Normal //Ryan Metzger

34.5: dont give up

I laid there on the table, going in and out of consciousness as the drugs they had administered were kicking in.
   "She's losing a lot of blood, push three pints of O," the doctor yelled but it sounded faint and in the distance, even though she was right on the other side of the curtain that was on my neck.
   "The husband and family want an update," I heard a nurse say. I tried to call out for Ryan, to get the nurse's attention to tell Ryan I'm fine, but the tube shoved down my throat was restricting me from talking and was breathing for me.
   "Tell him that if he isn't patient, he will be leaving the hospital without a wife and son, so get out of my OR," the doctor yelled as I finally fell into a state of unconsciousness. The OR's bright lights faded into black.

    "Look at him," Ryan said, holding the wrapped up baby in his hands. "He's got my nose and your beautiful eyes babe."
   The room around us was dark, a pitch black room with nothing but Ryan and the baby around me.
   I was in the hospital gown, staring at Ryan as he held the baby. I was cautious to walk up to him, knowing this was not right.
   "It's okay," Ryan said, rocking the baby as it started to fuss. "What's wrong babe?"
   I realized he was asking me and I snapped out of the confused state I was in.
   "That's our-" I said, curiously inching my way towards him on the pitch black floor.
    "Yeah," He said with his big smile, "look at him."
   He moved the blanket so I could see the view better but when I looked into the blanket, there was nothing in it, an empty shell. I gasped and moved back as Ryan dropped the blanket on the ground, it disappearing as soon as it hit the ground.
   Ryan looked at the dissipated baby blanket that was a pile of pieces and tried to put them back together, growing more and more frustrated by the minute.
   "What did you do?" He screamed at me, him foaming at the mouth as anger and sadness quickly took over his happy expression. He jumped up from the ground and got in my face. "You took this away from me!"
   "Ryan, I-"
   "You took the only thing I wanted from my future. I thought you loved me?" His screams hit my heart hard, making my own tears form at my eyes. Ryan had his own streaming down his face as it contorted with anger.
   "I-I-" but I stopped myself, looking down at my hospital gown where blood was seeping from an incision on my lower abdomen. It pooled onto the floor, matching the same black color as it puddled together.
   I held onto my stomach as pain surged through my body. I kneeled, trying to get rid of it, as Ryan stood there, staring down at me.
   "Why did I even marry you?" He asked me in almost a whispered as I cried out in pain. My hands were soaked in my own scarlet liquid as Ryan dropped his ring in front of me. Fear and pain were the only things that were rushing through me as I tried to reach for Ryan while he walked away.
   "Ryan, wait-" I coughed, but the words choked out and were barely audible.
   "You've done enough," he said through his teeth, making me cry at the sight of him walking away into the void of darkness in front of me.
   I sobbed as I saw a grey light coming from my left. The light grew from the darkness and illuminated a bright white. So bright, I covered my eyes.
   I stood back up, the blood still pouring from me as I heard a faint voice behind me.
   "Lauren," Jack said, running up to where I was standing. His and Adam's feet were standing in the growing pool of blood, getting soaked themselves. "You can't just leave us like that."
   "What do you mean?" I choked out, holding onto my stomach in pain.
   "Ryan needs you," He said, reaching for my arm to pull me back. "The baby needs you, we need you."
   "Ryan doesn't need me," I said tearing up. "All he wanted was a family and I'm taking that away."
   "If you leave," Adam said, pointing to the blinding light behind me. "Then you're taking that family away."
   "But I-"
   "Ryan needs you to breath, to eat, to sleep, to live," Jack said,pulling on my arm even harder as a force pulled me the opposite way. "You can't just leave."
   "I feel like I have to," I said, looking up at his big eyes. "What's the point anymore?"
    "There's still hope, Lauren," Adam said, helping his brother hold me back. "You can't give up!"
   I looked at the two brothers with an ache in my heart.
   "Too late," I whispered and their grip was let go and I walked towards the white flash that was in front of me now.