My Descriptive writing pieces

Breakups

We've all got these trauma brains now, brains that developed with less love than we needed, crap food and violence. We've all got these short attention spans and the need to pull people close only to push them away when things get hard. It's that urge to run, that fear of trust, that uncomfortableness with nurturing love - addicted to the dysfunction and rejecting the cure. It takes a bravery to let it in, to allow the self to be loved by another. I think to let it be solid, lasting, good, I need to love me too and that's been so brutally hard. And they say you gotta have someone else love you first, so ain't that a vicious cycle? So, yeah, I've been bad. I pushed you away. I made up reasons for stuff you did and believed them, as if you ever could have had a mean intention, that was never you. So our breakup, my coldness, my spite... it's bad wiring I'm fighting. At least now I know, at least there's a chance for something better. So, I can say hand on heart I deserve this, that I have throughly earned your distain, but you wanna be my friend? Because I wanna learn how to be yours. If I help, if I'm kind I might start to like myself and that would be a start to something better