A Different Divergent: A Better Tomorrow

~twenty-one~

Chapter 21

Tessa has me up at 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. sharp wanting to eat. She doesn't seem cranky, just not quite her content self. I hope this isn't an indication of what my day is going to be like, feeding her every three hours. I'll have to miss some of the initiate jumps or giving the transfers the tour. I imagine if I talk to Tobias, I could bow out of today but the truth is I don't want to. I've been looking forward to this day since I chose to stand beside Four and train the transfers, and this year it's with Dauntless' old rules in play. There will be no cuts unless an initiate displays the kind of behavior we're trying to eliminate in Dauntless as a whole. If we'd have been in charge last year, Peter and Drew would have been factionless and Edward and Myra would be Dauntless members now. All fights will be monitored closely for unnecessary brutality, and initiates can concede if and when they see fit. Teamwork will be a part of the training. Capture the flag will be used as a larger part of the first stage rankings, and this year we're adding another team building exercise, basic elimination paintball, to the mix. Tobias and I got together with all our friends a couple weeks ago at a park near the Pier and had an excellent time. It was very messy but really fun.

I pamper myself this morning with a long, leisurely, hot shower instead of one of my trademark two minute ones. It feels nice to take my time and not rush through the process. When I finish, I carefully dry and then style each strand of hair until it's laying perfectly against my head. With my towel wrapped tightly around my naked body, I head into my bedroom. I put on a black lace nursing bra and matching black lace maternity boy shorts then open my closet and start sorting through the numerous items trying to decide on what I want to wear. I finally pick out a simple pair of black acid wash boot cut maternity jeans, a form fitting black maternity/nursing tank top with a sheer overlay that has a high boat neck, and a pair of black ankle boots with a 2-inch heel.

I stand in front of full length mirror taking in my appearance. There's so much going through my mind right now. Am I tough enough? Do I have what it takes? Will they respect me? Can I make a difference? Should I be doing this? As the hopeless feelings start to envelope and overwhelm me, I notice Tobias casually leaning up against the doorjamb staring at me.

"Hi," I say, meeting his blue eyes in the mirror.

"Hello, beautiful," he says. "Whatcha doing?"

"I was thinking about maybe getting some streaks in my hair, blue or purple perhaps," I say playing with the fringe, which is sexily hanging over my left eye. "I want to look as tough, as Dauntless, as I can for the initiates. Christina has some washable chalk so they wouldn't be permanent."

"You look tough as nails, Tris," he says, his expression deadly serious.

"Yeah, me and my big belly," I grumble under my breath but I can tell he hears me by the look on his face. He saunters over to me, and I have the sudden urge to rip his clothes off and take him right here on the bedroom floor in front of my closet. He puts both hands on my pregnant belly and leans down and kisses it.

"I love this belly," he whispers, his voice full of reverent wonder. "That's our little peanut in there." He kisses it again, and I leisurely run my fingers through his hair.

"That's not a very Four thing to say," I mutter with a smirk and a deep chuckle escapes from the back of his throat. He straightens up and pulls me into his embrace. His mouth finds mine, and his kiss is searching, sizzling. When he pulls away, I'm breathless and in a daze.

"I doubt you were just contemplating your hairstyle," he roughly says. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"I'm nervous about today," I finally say after a silent moment. "I'm not sure I have it in me to be tough like you. I've tried numerous times in the past but no one took me seriously. I'm afraid the initiates will walk all over me." He takes my hand and leads me to the bed where we sit down.