy to stop acting like everyone's hero and let someone else take the spotlight, and that was totally all that I was thinking. Nothing about Percy being my hero and dating me and kissing me and hugging-.. Gah! Snap out of it, Nico!

What is going on with me? I've been thinking more about him ever since Jason felt the need to "care" about me and my idiotic feelings. I'd just want to be emotionless and stop my thoughts from drifting onto the boy I love every single time I think. I could just have a blank mind with no feelings or emotions. Sounded fine to me. If I were to die today, I would just welcome it and move on. You know, shake deaths hand, introduce myself and say how it's a pleasure to make its acquaintance. Wait, I've encountered death before. What am I even thinking about now? I'm just rambling on about my feelings. It's now started to bother me how I've started caring and how I have feelings for others. It's annoying as hell and like I said before, I just want to be emotionless and be free from all thoughts and feelings. I won't have to care about others because I won't have anything left inside of me, except my insides and stuff.

Right now, I just wanted a hug or something to cheer me up from you know, Percy. I wanted to think about him, yet I didn't. Ugh, I sound like some girl. What if I was a girl? Wouldn't it be more normal to date him? He'd probably still pick Annabeth over me, though. She was blonde, pretty, smart, and everything Percy could ask for. I wouldn't even be cute as a girl. Probably as ugly as, well, how I am now. Unhealthily skinny. All black clothes. It wasn't very attractive, was it? I could probably change my style-.. No, I don't need to change who I am for other people, do I? If I like my style, then it should be fine. Well, I don't really like my style, I just wear what I wear. I don't care about appearance as much as how they act and what their personality was like. Percy was sweet and he cared about others. He put others before himself, and I loved that about him. I loved everything about him, and I wish I could change that about myself. I wish I could change everything about myself. I wish I could have just never been born. My mother and Bianca might now be dead, right? Well, Bianca probably. Oh, Bianca, I miss you dearly and I hope you love your new family in rebirth. My thoughts got way off topic. I was tearing up. No, no, no not going to cry.

Stop thinking about her, a voice hissed in my head.

Anyways, my style wasn't what Percy was looking for. He wasn't into my style. Or gender. Gods, why do I have to like him? Why did he ever have to come into my life? He barged into my life and he stole my heart away from me. Like a burglar in your home, stealing everything you have. Percy was that, but all he stole was my heart and he made all of my thoughts think about him. Made sure that I always felt love towards him. Why did he do that? Why did he have to do this to me? I was screwed in the head, constantly having my heart broken while he was with Annabeth. Why did I have to be alive? Bianca was dead and if I wasn't alive, she wouldn't be so protective over me and she could've just lived like the rest of us were. I was at fault for her being dead because I was born. Why was-?? My thoughts were interrupted by somebody barging in. Oh, Hazel...

"Oh, Nico! Are you okay?" Hazel asked slamming the door behind her.

"I'm fine, Hazel. Thanks." I mumbled.

"Are you hurt? Have you been crying?"

"No."

"Oh, you're so strong holding your feelings in like that. It's okay to let them out sometimes." She said rubbing my back.

"I'm not strong at all." I muttered mostly to myself.

"Yes you are, Nico." She said hugging me.

After a minute or two of me not speaking she said, "Piper and Annabeth were talking about you having a crush. Piper can sense it, I guess. You'd make a cute couple with Annabeth." She said smiling.

I looked at her, "Annabeth?! You think I like Annabeth?! Oh, Hazel, you've got it all wrong."

"What? But you always look at her and Percy with jealousy in your eyes. I-I thought you liked Annabeth."

"Yeah, I look at them with jealousy in my eyes. I guess I'll tell you the truth now." I sighed and looked down at my hands, "I like Percy.."

"Oh. Oh! Well, that's still okay." She looked nervous.

"Do you hate me now?"

"Oh, no! Nico I could never hate you! Don't ever think that!" She said hugging me tightly, "Who else knows?"

"Jason. We were in the same room when we encountered Cupid. It was a big fiasco. But, Hazel, please do not tell anyone. Not Frank or any of the girls, okay?"

"Okay, Nico! I promise." She smiled, probably happy that I trusted her with a secret.

"Well, I'll be going, then! Bye, Nico!" She kissed me on the cheek and left as happy as can be.

.

Would she tell anyone?