A Different Divergent: A Better Tomorrow

~eight~

Chapter 8

I take a deep breath of my own and reach over and hit the faded blue record button on the fear landscape computer and see the red light turn green. Good it's working. I'm nervous, one, because I've never done this before, and Tobias' wellbeing has been left in my inexperienced hands and, two, I have to live his fear landscape for the second time, and I'm afraid of what I'll see. I watch him standing in the next room on one of the three massive monitors in front of me when everything shifts.

How strange. It's like I'm seeing his innermost thoughts playing out in my mind but I can still make out the computer screens in front of me. It's quite disorienting. I have to make myself concentrate. It's my job to see to it that nothing physically happens to Tobias. He no longer thinks he's standing inside the fear landscape room here in the compound. His mind has him frozen in fear 100 stories up near the edge of the roof of the Hancock Building, wind whipping violently around him. I momentarily wonder how he knows what the top of the skyscraper looks like. He's terrified of heights, and I'm confident he's never been up there. I shake the distracting thought off as I watch him pull himself together and rush toward the edge of the building and jump off. Just before he hits the ground, I see the center display flashing green, and the scene fades away, leaving him kneeling in a completely black space with his head down, trying to catch his breath.

Tobias slowly gets to his feet, obviously knowing what comes next, and I witness a cube appear out of nowhere and form around him, hugging the contours of his body. Panic quickly overtakes him, and he forcefully pushes on the walls to no avail. They don't budge. He looks around with an air of desperation on his face. Oh, my poor Tobias. He appears to be thoroughly freaking out right now, like he's in actual physical pain, and then I realize something. I may be watching his fears in my mind but I'm not feeling the same terror that I know he's experiencing at this moment. This is so strange. I watch as he shrinks down, wraps his arms around his knees, and the box contracts with him. He closes his eyes, and I see his heart rate slowly but steadily lower until the screen flashes green, and the box disappears.

"Two down, Tobias," I say, not realizing I'm speaking out loud. "Two more to go, baby. You got this." Hopefully. I'm shocked when the scene morphs into our apartment, and I witness me and Tobias laughing, talking, and fixing a meal in the kitchen. I examine his face and, although he looks like he's happy in the moment, I know him well enough to know that he's anxious about what's coming up next. About that time, a beautiful young girl about 12 or 13 with nearly black shoulder length curls, captivating light bluish gray eyes, and dimples I would know anywhere comes running down the stairs followed closely by a slightly older young man dressed head to toe in Dauntless black who looks nearly the spitting image of my husband with the exception of possessing my eyes. I choke back tears. It's Tyler and Tessa but as teenagers. I would recognize them anywhere. When they see Tobias they both stop in their tracks with a look on their face I never want to see again. They look terrified of their own father. I find myself on the edge of my seat waiting to see how this plays out even though he's already told me how he deals with this fear.

"W-we're s-sorry, D-Daddy," Tessa stammers, eyes wide with fear. "We w-won't run d-down the stairs a-again."

"Please don't use the belt," Tyler whimpers, suddenly looking years younger. At his son's words, I see Tobias flinch and glance toward the wall of windows, and I see it. The reflection staring hatefully back at him is Marcus, not himself. It's surreal seeing what he sees.

"I am so sorry that I ever hurt either one of you," I hear him whisper not only in my mind but over the monitor. He closes his tear-filled, pained eyes and begins deep breathing exercises to get his heart rate down, waiting for this fear to pass. I look at simulation me. I'm just standing there. I don't look content or distraught. I don't look concerned or upset. I look ... indifferent. I know this isn't about me but does he honestly think I would just idly stand by and let him abuse my children?