My Descriptive writing pieces

The joys of pain

Period cramps as many will know can be either excrutiating or managable, but the pain that I'm constantly feeling now is about 10 times worse. I know what you're thinking "That's a bit of an overexaggeration" but the worst part about it is, it's the truth.

It's the pain of stupidity, thinking that everone is different when deep down they're all the same. But there is one person who i truly believe is different to the rest of the guys that i've met. He said he'd never abuse me or hurt me intentionally and on a daily basis makes me smile. He messages me when i finish work, he calls me when i get home for no reason, just so we can have a chat and be ourselves. Why is it so hard to ask for something like this. The problem is, he's not mine nor anyone elses, in the eyes of social norms and values it can be seen as wrong to talk to another guy when you already have a boyfriend, is it really that bad if we're just friends and only friends. The world is full of small mided and disgusting people who set out to knock people down all the time for no reason. This guy and I are just friends and here'll be nothing between us, ever. I love the boyfriend I have now and he's the only guy i've been with who has treated me in a way that makes me feel wanted.

The main issue is that it's painful for me to see and hear the fact that the guy i've almost spent 9 months with is suspecting with his other friends that i have a crush on him. I'm not sure he knows how much it hurts when he says " *a name i won't mention* has a crush on you, it's so obvious" everytime this is said, not only by my boyfriend but my other friends too, it pains me everytime. I'm a flirtacious person naturally and so is the other guy, we just get on a lot and i reckon that he's jealous that on some days when he's busy, I talk to his friend more than him. It's ridiculous, especially in this day and age, Is it really not right for a girl who has a boyfriend to be friends with his friend? I don't get it, it makes no sense. The worst thing about it is that he says "You can talk to and hug whoever you like", if that was the case then why does it matter so much. I's like a constant punch in the stomach and it's agonising. All i'm trying to do is make myself and others happy, I've made others happy so why is it so hard to make myself feel the same. It's not fair on myself to make people happy but for me to feel sad, all the effort i put in to make others feel welcome and that they belong should make me happy. but why is it making me feel the opposite?

Long story short...

Do I have a crush on this other guy?
- No

Will I cheat on my boyfriend for his best friend?
- No, that mainly happens in American romance movies

But in the long run if things don't work out, will i have a crush on him then?
- I don't know

Well at least no more questions will be asked about the matter, if they are asked by anyone who claims to be my friend, are they really my friends if they can't accept my decisions?