My Secret, Our Secret (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 13

I had calmed down from the outburst I had in the hallway. Thinking about it made me laugh. John looked at me with a confused look. I blushed from his stare, but my expression went quite white when I remembered that there was a possibility that he might hate me.

"Hey, are you okay? You're looking a little pale," he said as he touched my forehead. I slapped his hand away from reflex.

"Oh, sorry," I said as I looked at his almost shocked face. His face went back to normal and he didn't come near me or even look at me.

"John, do you..." I bite my lips hard. I could feel tears forming again. Why am I such a crybaby? "Do you hate me?" I blurted. he looked at me with a confused face.

"Why...why do you think that?" he hollered. I was shocked and wiped my tears he was also shocked, "No, sorry for yelling,"

"...So? You don't hate me?" I asked in a whisper.

"I don't...it's not like that, okay? I just don't really feel good," he said as he avoids my eyes.

"Is it because I'm gay?" I ask, again, tears stung my eyes.

"What? No! I use to have friends who were gay, so I'm fine with it," he said as he hesitates to look at me.

"Then why?" I ask.

"That's because...I don't know! I'm just weird when it comes to you..." he hid his reddening face. I looked at him and laughed, he turned towards me and looks me in the eyes, "Why are you laughing?"

"You finally looked at me," I said with a soft smile. He looks at me for a while then he pounces on me.

"You sly little lion!" he said as he ruffled my hair. I was glad, it was the same John. Jack appeared with a grumpy Emily.

"Apologize to Leon," he said with a demanding voice. She clicked her tongue then took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry!" she yelled out loud, others passing by turned our way and I felt like hiding.

"It's okay, really," I said to try to divert the attention away. I hate being the center of the attention. She looked at me one last time and I could see that there were regret and pity in her eyes. I hate being looked at with pity but I took it as a good thing, she walked away.

"How were the conversation with John and you?" Jack asked as soon as Emily left. I just nodded he moved over and touched my eyes, "Were you crying?"

John slapped Jack's hand away and glared at him, I gulped and thought that John was insane.

"Hey, Jack are you..." he said, then he said the rest in a whisper, "...really dating Leon?"

"What? Has Leon not told you yet?" he said as he smirked, I made a silly face of confusion and he chuckled. He filled John all about my ex and why he had said that.

"Your EX?!" John said out loud.

"HEY!" I stepped on his foot, "Lower your volume,"

"Right, sorry. But your ex? He is such a jerk! Why did you have to fall for him? I know I can treat you better than that!" he yelled in an indoor voice then stopped when he saw our faces, "Ummm...I didn't mean that, okay?"

"I didn't know you swing that way...and towards Leon to boot," Jack said. I looked at him and shivered. He looked at me with his mouth hung open.

"I don't like guys...it's just that, ugh! Nothing!" John said as he rubbed the back of his head. His face was red I could see his ears turning bright red and smiled, Jack looked at me.

"Hmm? What's this? John you like Leon?" June said as he appeared in front of us, I froze. June heard that? What do I do?

"That's not it," John said with hostility. He looked at me as I look at June with shyness.

"What? Why are you being so mean?" June said.

"Nothing," John mumbled. He clenched his fist and clicked his tongue. I looked at him and I could tell that there was a pain in his eyes. He walked away and I followed as Jack kept June company. Jack looked at me with eyes of support. I followed after John quietly trying to make space for him and not bother him.

"What...who is it?" he asked in a frustrated voice, "Who do you like?"

"What?" I was taken aback by his question.

"Do you like Jack or June? Who is it?" he asked again, I can see that when he asked those questions there was a pain in his eyes.

"I..." I let out a whisper.

"You are so close to Jack and you look at June with those eyes so I can't tell! Do you want to play with my feelings that much?" he said as he rubbed his eyes. His ears were red and he was trembling. I looked down to my heels and ran over to hug him. He gasped then settled down and cleared his throat. I held onto him tighter. He was right I don't know who I like, Jack was just a friend that helped me. June is...June is someone I like? I don't know, but the only thing I know is that I don't want John to hate me and leave me.

"Hey, John," I said softly, "can...would you walk with me to school like always?"

He was shocked but answered, "Yeah, ok,"

"...And...please don't hate me," I pleaded.

"I don't, I can never hate my little lion," he said softly as he blushed and hid his face. Mimi and Emily appeared and they were looking at us. I was scared, I looked at them behind John's body and Emily showed no emotions but Mimi was smiling warmly.

"Hey," I heard June's voice. He came over and hugged the both of us, "group hug?"

"NO!" John called and pushed June away.

"You're really cold to me..." he said as he pouted.

John smacked and grinned at him. It was the same John but the slap he gave June was a little harder than to the others. June rubbed his arm and just chuckled. It was normal and I liked that.

John came over to me and whispered something. I blushed and throughout the class, I kept on repeating his words.

"I won't give up on you, even though I don't know what this feeling is called. So let this be our secret,"

I blushed and touched my red, hot face with my shivering cold hands.