Normal //Ryan Metzger

07.5: I cant do this

My eyes hesitated to open, the old tears acting as glue around my eye lids. I squinted as light reflected off of the beige wall that I was facing. Ryan's presence was absent from me.
   I looked around for him, his side of the bed empty. I flipped the covers off of my body and groggily walked to the hallway towards the kitchen. Ryan stood at the sink, scrubbing dishes and putting them aside on the counter.
   "Good morning," I said crossing my arms across my chest and leaning on the hallway entrance.
   "It's actually good afternoon," Ryan laughed, looking over his shoulder and smiling at me. I got confused and looked at the clock and sure enough it was 12:43 in the afternoon.
   "Jesus, I slept that long?" I asked wiping the dried tears from last night.
   "I wouldn't call what you did sleeping," He said, scrubbing a pot. "More like twitching and fighting sleep until 6:30."
   "Really?" I asked. "Did you sleep at all?"
    "Not really," He said nonchalantly. "Once you knocked out I decided to get some chores done before the tour starts here in a few."
   "Ryan, you didn't get any sleep?" I walked up to him closer. I leaned up against the counter by the sink. There was slight darkness forming under his eyes.
   "I mean I fell asleep during the movie for a few hours, so that counts," He shrugged. "Plus, I'm fine. We have pre tour preparations today and that's it so it's not like I'm running a marathon today. Also, if you wanna come, you can. We are just setting stuff up."
   "Ryan, you didn't have to stay up all night for me," I said, trying to get him to realize that not sleeping was a bad idea.
   "I wanted to make sure you were gonna be okay,"
  "You don't have to worry about me. I know my attack last night was awful, and I'm so embarrassed you had to be there for it-"
   "Don't be embarrassed about that stuff. You can't control it," He said, finally making eye contact with me.
   "I know, but it just sucks knowing you saw me at my lowest and most vulnerable point last night," I said, looking at the ground.
   "Lo, it's okay. My job as a friend is to be here for you so I'm gonna be here no matter what."
   I looked up and gave him a smile, meeting his eyes. He flashed his smile which made my heart skip a beat involuntarily.
   "Now, go in my room and on the second drawer from the left, grab a sweatshirt. You've got goosebumps," He laughed, nudging towards my arms.
   I looked down and saw the goosebumps forming. What he didn't know was the goosebumps weren't there because I was cold, it was because of him. Nothing specific about him, just him. I smiled but quickly faded it, knowing I needed to stop those thoughts.
   "Thanks," I said with my smile and headed back into his room to grab the sweatshirt in the drawer; a grey Columbia crewneck with blue writing.
   I slipped on the sweatshirt and soaked in his scent, making me smile again without noticing it.
*
   For the rest of the day,I helped Ryan finish up his list of chores. Jack had left before I woke up, so the two of us tackled the chores one by one.
   I flopped down on the couch after sweeping the hardwood floors and decided to text Jess so she knows I'm alive.
    Lauren: Hey, spent the night last night and going to this tour production thing I'll be back tonight.
   I clicked off my phone and walked to the kitchen, but not thirty seconds later my watch was dinging that Jess had texted me back.
     Jess: Tour production?
   "Hey Lo," I heard Ryan say to get my attention from behind me. I turned around before going to my phone and Ryan flung a grape at my forehead with a spoon. When it thudded against my forehead, he busted out laughing, grabbing at his stomach.
   "Ryan!" I yelped in shock as I reached for the grape that was rolling on the floor. His laughter filled the quiet apartment, filling it with joy.
"Your face!" He said in between laughs, trying to catch his breath. "Priceless."
I launched the grape back at him and missed his ear barely. This made him laugh even more.
I turned back towards my phone laughing, but stopped again when I felt something hit my ass. A grape rolled by my feet on the wood.
"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry," He said covering his mouth with one hand and holding the spoon in the other.
"Oh, you're over now, Metzger," I said and launched towards him, my feet stomping on the floor as I did. He threw the spoon in the sink and darted towards the living room, but I caught him before he could.
I jumped up to his shoulders trying to pull him down. We both landed on the ground, him now overpowering me.
We both laughed until we lost our breaths. We stared into each other's eyes as the apartment's noise level died down. We didn't break the eye contact until Ryan planted his lips on mine.
It tastes almost the same as the last time we kissed, but it was sweeter this time. More gentle and caring than the forceful kiss of our last.
I combed my fingers through the back of his hair to deepen the kiss and he placed one hand on the side of my face and the other was planted on the hardwood for support.
I was loving every minute of this, my heart full of ecstasy as he gently deepened the kiss every second. I pulled away from his face to stop, looking at his face which showed confusion.
"We can't do this," I said quietly, brushing off a piece of fuzz from the floor off of his shirt. "I can't do this."
"Lauren, it's okay, Jack is out for the da-," He said sitting up.
"It's not that," I said looking up into the sea of his eyes. "I can't do this because I'm falling in love with you, Ryan. Every minute I'm falling in love with you and I can't do that to you.."

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-this is a two parter chapter sorry
-is this rushed?? I feel like this is rushed
-idk chapter song is Drama