What Will Be (Chibs and Juice)

24

Chibs and Juice arrived at TM together in time for their shifts in the garage. The club smelled like bacon and coffee meaning Chucky was making breakfast for the crew. A few of the others were already moving around the area, some prospects stumbled from the dorms.

Gemma hadn't gotten into the office, no one had heard from her. Everyone knew that she knew about Clay. She'd given her blessing, said her goodbye. Doesn't change that her husband was dead. No matter what he'd done, he was still her husband. Certainly there were sides of him she saw that no one else did. Just as Gemma tried to be hard, everyone knew she loved them. They were her boys.

There weren't many cars scheduled for the day. The prospects had made their way out to the garage and set up for the day. The few Sons that were there were lingering around talking with one another drinking their coffees. A good easy morning, Chibs was glad for that today. He knew Gemma wouldn't be in today, as was her right. Tonight though there would be an ordainment party for Jax.

A thick tense fog hung over the group. Everyone knew about Clay but no one would talk about it. Some of the men seemed to be genuinely upset, some indifferent. The brothers from other charters would be in tonight for the wake and the party. They'd let Clay out maintaining his honor for Gemma's sake. For Jax. They didn't want the sins of his step-father to seep onto his stand. In an ironic turn of events they'd reported the death as a bike accident. No one questioned. Everyone knew.

The tension wasn't helping Juice at all. He sat alone now at the bar, already deep into the computer systems. He didn't notice the people moving around him, the sounds of mourning, anger and mundane car repair.
Juices lingering anxiety from the night before had him hoping he could hide away in the bar and work on surveillance. He had been feeling off and clingy since hed woken up in the middle of the night. Fillip had still been downstairs talking on the phone with Tara, explaining to her why she didn't need to come over any more. He'd had a really hard time convincing her everything was fine, but eventually he did. When Fillip hung up the phone he had noticed Juan standing in the door way.

His eyes were big, and he was drawn into himself, making himself shrink away. Fillip had seen this posture many many times from Juan over the time he'd known him, but only recently did he come to learn what Juan was feeling when he looked like that. He was making himself small because he felt small, he was hesitant because he still wasn't sure if it was okay.

Fillip motioned for him to come into the room and wrapped him in a hug. He'd let go a little but not fully like he had previously at the other house. Fillip had held him in his lap, rocking them back and forth on the couch. He wasn't sure what had caused Juan Carlos to make an appearance, he didn't seem to stay long. By the time they made it up to bed together he'd seemed big again, until he went to sleep.

Fillip had woken up in a pool of sweat from being clung too all night long. He'd spent most of the night thinking about their conversations. Trying to make complete sense of it all. He had to understand before he could move anything forward. He was concerned Juan Carlos would greet him, and they had work today. He personally wasn't ready for that, he also didn't want to discourage the lad, but, he had no plan of action yet for public slip ups. He'd have to find just the right way to grow him up enough for work.

He'd been greeted however, by a big Juan, Juice even. Albeit he was obviously anxious.
Sitting at the bar now with laptop out, he had that same look on his face. He had a coffee and a plate of toast and eggs sat off to the side, still untouched from where Fillip had sat it.
He didn't notice when Chibs walked up behind him, startling him when he placed his hand onto his shoulder.
"Ye gonna keep yer nose in this screen all day?"

Juice looked at him hoping his eyes relayed the message.

"Didn't mean to scare ye lad. Ye maybe need a break?"

Juice shook his head no. He wanted to stay busy, avoid everyone. He didn't want to have a breakdown here and he was so tense he just might snap.

"Lad. It's lunch time and ye haven't touched yer brekki, nor have ye moved. It's been four hours lad. Why don we get some lunch out?"

Juice looked exasperated, he just wanted to work. He sighed at Chibs and tried to smile.
His tone gave away what his face didn't. He snapped his words at Fillip, brushing his hand from his shoulder.
"I'm fine really. I just really need to get past this firewall. I'll eat later." He turned back to the computer.

Fillip cleared his throat, tightened the grip on his shoulder. He leaned down a bit, so his words went straight to his ear and no one else's.

"Juan. I think ye need a break. Ye understand?"

A chill went up Juans spine bringing him to the present. He had a drop in the pit of his stomach, he knew Chibs never interfered with his job at the club unless it was important. He never had, he wouldn't now. Now that Fillip had a more prevalent role in his life, of course he'd notice how tense he'd been, how stressed he looked. Not only notice, but feel a need to do something about it. Of course Daddy wanted him to take a break, and he suddenly felt like he'd been naughty. Daddy hadn't ordered him to take a break, simply asked. Juan said no. He was trying to avoid taking time for himself to keep himself busy, despite needing a break. His anxiety won and he'd gotten snappy with Fillip, answering him rudely.

He looked at Fillip with apologetic eyes and nodded, sliding from the bar stool.

Outside the sun was high, Juan had to squint against it to look up at Fillips face.
"I'm sorry for being an ass. I was just super focused. I know im supposed to obey you and I should have stopped when you suggested a break. I just get so inside my head, and I get confused in public. I do need a break."
Fillip smiled at him, and squeezed his hand on the back of his neck.
"It's alright lad. I know ye get really into that computer stuff. Ye weren't naughty. It's okay to not know. Ye also have yer own mind and free will. If ye really didn't want or need a break, I would accept a confident decline. Everything even the air in there is tense, I need a break, thought ye might want to go with me. Ye feelin alrigh or a little scattered?"

"Scattered. Very scattered." They mounted their bikes and Juan followed Fillip out of the TM lot.