Falling Too Hard

Crimes

I ran my fingers through my now-messy hair. What can I do to fix this? Nothing, at this point. The only thing I can do is... shit. I don't know. I could lie. I could tell Mattie that I had missed him, and that I had waited for him... Or I could tell him the truth. That I had been an unfaithful slut. I am disgusting.

"Sydneyyy?" Trey's voice rang through the house.

I sighed deeply and called out to him, "Yeah, in here." I heard him roll out of my bed, and his soft footsteps on the padded floor.

"Hey." He sat down next to me, his hands in his lap.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry."

"Trey..." I couldn't hold in my tears any longer. I let out a quiet sob.

"Sydney..." Trey put his hand on my trembling back. He held it there for a moment, and then pulled me into a hug. "...I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't want to make you do this..."

Between sobs I let out a reply, "T-Trey, it's o-okay... It's my fa-fault!" That sentence brought on a whole new onslaught of tears. "It... it's all m-my fau-"

"Sydney, stop." Trey cut me off, "Please listen." His words were soft and reassuring. I tried to steady my breath between tears.

"Sydney, nothing is 'your fault'. Okay? Nothing. I know that this wasn't right, and I honestly feel so horrible for even initiating it. But, you can't blame yourself. I know you're doing that right now, but you have to stop. You- no, we made a mistake. It happened, and we can't change that. But, we can come to terms with it. Sydney..." He paused for what seemed like an eternity, and let out a deep, sad, sigh. "... I know that you don't want this. We aren't right for each other. Wanna know why? Because you have someone right for you, someone who's not me. I know that you still love him, and it's okay. That's what matters, Syd. That you still love him."

I whimpered and he rubbed my shoulder. "I-I really fucked up, Trey..." My tears were now silent as they rolled down my cheeks.

Trey squeezed me tightly and when he let go, I rested my head in his lap, and he played with my hair. After my crying had stopped, I was left with red eyes and a sniffy nose.

"Trey...?"

"Yeah, Syd?"

"Are you okay?"

"Sydney. I'm going to be okay now...."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

I let a few more moments of silence pass.

"Trey? I think you're my best friend." He didn't reply immediately, just kept stroking my hair. Before I could find out if he did have a reply for me, I fell asleep right there in his lap.