A Different Divergent: A Better Tomorrow

~sixty-eight~

Chapter 68

Peanut's soft mewling draws me from my nap, and I stumble out of bed and stagger over to her bassinet. I learned something very valuable shortly after we brought her home from the hospital, I sleep when she does during the day so that I can be coherent in the evening when Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa are home. I tried to nap a couple times a day at first but then I was exhausted all the time. I actually feel more like my old self with this schedule.

"Are you hungry again so soon, Peanut?" I ask her as I carefully lift her into my arms and kiss her forehead. I expect her to calm down some but she doesn't. I glance at the clock on my bedside table and see that it's too early. Instead of wanting nursed every two hours like clockwork, it's now every two-and-a-half hours during the day and closer to three hours at night, and she looks like it. My tiny girl isn't so tiny anymore. She's gained 1 pound 6 ounces since she was born and now weighs in at a whopping 6½ pounds but I swear she isn't any taller, maybe ½ an inch at the most. Tobias and I think she's going to be short like her mommy but who knows, maybe one day she'll have a growth spurt. I carry her into the nursery and gently lay her on the changing table then unswaddle her from the lightweight blanket. "Whew! Now I know what woke you. I can smell it, you little stinker." I quickly change her dirty diaper then lovingly gaze down at her. She seems very content to be able to stretch her little arms and legs out right now so I decide to forgo the swaddle.

"Your mommy is very hungry, Peanut," I say after my stomach growls loudly. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast early this morning. "What do you say I make myself some lunch then you and I can lounge around on the roof and get some much-needed fresh air?" I grab the hands-free sling carrier from the changing table drawer. I swear that it's become my new best friend. I can never thank Christina enough for introducing me to it. It's very handy. It enables me to keep the baby close so we can bond but have my hands free to do other things. It's made my life so much easier, and I'm confident that she loves it just as much as I do. She's very content when I keep her close and has the tendency to whine if she's in the bassinet too long.

I put the stretchy black material across my body then pick Peanut back up, kiss her cheek, and carefully position her against my chest with her head resting on my breast. Once she's situated, I head downstairs. What a difference a month has made. I'm not up for running a marathon or taking on a competitor in the training room but I can get in and out of bed or a chair on my own, maneuver a flight of stairs without experiencing agonizing pain with every single step, and bend over without feeling like my insides are going to spill out of my incision all over the floor.

I make myself a hot turkey sandwich with herb mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry-orange relish, cheesy green bean casserole, and apple walnut salad, which were leftovers from Sunday's dinner Tobias made while my parents visited us. It's the first time I saw them since I left the hospital. They both were very happy to see the kids and, of course, doted on them. They were cordial with Tobias and me but I could feel the tension between them. It was very hard to sit back and let it happen without demanding an explanation but I honored my mother's wishes and backed off ... for now but it really pained me to see them that way. I wish she would just talk to me and tell me what's going on. It's frustrating to know that they love each other very much and have to go through this on their own.

I carry the plate full of hot food and a bottle of icy water up to our rooftop deck and sit down at our new family-size rattan and glass table that sits beneath the sizeable trellis off the large glass-walled room. The unseasonably cool weather that plagued the city a month ago has disappeared, turning into a beautiful, very mild fall. The warm breeze lifts my hair across my face and into my mouth so I gather it in a low ponytail at the nape of my neck and secure it with the colorful elastic band I put in my pocket this morning. I dig in to the scrumptious lunch sitting before me and silently give thanks that my husband is such a wonderful cook. Periodically, throughout the meal, I check on Peanut but she's dozing peacefully. After I finish, I push my plate away from me with a sigh and slip out of my shoes. I lift my feet up onto the chair next to me and stare out at the city skyline.