What Will Be (Chibs and Juice)

36

Juan flopped around in bed trying to get comfortable, looking for something to watch. The house was quiet, the fact that he was alone started closing in on him. He grunted in frustration, he was bored and that wasn't supposed to happen. He'd came here for solace, but instead the voices inside him kept telling him he was an idiot.

"Fuck it" he murmured to himself getting off the bed. "Daddy says I can do what I want here. Here is safe. I can practice being myself. None of those fuckers are here to judge me." He spoke in a condescending tone to his frog. "You don't care. You're just a stuffed frog. You know what Daddy would say right now?" He looked at his stuffed friend with big playful eyes. Finding it much easier to just slip into his smallness if he had a friend do it with him. Even if said friend was stuffed and brightly colored.
"Yer jus resless lad. Why don ye go-in get yer toys and try playin for a bit. Bet tha''ll make ye feeel be'er." Juan exaggerated the accent as best he could to try and sound like Fillip. He made himself giggle.
Then he gasped, with surprised eyes. "Froggy! Daddy does not talk funny! He speaks beautiful!" He humphed as he briskly made his way to the den.

He looked over the few toys he had and decided to just collect them all into his arms and carry them back to the bed. He then ran back and gathered all of the couch cushions, weird decorative pillows, and blankets he could find. He looked proudly at his pile in the bedroom floor.
"Shhh frog! Not a mess, makin a fort!"
He stacked the cushions around on the bed, then added the bed pillows for stability. He used the weird pillows for the entrance and then draped blankets all over the top of it. His toys were safely surrounded with in his new kingdom, frog perched atop it all protectively looking over the lands. He crawled into his makeshift door, and then from the inside made adjustments to let in light and air.
In all of his biological years this was by far the best most elaborate pillow fort he'd ever managed and he was proud of it.
"Is my castle! I am the Prince, Daddy is the King. Cept the King is away at battle right now, so we have to hold down the fort. Frog you are my guard. Like those ones in England that can't move. 'Cept of course you don't have a silly hat. Bet Daddy would get us one! Maybe even a reeeal one! Maybe he will take us there one day. That would be so great! I only been once to Ireland, but it wasn't no fun. I wanna go with Daddy and see where he camed from with fun. No loud guns, baby snatchers, and scary priests. Daddy would never let us get snatched frog."

He made himself comfortable and turned on cartoons giving up on a movie. He dumped out all his tiny blocks and started to build garages for his cars, homes for his figures. He wanted a village for his kingdom. He babbled on and on to frog about his creations, laughing about it all. For a brief moment his adult mind started to intrude, this time he wasn't mean to himself. He realized for the first time in a month he was relaxed, calm, and genuinely happy.

It felt almost like an out of body experience, he could see himself playing, without a care in the world. Fillip was right, being small could be what he needed to express. In various ways maybe, but as a coping mechanism it seemed to be helping. He tried to shake out his Juice brain and not over analyze himself, thus pulling himself from his moment.

"Frog? Are you sleepy? I heard you yawning."
He paused as if he were waiting for the stuffed animal to respond.
"Well why don't you come into the castle and cuddle me. I think we will be safe if you take a break for bedtime."
He pulled frog into the pillow fort and cuddled him, laying back on some of the pillows he'd arranged for his head. His own eyes felt heavy and wished Daddy were here to hold them.
"Daddy will be home soon frog. You can fall asleep." He whispered in a sleepy voice, eyes already closing.

When he woke up the sun was beaming into the room through the curtains he didn't close. He heard his toys clanking around on the bed as he moved his stiff legs, stretching.
His phone said eight AM, it would be noon before he made it to TM, but he felt so much better after getting such a good nights sleep. He yawned into the phone when Jessie answered.

"Juice? You alright?"

"Yeah! Morning! Had to yawn I'm sorry."

"Morning to you. So what's the plan for the day?"

"Heading back to TM in a bit. You coming in with me?"

"Yeah that's fine. How far out are you? I need to know when to leave."

He thought for second, he didn't want to give up his location.
"Meet me at the diner in Lodi, we can go from there. I'll be there in about 3 hours." He over estimated, giving himself plenty of time to get dressed and ready to go. He also needed to clean up the mess Juan Carlos seemed to have made.

"Frog you have to stay here. I'm sorry, we can't risk you being seen."
He pouted at his friend, but sat him back on the bed.
It took him almost an hour to get his mess cleaned up, but when he was finally satisfied with it, it was cleaner than it had been previously.

The drive to the diner took him an hour and a half. He waited outside on his bike for Jessie to pull up. He decided chain smoking was his thing today as he lit smoke after smoke waiting for her. Finally he saw her car pull in.

"Juice! What sort of shit did you get into last night?" She hugged him.

"None!" He huffed from her tight squeeze.

"Let's get some breakfast for the road?" He nodded in agreement. He hadn't chose the diner by chance, he needed food.

"I'm gonna call Tig real quick since we're together now. He will be able to hear you and not accuse me of lying." He wiggled his brows at her.

The line rang three times before a very aggravated Tig answered.

"What!?" His voice boomed. Juice called the burner phone, he should have known better.

"Tiggy?" His voice was small from being startled.

Tig sighed and softened on the line.
"Juice? Where are you brother? You said you'd be here this morning. I was getting worried."

"Jessie and I over slept, we stopped at the diner for breakfast. I'm sorry. We will be there in the next hour okay."

Tig made a noise that sounded like he agreed.
"Are you mad?" His voice was small again. Jessie noticed but figured it was probably just because he was trying to be quiet.

"No buddy, um Juice. No I'm not mad. Irritated yes. You could have handled last night so much better but I'm not mad. Please hurry back okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you soon. Coming to the garage."
Tig made another noise of agreement and then hung up.

When he and Jessie walked into the garage things were as normal as they could be at TM. No one other than Tig seemed to notice his arrival.
He walked over to them smiling, throwing an arm around each of their shoulders.
"So when we finish up here today I want to talk to you about last night okay? In the mean time, Jessie, make your self at home. This one has work to do." He snorted at his own joke and pulled Juice with him into his bay.
"You got a letter from Chibs. It was dropped off this morning. Don't know why he sent it here of all places."
Juice smiled, he wanted to read his letter. He knew though that after his behavior last night, Tig would make him wait till they finished for the day to give it to him. He'd just have to wait.