He always caught my eye.
Or what I thought was him.
He hadn't left my mind in 2 years.
Every time I saw someone with a similar hair color to his I almost walked up to them. It made my heart stop and break again when they turned around and it wasn't him.
I could almost tell from the hair color that it wasn't him though but I still hoped it would be him, that I would've remembered wrong but that's never the case.
He had this unique grayish silver hair that he was born with.
He told me a million times that he wanted to dye his hair black to fit in but I always refused to let him.
He would never get that same, beautiful color of silver again.
I didn't wanna loose it since I thought it fit his pale skin.
This guy meant so much to me, he always have but we were destined to be separated, and that felt awful.
Not being able to see or talk to the guy you love is truly
Heartbreaking
Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't I have been born in his neighborhood, where we could be together?
You see, I live in a pretty nice neighborhood. Nothing bad happens here, ever. The worst thing that ever happened here was that someone accidentally stepped on a dog.
During nights my parents usually lets me be out to spend time with my friends.
I basically live in the picture perfect neighborhood, with a picture perfect family and with picture perfect friends.
It can get pretty boring at times.
Especially in school, no one dares to do anything. With the pressure from their parents to always be the best it's understandable, but it's boring.
I have always known that I don't fit in here. I'm usually the one that wants to do stuff I'm not exactly supposed to, like vandalizing. They paint over my art all the time but I go back to re-do it.
I'm always the annoying one in class that messes with the teacher and the students.
I always get in trouble for something stupid.
I know I'm not supposed to be here, I don't wanna live here.
I need someone that is like me.
Someone that likes causing trouble.
Someone that wouldn't tell me to stop.
I knew exactly where I would find this person.
I might live in the picture perfect family but the people on the other side of town doesn't.
My friends calls them junkies.
They lived in the bad parts of the town.
The part that had the typical old neighborhood houses.
With the bad jobs that basically paid off nothing.
They always did illegal shit.
Like vandalizing, stealing, random gang fights and so on.
They often got drunk or high.
That's what everyone told me.
Maybe we're just scared?
I mean they aren't really the nicest people on this earth, considering they usually solved things with fights, but there has to be something more.
Now you might ask who I was referring to in the beginning.
Well..
I like, correction love, a person from this other neighborhood.
We were really close friends when we were kids, we always hung out.
We talked about everything and everyone.
Our friendship lasted up until I was 14 and he was 15. My parents didn't like the fact that I hung out with a "junky" so they forbid me to be with him.
When I told my dear friend this, he looked at me with teary eyes and said:
"I guess this is goodbye then"
I had tried to convince him that we could hide our relationship.
The thing was, a few weeks before I was forbidden to hang out with him, I confessed.
I confessed and he said he liked me too.
And now everything I had built up courage to say, was ripped away from me.
He told me multiple times that we couldn't, that he didn't want me getting in trouble over him.
His soft hand reached out to touch my cheek that was now full of tears that had been running down.
He looked me deep into my eyes and I could tell he wasn't happy. He didn't wanna do this. He didn't wanna leave me.
But he did
He leaned in slowly, and after what felt like ages, his soft pink lips touched mine.
He then stood up and walked away from our old meetup place.
The place that was right in the middle of our two neighborhoods.
The beautiful lake that we often sat beside to talk and laugh.
It was the best place I could've imagined.
But that changes after that day.
Now whenever I go here I see everything.
All the memories,
They play up in front of me
Almost like scenes from a movie.
I could laugh and smile at all the fun and amazing memories I made with him here.
But at the end of the day I cry.
When I come to that last memory.
The memory of my first kiss
My first love
My first heartbreak
This boy meant so much to me that I still scribble his name on my folders for school.
I still write our initials on the trees like we used to do.
I still draw the same way he liked.
I still use the exact same color spray paint as we used when we vandalized in the town.
I miss him so much it's indescribable.
I love you Taehyung
