What Will Be (Chibs and Juice)

39

Jax saw Juices face drop as soon as he'd entered the room. Juice looked like he was going to faint, or cry, Jax wasn't sure which, Tig had a surprised expression, but remained true to form, unwavering. Jax casually strode up to them, smiling, arms open for a hug. When they let go, Jax took his seat followed by the others.
"Chibs couldn't be here." He apologized. "Misunderstanding with the blues, he's in the hole till tomorrow. I wanted to speak to you guys though." He raised his eye brows at Juice.

Juice fidgeted in his seat, not liking the look on Jax's face, this is not what he expected for the day. He had so many things this time he wanted to talk about. He felt his chest tighten, he could hear his heart beat in his ears. He wasn't focused on anyone or anything except that Fillip was mad at him. His last visit had been so awkward he didn't want to see him anymore. Juice hadn't meant to be that way, he just felt sad, he hated leaving Fillip there and he couldn't think of anything to say. He didn't want to cry and he would if he had said too much. Daddy told him not to cry. He tried to be strong and tough. Even though when they got in the van that afternoon he had cried so much Tig eventually pulled over so he could comfort him.
"Okay boss what's up?" Tig asked casually, while also keeping an eye on Juice. Trying to gage what the man was focused on, if he was focused at all. He saw the fear in Juices posture, he was stiff even though he was trying to look relaxed in front of Jax.

Jax cleared his throat. "Well, I uh- I know about you and Chibs." He kept his eyes on Juice. The color left his face, his mouth opened as if he were going to say something but Jax wasn't finished.
"I don't care about whatever you have going on. Im going to talk with him. I will care if it affects club business. That all aside, I'm concerned about Chibs." He finished bluntly trying not to sound like an asshole.
Juices mind flooded with panic, thinking about the times Chibs had mentioned leaving. Even his own conversation with Jax about his commitment to the club played through his head like a movie on fast forward. Before he could stop it words were falling out of his mouth.
"He's committed to the club Jax. You don't have to worry about him." He picked as his thumb nail absently while keeping eye contact with Jax. Tig rubbed his hand over his shoulder blades soothingly.
"I'm not worried about his commitment. He's depressed, I haven't seen him like this since Fiona. How long has this been going on?"
Juice sighed, he wasn't even sure. Did this time count? Were they still a thing? His head was spinning and he wanted to leave. He shrugged looking at Jax with a serious expression.
"Long enough to be serious regardless. Anyway, Lowen mentioned a deal, some of us might get out early. I'm going to put Chibs up to be released. I think you could both use that. The club needs a VP out there, and having us both in here isn't good."

Juices eyes were wide with fear, he felt tears stinging and hoped they wouldn't fall.
"You need to get out Jax. You're the president."
Juices words were not as confident as he wanted them to sound but he heard Tig hum in agreement with him.
"I am the president, I make that call Juice." His voice was firm but empathetic. "I will be fine in here. I won't be by myself, I've got connections. Not everyone is getting out early. Lowen said six months with time served the judge may let some of us go. Just for the guys booked with lesser charges, I took most of the charges anyway because I'm president. I'm not getting out before the year. The club needs to carry on, don't worry about me. I'm curious to know, how are you holding up?"

"Huh?" Juice was confused, this entire day had him all thrown off. Tig nudged him trying to get him to focus. The behavior he was displaying now, Tig had been seeing here and there more often. He just didn't seem right, Tig was worried for his mental state.
"You, how are you holding up?" Jax asks again, more serious this time.

Juice put his hands in front of him and swallowed. He felt himself sweating, his nerves were out of wack. "I'm uh-I'm fine. Clubs managing, ya know."

Jax raised a brow and sighed in disbelief. "Tig?"

Tig cleared his throat and then sat beside Juice. "He's a mess man, but he's managing. I've been looking out for him, keeping him busy. Clubs keeping him together. Haven't seen Roosevelt in a while but I think him being with us all the time is helping."

Jax nodded, looked at the clock and sighed again, rubbing his face. "So I'll let Chibs know you came by. Keep writing him, I think it's the only thing keeping him sane. I'll have him call you, keep your personal mobile close. We'll see you guys soon." Jax stood and nodded again before he turned to leave.

Juice finally breathed for what was probably the first time since he'd gotten there. "Tig." He whispered, with big eyes. "He can call us? Why hasn't he been calling?"

Tig patted his shoulder. "Let's go put money on his books man. He probably hasn't set anything up, you know how he is."

"You think he will call? What if calling makes him sadder? I don't want hi..."

"Shhhhh... we can talk in the van alright. You're doing that thing again."

Juice sighed and tried to get himself together. "Guess I should tell you the truth at some point?"

Tig gave him a sympathetic smile. "You don't have to kid, I already figured it out. I'm gonna have Venus come over this evening. We'll go back to mine if that's alright, I'm need stuff for your house. We can talk or whatever then." Juice nodded, Tig held his shoulder giving him a side hug before leading him into the corridor. "Come on kid, let's go give your Daddy some money to call you." He whispered playfully in Juices ear, chuckling at the flush of skin, reaching his ears.