What Will Be (Chibs and Juice)

38

Lights out was an hour ago when the alarms started blaring. Some idiot somewhere in the prison had done something stupid, Chibs groaned and put his pillow over his head. Three months in this hell hole and Chibs couldn't take much more. The food was killing him, the club was killing him, Jax was killing him. He just wanted to be in his own bed curled up with Juice.
His last visit with Juice had been uncomfortable and he wasn't sure why. He wouldn't sit still, he didn't hug him like he typically would, he just sling his arm lazily around him and let go quickly. His conversation was short, they spent a lot of the hour just staring at one another.  Something was wrong with the lad, he wasn't writing as often either. His last letter had detailed his new friend Jessie, whom Chibs was familiar with. He talked a lot about Tig and the other guys. There were very few mentions of them, he hadn't even ended the letter with an I love you, which was not typical. A list of reasons went through his head, none of them were good. They ranged from him choosing Tig over him to depression. His baby boy wouldn't be his baby boy went he got out.
The alarm wouldn't stop blaring, his head was pounding and Jax was yelling at him to get up. He couldn't make his body move. He was tired, sick, depressed and still pissed off. He just wasn't to be left alone to wallow in his misery. The officer came into the cell and ripped the pillow from his face, Chibs grabbed it quickly and fought briefly for it before letting go, watching his letters scatter around the room. He roughly pulled Chibs too his feet, the room started to spin and then he vomited all over the front of the mans uniform.
Tears welled in his eyes, but he fought them back, he wouldn't give this man the satisfaction. Jax's eyes were bugging out and he didn't move. The officer grabbed Chibs roughly by the front of his tank top and pulled him from the cell.
"Clean this shit up!" He yelled in Jax's face as he pushed Chibs in front of him, towards the wall.
"Hands behind you. Taking you to the infirmary and then you'll spend a night in the hole. Maybe that will do you some good." His voice boomed, Chibs complied. Praying to himself that Jax wouldn't read any of his letters. For the most part they were standard trying to be safe, there were a few with some slips in them, one was down right filthy.

Jax picked all the letters up and sat them on Chibs bed. He didn't want to be nosy, but he wanted to know what was going on with Chibs. He had been getting more and more irate and depressed, his commitment to the club was concerning Jax. He had a large pile of letters, he figured somewhere in them there would be some sort of answer.

The first few he read over didn't make any sense really. He could tell they were from Juice, he'd signed one of the letters with his name, and all the hand writing was the same. The letters were addressed to D however and Jax couldn't for the life of him figure out what that meant. He talked about the guys in the club, Tig was brought up often. He talked about missing him, missing everyone. Nothing really explained what was going on with Chibs.

Tig is watching out for me, so that's good. Not the same though. I miss you so much. Anything else from Lowen?
Jax tossed the letter onto the bed, and sighed picking up another one.

Today Tig took me to the store to get some stuff. He said I couldn't go by myself cause I'd probably get into something. I got some stuff I think you'd approve of. I can't wait till you come home.
That one was interesting. The letter as a whole was boring but Jax focuses on the store. Why was Tig spending so much time with him. He had asked him to keep an eye out because of Roosevelt but this was a bit much.

I hope things are going well for you in there. I'm losing my mind I think. I just keep slipping and eventually Tig is going to notice. I need to talk to you I think about that. Jessie knows, she isn't going to turn us in or anything.
What does Jessie know? Turn them in for what? Slipping where? Jax was confused and rubbed his eyes in frustration.

I'm glad you are okay with everything we talked about last Thursday. It's been a lot easier for me. I still want you to come home though. Aunts and Uncles just aren't the same. I can't wait to see you again.
Jax pondered for a minute on the things he could understand with in the letters. He missed Chibs, apparently a lot. More than the rest of them for sure. He had only sent an occasional letter the everyone else and they consisted of coded updates. He knew the two were close but now he was wondering how close.

When you get home, I'm going to give you the best blowjob you've ever had. I know we weren't there yet and that's fine. It's still okay to think about it. I haven't fooled around with anyone, the girls keep trying but I keep dodging them. Jess has helped a lot with that really. That and Tig scares people away sometimes but I'm glad cause I get nervous. I know you said it was fine but it just doesn't feel right. Anyway... my cock gets hard when I think about you touching me. I want you so bad in the worst ways.
Jax bit his fist on that one and just stopped reading. He didn't see that coming, though it made sense. Technically the letter said they hadn't yet, but from the I love you's and the I miss you's in the letters so far he knew it was happening. They were in love, as odd as it may be and some how Tig had a part in it.
D,
Im sad. I miss you and it hurts. I don't know what to do.
J
That letter was way short in comparison. The tone of it was sad and Jax was concerned. Chibs must have been concerned given the other letters and then this one. There was still a stack he hadn't read through but he'd invaded their privacy enough.
He folded the letters neatly and placed them back into Chibs pillow case. Chibs was depressed, there was nothing else to say about it. Sure they all were, they all missed someone. Jax had never seen the man this tore up over someone since he and Fiona finalized their divorce. They'd have to talk about it and the way it would affect the club but he for now didn't see the harm in it.
Chibs wouldn't be back for a day, tomorrow he had visitation he'd be denied. Jax figures he'd go in his place and talk to Juice and Tig together. Let them know about Chibs and lightly discuss the letters. He could already see the panick in Juices eyes when he walked into the room tomorrow. He chuckled to himself about it.
Sighing he climbed back onto his bunk. Being president was much more interesting than he'd expected.