Falling Too Hard

Meeting

About 15 minutes later I woke up in my bed. I didn't fall asleep here, did Trey bring me in? I got up and threw on jeans and a retro t-shirt and looked around the apartment. It was silent. I could hear my own breathing, which I didn't like. As I walked from room to room, I made sure to turn on all the lights. There was no sign of Trey until I got to the front door. I white slip of paper was attached to it with tape. It was from Trey:

'Sydney,

Sorry, but I didn't want to be a distraction to you when you woke up. I took all my stuff, and if you need me, call me please. Good luck with... everything.

-Trey'

I gently plucked the note from the door and threw it in the trash. I was going to see Mattie in 40 minutes, and I wanted to at least look nice. I trudged back to my room and threw open my closet doors. I picked out a black jacket to go over my gray shirt, which did look nice. After inspecting myself in the mirror, I brushed on some mascara and a little bit of highlighter on my brow bone. 10 minutes passed and I was ready to go. I pulled on some brown boots and grabbed my phone. It takes a while to get to the waffle cart where we were going to meet, so Its good that I have 30 minutes.

The walk to the subway seemed endless, and when I finally got on the train, I was already very nervous. I'm going to tell him the truth now before this can get worse. I didn't know how he would handle this, and honestly, I was scared to find out. I had never been in this kind of situation before. I had never done something... like this. When I arrived at my station I gathered my wits on the platform. I would be fine. We would be fine. We will work this out.

Stepping out into the warm air, I could see Mattie sitting at a table in the small section near the cart across the street. He was grinning into his coffee. I waited until the cars between us passed and ran over to him.

"Hi." His head whipped up to look at me, and before i could say anything else, he stood and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Sydney..." He sighed. "It feels like its been forever."

"Yeah, it really does." He let go of me and let me sit down. 

"So... what have you been doing? What have I missed?"

"Well, I'm getting much better grades and... Oh my mom says hi. Also, Tori does too."

"Oh wow, really i haven't seen them in forever."

"Yeah, they did miss you."

"More than you did?"

I laughed, momentarily forgetting my problem. "I don't think I'd go that far."

"Okay, good." He cracked a grin. "What have you been doing?"

"Nothing much, really. I..." This was it. I had to tell him. "Mattie-"

"Wait. Before you say anything, I need to ask you something." His tone was more serious all of a sudden, "Why did you stop visiting me at the hospital?"

"Oh... Oh god Mattie." I let my head rest in my hands.

"What? What is it?" He sounded worried.

"Mattie..." My voice dropped to a whisper, "Mattie, I slept with someone."

"What? Sydney I can't hear-"

"Mattie, I slept with someone." 

He sat there, eyes wide with shock.

"Are you... are you serious?"

I nodded. I couldn't look him in the eye, though.

"Sydney... How- How could you do that?" I could hear the hurt in his voice. I could also hear the anger.

"I'm-I'm so sorry Mattie. It happened once and I was lonely and at the time it made sense, I-"

Mattie cut me off, "Who was it?"

"Wh-What?"

"Who was it?!"

"Trey."

"Why?" I could tell he was trying very hard to contain his anger.

"He came over, and his mom- his mom had just passed on, and I felt sorry-"

"You had pity sex with him? Really Sydney?"

"It's not like that! Mattie-"

"No. I don't wanna hear it." He got up out of his chair and looked at my with an icy glare. "I don't want to talk to you right now Sydney. Also..." He hesitated for a moment, as if wondering if what he was about to say was a good idea. "... If I see that kid again, Im going to break his legs."

It was my turn to be shocked. Mattie walked away from the table, leaving me alone.

What have I done?