A Different Divergent: A Better Tomorrow

~seven~

Chapter 7

When I woke up this morning, I had a killer headache. I even took a couple acetaminophen tablets trying to get some relief, but it only took it from throbbing to a dull ache. Knowing what I know now, I wish the medicine would have taken care of the pain fully because I have a feeling that witnessing three fear landscapes is going to bring it back full force. In past years, Lauren's fear landscape has been used for the initiate's practice run but since she's no longer an instructor, it's unethical to use her fears, so Uriah, Christina, Tobias, and I have to have our fear landscapes mapped. Since I'm pregnant, Tobias called Isobel for her okay but she won't let me take the serum so I'm stuck living three other people's fears. This is something I didn't want to do with anyone other than my husband but I'll step up and just do it.

I'm still not sure why Tobias needs to go through his fear landscape. He has at most five fears, and that number is entirely too low to be used. He joked that we could add the number of our fears together and still have less than the number of initiates. My suspicion is that he just wants to see if there have been any changes so I don't argue with him. I will admit, I'm secretly hoping that he's Four again. I don't like knowing that I've gotten into his head and caused his greatest fear.

My mind drifts over the past couple days while we get the fear landscape room ready for Uriah and Christina who should arrive at any moment. My lunch with Isobel was so much fun. We talked for nearly three hours throughout the meal and beyond, learning about each other. We really have a lot in common. She was born in Candor and has a brother who is one year older. Her husband who is two years older was born in Erudite. They met and fell in love during his final year of upper levels when he was 16 and she was 14. He always wanted to be a doctor so he knew he didn't want to leave his faction so she decided to join his. It was a very long wait for them both until her choosing day. They married three years to the day later. Her parents and brother are still in Candor, and she sees them on a quite regular basis because her father and brother both are treated at the clinic in town for diabetes. She talked a lot about her husband, Carter, and her 4-year-old boys, Jace and Alec. I can't wait to meet them. She showed me their pictures, and the twins look exactly like their father, curly blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. They're very cute. I asked if she thought they would ever have any more kids, and she blushed before telling me that she's nearly three months along and hoping for a girl to complete their family. We set up a double date for a couple of weeks after initiation begins while eating tiramisu and drinking coffee. Carter starts his vacation on the 15th so we plan on meeting here at the Italian restaurant on the 16th.

Before I left for home, I asked Isobel why she had the extra tests done the day before, and she told me that my steadily rising blood pressure has her troubled and that it's better to be safe than sorry. Well, I couldn't help myself and immediately started to fret about my baby but she reassured me and told me that it was her job to be concerned and that it was my job to keep the baby safe and healthy. She assured me that if there was anything to truly be worried about that I would be the first to know but so far all the results she's looked at have been within the normal range, which is good. I have to say, I'm trying really hard not to be apprehensive because I know too much stress isn't good for Peanut but it's really hard to know there's a potential problem and that there's nothing I can do about it.

Yesterday, Tobias and I had our first marriage counseling session with the psychiatrist recommended by Dr. Wilson. The first thing Dr. Amelia Shaw did was give us a questionnaire about the state of our marriage. After grading them, she told us that she didn't quite understand why we were seeking counseling. In her opinion, even though our relationship is young, it is very strong. We explained to her that we've had an extremely rough year. Tobias talked about Marcus' lies about his mother; learning his mother was still alive and had abandoned him; learning about the existence of three additional younger siblings; finding out where Laurel was; Evelyn's death; the custody battle; and Tessa and Tyler's adoptions. I talked about Cameron Wright's deception on New Year's Eve and the attempted poisoning; the unplanned pregnancy; the rushed wedding; the attempted assault in the training room; the kidnapping, memory serum administration, forced wedding, and rape; and getting shot. After we were ensured complete discretion, together we talked about stopping the war on Abnegation; becoming Dauntless leaders; the mess with the potential Divergent lists, although we didn't reveal that we both are in fact Divergent; the trouble with Maria, Erin, and Dr. Young in Dauntless; the mass shooting at the council meeting; Caleb and Dad's injuries; and Mom's kidnapping. After this massive list, Dr. Shaw leaned back in her chair, took a deep breath, and told us that we would definitely benefit from a few couples sessions but she thought that individual appointments would be better suited for us but we both politely declined. We will do anything for each other and our family so we're okay with discussing our shared problems and divulging secrets but neither one of us is comfortable with one-on-one sessions and talking only about ourselves. She asked us questions about a wide variety of topics ranging from our parenting style to our sex life for the remainder of our time together. When she brought up Peter, the kidnapping, wedding, and assault, I tensed up. She asked if it changed our relationship, and Tobias automatically said no but after thinking carefully about her question, I said that it did. Of course, I backpedaled a bit when I realized I hurt Tobias with my answer and let him and Dr. Shaw both know that dealing with the aftermath of that experience strengthened our bond and has given us an even better relationship. Before we left, she gave us a couple pamphlets on communication styles that she wants us to read before our next appointment in one month. We agreed to have six additional visits over the next six months since our situation isn't dire.