What Will Be (Chibs and Juice)

21

Juice slowed as they reached Charming. He liked the feeling of the sun on his face and the smells of nature around him. This is what he liked about being a Son. The rides, being on the road, being a family, meeting Chibs, those were the best things. He wished he could have those things and leave the bad stuff out. He didn't want to do time again, last time they traded him out for protection and he ended up shanked in the kidneys. He didn't think he'd survive again. He didn't even want to think about it really, being forced away from Chibs for that long alone would kill him.

He squinted his eyes against the sun and looked forward, just a few more miles and he'd be pulling into Chibs drive way. He was more than ready to shed Juice and be Juan, inside those walls he could be Juan. Granted he knew he needed to be grown up, it wasn't safe for him to switch his mindset here, but being around Fillip made it difficult.

He knew it was stupid, why would he even feel the need to be small. He shouldn't want that, Fillip deserved someone better. He knew that. He needed someone that wasn't a mess, could take care of themselves, was not an imposter and actually capable of being a Son. He needed someone he didn't have to worry about having sex with. He knew he was everything Fillip didn't need, but for some reason Fillip wanted him. It wasn't fair, but when was life fair.
He remembered meeting the man with the accent he could barely understand. His greying brown hair pushed back behind blue sunglasses were such a contrast to the cut he'd thought at the time. The scars on his face made him scary but he smiled and it was genuine. He'd offered to take him on, he sponsored him to prospect.

The day he made it into Charming he figured he'd made it as far as he could. He'd ran to the other side of the country, fleeing Queens, the life he'd had there. He didn't talk about it now, he tried not to remember it. His family didn't even notice he'd left so what did it matter?

In Queens he was making ends meet trading favors. It wasn't glamorous but he was making it. When he needed extra money he'd hack an account and take some. Never more than he needed. When O'Neal took interest in him, at first he thought it was great, he was special. He treated him good, caught up his bills, took him to nice dinners, once he moved into O'Neals place that's when things changed. He thought he was leaving tricks behind, but instead he became a full fledged prostitute with one of the biggest pimps in Queens. The only way out was in a box, or to run. He packed a few of his things and in the middle of the night, while O'Neal entertained some women in the club below their apartment, he took the first bus out of town. He didn't even care where it went, he just had to leave. At first O'Neal called looking for him, but after a few weeks the calls stopped. Now he had occasional nightmares about what would happen if he were found but he had his brothers now. Surely they'd protect him, right?
He shook the thought from his head as he pulled into the drive way. He smiled when he saw Fillip standing in the door way waiting for him.

It took everything in him not to run into his arms. He walked up to the house and Fillip pulled him into a tight hug, kissing the side of his head.
"Missed ye lad. Glad it went well."

Juan couldnt talk from being smashed but he didn't mind. For the moment everything in his mind settled and he just felt safe. Using his foot he kicked the door closed and wiggled free enough to kiss Fillips face all over before landing on his lips.

"I missed you also. I don't want to keep going away like that. I just want to stay here and be with you." He blurted in between kisses. Fillip took the words to heart, however he knew the lad was happy to be back and wasn't even aware of the things he was saying.

Fillip squeezed him again before letting go. "Let's go sit and tell me about your little trip." He sighed. "My story isn't going to be as fun as yours."

Juan followed him into the room and took off his cut and boots before sitting on the couch. He sat beside Fillip only briefly before he moved over and put himself on his lap, snuggling his face into his chest.
"Is this okay Daddy? I just need to be close to you." He wasn't feeling especially small, he just felt clingy, he wanted to be as close as he could be for as long as Fillip would let him.
His strong arms wrapped around Juan's body and held him there, making Juan sigh in relief. "Aye lad, ye can stay as long as ye need. I need it too. I do need ye to be a big boy though so I can talk to ye. Can ye do tha?"
Juan nodded. "I'm not small. I just need contact and I just like to call you Daddy. Promise." He looked Fillip in the eye to prove his point.
"Alrigh then. I'm just gonna be blunt lad. Clay didn't make it back from the cabin. Jax is moving up to President, I'm his second in command. He wants to move the club towards going legit but it won't be easy. Ye understand wha I'm saying lad?"
Juan nodded. Despite all the bad stuff Clay had done, he'd loved the man, he was his leader his brother. He tried but couldn't stop the tears that fell, Fillip comforted him as best he could. They sat in silence holding each other waiting for Juan to form thoughts.