You Belong With Me

Chapter 33

Tour ended too fast, but the boy’s faces were priceless during their last show. It took them awhile to realize it was over, and their emotions were a little out of check, but then they switched to what they do best; partying. 

But as my head pounds on the drive home as I stare out the window and my mom looks at me sympathetically, my mind races back to our departure, just like I expected. The feeling of loneliness already engulfs me, bringing a hollow feeling to my chest. I don’t doubt him in any way, but the thought of being away still brings automatic pain. He had changed me for the better, and I didn’t want to change back. 

“How is it possible to feel this way for someone in a span of three and a half months.” I ask my mom, and she understands it’s a rhetorical question. She pats my back and smiles at me almost out of pity, but says something that surprises me.

“It’s not hard to love someone when they so purely love you back.” 

“What do you mean?” A small grin crosses her face and I can tell she’s thinking of something someone told her. “Do you know something I don’t?” 

“Oh, no,” she scoffs, dropping the subject, but as I turn to look away, another small smile creeps across her face. 

I let myself doze off until we reach home, getting out of the car drowsily, sucking the cold air into my lungs. 

“Come here.” My mom wraps me in her arms and hugs me tightly, me doing the same. “I know you don’t want to leave.”

“You don’t either.”

“But it’s harder for you.”

I take a deep breath, wishing she would stop reminding me. “Thanks for bringing me here, even though I knew I would have come anyways. Just, thank you.”

“Of course.” We walk into the house together, her arm around mine, my feet dragging on the floor. Going into the house meant packing, packing everything. Packing meant a plane ride, a plane ride meant leaving. I wish I would stop moping about leaving, know things would be fine, but the thought is still dreadful, and no one prepares you for leaving who you love, no matter how long the time being.

I walk into my room and open my closet doors, taking a deep breath before pulling everything off the hangers into a huge heap on the floor. I pull everything out of my dresser; tshirts, sweatpants, shorts. I throw my shoes into one pile on the other side of the room and gather everything out of the bathroom onto the floor. I sort everything into piles and start putting them in suitcases, my heart breaking at the sight of the outfit I wore my first day here. Things become a mess, my emotions ranging from throwing fits of anger to not being able to see due to the tears in my eyes. If I had just kept my position from the day I came, thinking they were just five annoying, attention grabbing boys. If he hadn’t gotten to me with his straightforwardness, with his positive outlook towards everything, with his humor, with his knowledge of how to treat a girl, I wouldn’t be in this position. I hated him for it.

But I loved him.

I spent the next two hours packing, piling countless pieces of different clothing into suitcase after suitcase, coming across a piece of soft fleece that caught my attention when I felt it.  I pull it onto my lap, slightly smiling, slightly tearing up. I laugh a little to myself and hear the doorbell ring, and ring again.

“Mom! Can you get that!” I wait to hear the door open and it never does so I hop off the bed, leaping over the already packed suitcases and yet to be packed clothes. I slip the fleece over my head and pull my hair out from underneath the collar, the smell of his cologne still noticeable. The sleeves reach way past my arms and I ball them up into fists as I walk down the stairs, bringing my hands to my face.

I open the door to see Louis standing there, a shy look on his face, holding a bouquet of white daisies. 

“You’re wearing the jacket…”

I can’t say anything, I just nod my head and walk towards him. He sets the flowers on the floor and wraps his arms around me holding me tighter than he ever has been before. 

“I love you.” I whisper into his shirt, wishing this never had to end, that tomorrow didn’t have to come, that I could stay here with him.

“More than you could ever know,” he responds, tears starting to sting the corner of his eyes.