What Will Be (Chibs and Juice)

2

By the time Chibs had gotten there with the food, Juice was all but vibrating with nerves. He'd left the door in locked so the man could let himself in, he lay stretched out on the sofa.

"Juicey? Where ya at lad?"

"In here. Waiting for you. I'm not very hungry Chibs."

"Aye? Ye  have a fever?"

"No, I just don't feel that great. Told you I'd be no fun today."

Chibs grumbled something to himself, and went back into the kitchen. When he came back into the living room he had a beer for himself and a Sprite for the other. "Here ye numpty, this'll help your belly. Ye pick a movie?"

Juice nodded, sitting up to accept the drink. "It's there on the table. Unless you want something else."

Chibs picked up the case and chuckled. "Okay. I'll put it in for us." Chibs put the movie in and came back over to the couch, sitting beside the other man. "You can lay back the way you were. I won't bite ye."

At first Juice just looked at him like he was crazy, but once the man started to pull him down he went as if his limbs had been turned to jello.

He laid his head down in the other mans lap and looked around trying to process the events of the day. He wasn't sure what had led them here but he was both terrified and glad. As the movie began to play Chibs started to run his fingers through the other mans hair and over his tattooed scalp in a circular pattern. Juice let out a pleased sigh and nestled down into his lap letting himself relax.

"Whas been with ye Juicy? Yeve been wound up."

"I'm fine Chibs really. Just a lot going on in my head."

"Ye haven't been at the clubhouse lately. Been having to track ye down. Jax is getting concerned about yer commitment."

Juice tensed. He was committed to the club. That was his family. He would do anything for them. Being on the front lines though was a bit much for him. He was stressing out.

"I just, I'm committed. I am. I just sometimes I need to be alone."

"Juicy boy." Chibs used his most stern voice, causing goosebumps to raise over Juices body his body to flush. "Ye and I both know yer not good on yer own. Now quit lyin ta me and tell me what's going on so I can help ye."

"It's true. I have to clear my head. I have to get away." He sat up in a panic trying to defend himself. "I mean I'm not good on my own, no. We know that, you know that. But I'm all I've got most of the time."

"Ye have me ye numpty. Ye always have me. Ye can call me."

"I can't always just talk about it Chibby. Sometimes I don't have words. I just need someone to understand..." his voice broke and the tears flowed freely now, he didn't even care, this seemed to be what Chibs wanted.

"It's okay Juicey. Just say what ye can. I'm not going to judge you for feeling. Come 'ere, lay back down."

"You're my only friend Chibs. Like the only person I don't feel like has some sort of M.O that will change behind my back in a split second. Like everyone else I feel like they tolerate me."

"The others like you fine Juice. You have friends outside the club. Yeah?"

"Not really. I mean online. Sure. But I left all that behind when I came here. The Sons are my family now Chibs. I'm pretty sure they like me as much as my blood."

"Juice..."

"No one even noticed I left Chibs. Back home. No one noticed. I have the same number available , no ones called. Everyone from the club is always hanging out and shit, I'm never invited. It's like I never upgraded from prospect man. So I've built no real friendships, I just run the shit I'm told to run and do what I'm told to do. At the end of the day I'm alone or drunk with some crow eater and that's not what I want."

Chibs looked at him dumbfounded for a minute. He hadn't really realized the kid felt that way. He always seemed happy for the most part and they hung out a lot.

"We hang out. I'm sorry ye feel like ye canna tell me shit or whatever. I didn't realize ye had so much doubt and loneliness going on. I leave ye alone so I wasn't a bother. I'd come do this every day with ye. Just to spend time with ye."

Juice looked up at him, scrunching his brow.
"Can we watch the movie now? I don't want to talk anymore."

"Aye. Ye numpty. Let me go get the pizza. Ye need ta eat too." He chuckled as he slipped out from under him. On his way back he noticed how Juice looked, his face looked worried yet happy at the same time.

"Whas on yer mind?"

"Just thinking. How much do you mean it? Like if I told you something you didn't want to know?"

"Did ye rat?"

"No"

"Did ye fuck my daughter or my ex wife in Belfast?"

"Geez no!" He replied with his face twisted in horror.

Chibs sat the pizza down and moved closer to him, enough so he was intimidatingly inside his personal space. Juice could feel his breath on him, as he looked up to meet his gaze from where he still sat on the couch. He felt his own breath hitch, this is what he was afraid of. Chibs would find out how bad he wanted him, the thoughts he'd been having. Chibs would hate him. His mind raced, he wasn't sure what to do. He braced for a punch.

"Are ye needing something ye can't get from the crow eaters?" His voice was husky and thick.

Juice swallowed thickly and nodded with his eyes wide.

"What's that Juice? Hmmm? Tell me?"

Juice just looked at him, he felt like an hour had passed when really it had only been a few seconds probably. His mouth was dry, he felt Chibs eyes bore into him.

"Um... someone to take it away."

"Mmmhmm. "Take what Away?"

"Responsibility's, trouble, stress. Someone to be in control for me. So I can't fuck up."

"Ye think I wouldn't wanne be that person Juicy? Hmmm?"

Juices eyes raced around the room, he tried to think, would be? Did he know what that meant? What was happening?

"I don't know. I mean I didn't really think so."

"Well yer wrong Juicy. I meant that I'm here for ye. Slowly, I'll take that from ye. Ye tell me when you can what ye want. We'll talk about it. Right now let's eat and watch the movie. Yer getting overwhelmed."

Juice let out an exasperated sigh and slumped against the sofa. Chibs took the seat next to him and opened the pizza box.

"Eat Juice. You gotta eat."

Juice took a slice of pizza and nibbled. He wanted to lay back on his lap, that felt the best. The movie started and Juice was sucked in, mindlessly eating his pizza. Chibs was glad he seemed to feel better as the movie played on. Once he finished what he was going to eat of the pizza he pulled the other man back into his lap and rubbed his head.

Juice nuzzled his thigh openly this time, glad that this seemed to be okay. He felt okay with this, if Chibs wanted to help him, to take care of his needs then he was going to let him. He hoped he didn't become too needy to fast, but dammit this lap and head rubbing felt so good he knew this was going to at least be a routine thing.