A Different Divergent: A Better Tomorrow

~ten~

Chapter 10

I lie down on the couch with a wet washcloth over my eyes in an attempt to rid myself of this throbbing headache. I'm truly surprised the sex Tobias and I had earlier didn't help but I guess the humiliation of being caught on camera actually made it worse. I fall into a peaceful sleep for about half-an-hour and finally wake feeling refreshed and pain free. I glance at the clock on the wall and know that Tobias will be leaving to pick the kids up from daycare soon, so if I leave right now, I'll be able to join him. I'm giddy at the thought of seeing my babies. It's been such a long, stressful day. They are sure to put a smile on my face.

It doesn't take me very long to make my way back to the fear landscape room. I notice that I have a trepidation I've never felt about entering this room but Tobias and I have talked about his fear landscape and how it makes us both feel enough to last a lifetime so I shrug off the uneasy feeling. I try the doorknob but find it locked. He must be in his office. I go back down the hallway I just came from and go straight to his office. I don't bother to knock, I just let myself in. He's so absorbed in whatever it is he's doing, he doesn't even notice my arrival. I lean back against the door and watch him for a time then decide to sit on the couch. When the leather groans at my weight, he looks up startled.

"Hey," he says, wide eyed. "How long have you been here?"

"A few minutes," I say.

"You look like you're feeling better," he says, running his eyes over my body.

"I took a quick nap, and it helped," I say. "What are you doing?"

"Entering the data from today's fear landscapes into the mapping program. I think we might use some fears from each of us instead of just one persons. It only seems fair to me."

"That does sound like a good idea," I say. "Can I see what you're doing?"

"Sure," he says. "Come here." I cross to his desk, and he pulls me down onto his lap. He puts his head on my shoulder and wraps his arms around me. "I'm taking all the data from today and entering it into our digital personnel files. It's mundane work but necessary."

"I could do that for you," I say turning my head to meet his steady, intense gaze. He gives me a quick peck and rubs my belly lovingly.

"That isn't necessary but if you really want something to do, you could file these," he says, leaning us forward then handing me a manila file folder. I get off his lap and flip through its contents. Its paper copies of the data he retrieved from the fear landscape computer and some miscellaneous data and notes. I read over Christina' and Uriah's fears as I'm filing them away in their personnel records. It seems Christina is afraid of needles, thunder and lightning, being attacked by a dog, large bodies of water, moths, exposure, blood, falling into the chasm, a train crash, becoming factionless, being a bad mother, losing Will, and her greatest fear is Liam dying. Uriah is afraid of being out of control, the factionless, worthlessness, running out of cake, dying, getting trapped by an earthquake, his family's death, commitment, and his greatest fear is rejection. Commitment and rejection both? How strange.

"Should you be reading those?" he asks with a grin on his face, staring at me. I blush. He once told me that it was a great responsibility being privy to others greatest fears. Now I feel like I was snooping.

"Uh ... I ... oh," I stutter, slamming the file folder shut.

"I was kidding, Tris," he says. "You can look at them." He gives me an apologetic smile for flustering me.

"Oh," I say smiling back at him. He draws me back onto his lap after I finish my filing. I relax in his arms. There's really no place I'd rather be. "Let me ask you something. How do you know Uriah is scared of being out of control? How does that present itself? I'm picturing him running around like a chicken that just lost its head." He wraps his arms around me and laughs rather loudly in my ear. "So glad I amuse you."