Falling Too Hard

Confusion

It was warm outside, for once. I loved the warm weather, being able to wear shorts and sandals. I wished I could go back to the beach with Mattie. Maybe Trey will take me.

Wait.

Trey?

Why would I want Trey to take me?

What the hell is wrong with me...

I need to think about Mattie. I mean, he's my boyfriend. Just because he's in the hospital, doesn't mean hes gone forever. I love Mattie, I have for so long. So what is Trey doing in my thoughts?

I shake my head, as if to clear my thoughts. I focus on the click of my shoes on the cement of the sidewalk as I make my way down the avenue of the hospital. A warm breeze washes over my skin, carrying the scent of spring. As I cross the street, I find myself staring at a young girl, she could only be eleven or twelve, carrying a heavy backpack. She reminded me of myself. We looked nothing alike, she was blond, short and a little chubby, where I was tall, skinny, and had creamy skin. Still, when I was that age, I would walk around with my backpack and a coffee after school.

I sighed. That was a long time ago. I would never get those times back.

I arrived at the hospital and signed in at the front desk. Mattie's room was on the ninth floor, overlooking the city. I would often just sit by the window if Mattie was asleep when I arrived.

I stepped into his room and was greeted by the familiar aroma of cinnamon. Mattie had smelled like that for as long as I can remember. It was so comforting to me to inhale his scent.

I pushed back the curtain that divided the room to see him sitting up.

"Hi."

He turned and smiled.

"Hey there, beautiful."

"Oh, shut up." I giggled.

I dropped my backpack in the corner of the room, kicked off my shoes, and sat in the comfy chair next to his bed.

"Sorry I'm late, I was getting coffee and lost track of time."

"You aren't late. It's a miracle you even still come to see me!"

"I care, thats all."

He cracked a grin. Even in this lonely room, he lit up the atmosphere.

"That's all?"

"Yep. Plus, you would miss me too much if I didn't come everyday." I said with a smirk.

He threw his head back in laughter.

"Yeah, I would."

He grabbed my hand. He felt cold, but I didn't mind. How could I? It was his hand in mine, I couldn't have asked for anything better.

Suddenly, there was movement outside the open door. I dropped Mattie's hand and leaned out of the chair.

He was right there. Trey, outside the door, just standing there against the wall.

"Baby," I said to Mattie, still looking outside, "I'm gonna go to the ladies, okay?" I pushed myself up, straightened my shirt, and walked out.

I made sure to close the door behind me.

"Trey!" Trey looked up and gave me a big smile.

"Sydney, hey!"

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming today...? We could have... I don't know... Walked together or something."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Next time, okay?"

His blue eyes were practically the color of ice, and yet, they made me feel very safe. His stare was comforting.

"Okay, that's cool."

"Sydney?"

"Yeah?"

"You look really pretty."

"Oh!"

He laughed and said, "What?"

"I just... didn't expect you to say that."

"You look pretty! What else am I supposed to say? I mean, you just look so relaxed, it makes me relaxed too." He smiled.

"Relaxed...?"

I guess you could say I look relaxed. I was wearing a reddish brown tank top with a black oversized sweater, and jean shorts. I also had on simple red Converse. I always liked Converse. My hair was let down in its mass of curls, and I wore only eyeliner.

"Yeah."

"...Okay. Listen, I have to get back to Mattie, but find me at school." I turned around and headed back. The last thing I heard before I shut the door was Trey saying,

"Goodbye, beautiful."

~*~

The next day at school, trey bounded up to my locker and gave me a huge hug.

"Sydney!"

"Trey, hey! Sorry we didn't get to really talk at the hospital."

"Its cool. Hey, at lunch, wanna go to Starbucks and eat on the plaza?"

"Sure! I don't want to eat the shit they serve here for another day."

"Okay, meet me on the plaza before lunch."

"Got it. See you then!"

He gave a little wave and walked towards the stairwell. My head was swimming. Were we... Trey and I... Going to lunch together?

...Yes.

Classes whizzed by, and by third period, I couldn't wait until lunch. It was seventh period out of eight, so second to last. On this day, my last period is a free period.

In sixth period, I was on the edge of my seat, just waiting for the bell to ring. When it finally did, I jumped out of my seat, grabbed my purse, and ran downstairs. I burst through the doors of my school on to the plaza to see Trey sitting on a bench, staring into the distance.

"Trey!" I couldn't hide the excitement in my voice. My entire body was quivering. He turned his head and flashed a dazzling smile.

"Syd."

"When did you start calling me Syd?" I laughed.

"Just now. Come on, lets go."

The walk was very short, and when we got there, Trey offered to let me sit while he ordered. When he came back with a ice coffee and a vanilla latte, we started talking.

"So how is your mom?"

"She's doing great! The doctors say the treatment is working fine on her, and if they keep her through summer, she should be healthy!"

"I'm glad." I said. I really was. He loved his mom.

"Me too." He said with a smile, "How about Mattie?"

"He's okay. Two more surgeries and he's out!"

"Awesome!"

"Yeah."

"Sydney?

"Trey?"

"You look pretty again."

I blushed and giggled.

"You really should stop that, a girl could get the wrong idea."

He leaned back in his chair with a grin.

"Stop!"

His smile widened, "I'm not doing anything."

I blushed again.

After that moment, we kept on talking. He told me his last period was also free, so we both just skipped it and talked.

"Hey, Trey?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna... stay here, not go to the hospital?"

"Sure." He smiled.

In an empty room, Mattie sat alone in his bed.