My Descriptive writing pieces

4,417 miles apart

At 4am she woke up anxiously, today was the day. The day where her boyfriend was flying 4,417 miles away to America. She was excited for him but also worried out of her mind, making her feel sick all the time and have a tight chest whenever a negative possibility entered her vulnerable head. 

She knew he wasn't getting up until 6 but she wanted to be awake enough to talk to him before he left, she hated the idea that they were going to be so far away from each other for nearly a month, anything could happen to him and she wouldn't even know until it was too late. She loved him tremendously and selfishly didn't want him to leave. Her heart is hurting and she now has no one there to help or comfort her, all her friends are either on holiday or busy and now her boyfriend has left too. This time of year was always the cause of her downfall, she had experienced so many traumatic experiences around the summer time hitting august. If only she could punch the months out of existence so she could forget everything that happened, to be able to get rid of the horrible memories without a trace.

It hit 6 o'clock and on cue that's when her boyfriend messaged her "Good morning baby". Just seeing that message triggered the cogs inside her blue eyes to bring up the tears, she knew that this day would be one of the tough days throughout the 3 weeks that he's away. She managed to message him up until 1:41pm when he turned his phone to flight mode before he got on his 7 hour flight to America. It hit her like a tonne of bricks, she's never really liked being alone at this time of year, especially what happened around this time last year, she really needed her boyfriend right about now. It's not like she wasn't happy or excited for him, she helped with his last fundraiser so obviously she isn't going to not be happy on what he'd done to allow himself to go on this trip of a lifetime. That's when she thought 'we have time to make our own memories of our life together, why am i worrying about it so much, he'll be fine and he said he'd message me when he lands. Pull yourself together and don't forget to breathe'. But now that he'd gone, she didn't know what to do with herself, so she decided to run like a headless chicken around he house and try and pick up as many plates and glasses from every room so she wasn't nagged on to do it later because she really wasn't in the mood for anyone to annoy her today. Or at all for the next three weeks until her boyfriend returns on the 9th August, but it was only the 20th July.

The time between those two dates passed incredibly slowly, and it's not like she was sat at home all day doing nothing, she'd been swimming twice, went to the park twice, cinema, the odd bit of exercise and of course paintings and other arty crafts. In fact she spent most of her time making her boyfriend a present which she hopes he'll love because it was rather difficult to paint to the content he gave her. So for a majority of the time that he was away she sat out on the garden in her pokemon pyjama vest top and shorts in the blazing hot sun and a cider on the tray beside her. She had the bluetooth speaker blaring out music to keep her motivated from her personal playlist which is actually on her boyfriend's Spotify premium account. A mixed variety of songs came on, some of which she probably never would've listened too until a friend was nagging her to listen to this particular song, which from her perspective she found it rather sexual but strangely amusing, then there were other songs which ere a bit more her type which were the sad songs by artists such as Dean Lewis, Lewis Capaldi, James TW, Troye Sivan and many others. Ironically, the sad songs are what made her happy because it allowed her to think how lucky she is to have someone as amazing as her boyfriend in her life, seeing as when she compares herself to him, she sees herself as either no where near as amazing as him, or nothing.

She knows she shouldn't think this way but she just can't help it, her mind has been shaped by all of the poisonous people she let into her life without even knowing. She only realised when it was too late.

Every day she felt the same emotions but she felt different at the same time, not really knowing how to describe it. Then she took up art therapy again where she kept a black, squared paper, notebook and drew or wrote whatever she was thinking or feeling because trying to explain it would be too complicated and no one would understand anyway, so if she did the drawings then they can be open to interpretation so nobody may ever know the true meaning. They'll either understand it or they won't. There's no space between the two. So far she filled 5 pages in about a week, a few pictures and a poem about choice. The poem read as:

Seasons change but not by choice

Weather can change but not by choice

Colours can change but not by choice

I can change but that's my choice

If God created our world by choice, we should be able to choose how we live our own lives in our own created world

I am a christian by choice

I live my life through the choices that I make

I learn through the choices that I make

We have our  own options to change who we are if we want and choose to do so

But NOBODY can make our choices for us

They can guide us into directions that they may think is best for us in the long run

But it's our choice whether we take their advice or whether we ;eave ourselves open to our own choices and decisions...

It was safe to say that for a majority of the time her boyfriend was away, she was an emotional wreck. It just shows how lost she is without him and how much he means to her. Hopefully he knows that already because she can barely think straight never mind trying to tell the person she loves the most how special he is and why she may or may not have sleep deprivation because she waited up until 3am so she could talk to him. Some nights they couldn't talk because she was either asleep or he was busy, but without fail she stayed awake every night for the sake of her boyfriend. You might be thinking how she managed, well in fact she had her trusty second hand rose-gold 3DS and her Pokemon Sun game cartridge to help her through this emotional journey, as well as her pokemon one. Needless to say she managed to catch a few rare pokemon and evolve the odd few, but she managed to get three of her favourite pokemon in one sitting, one of these included a Popplio seeing that's the starter she picked back in May after her birthday.

But everything that she did, reminded her of him. It's like she couldn't escape a never ending loop of memories and pain because she missed him so much.