A Different Divergent: A Better Tomorrow

~ninety-eight~

Chapter 98

I pause after I walk into the trauma procedure room where Tobias is lying on the gurney, resting. I breathe deeply, trying to control the debilitating ache in my chest. He's usually so strong, vibrant, and full of life but now he's so pale and still. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting but he just looks like he's sleeping. There are no visible injuries except for the redness and swelling on the left side of his neck where Drew injected the debilitating serum he's fighting. He does have an IV in the back of his left hand pumping fluids into his body, a blood pressure cuff attached to the same arm, and familiar looking electrodes attached to his bare chest indicating that it's more than a peaceful slumber.

I force my legs to carry me forward to his side. I pick up his right hand, holding it tightly between my own. Unfortunately, the skin on skin contact does nothing to calm me like it normally does. I have so many things to say to him but I can't talk right now because of the crushing emotions robbing me of my voice. I've never felt such fear, hatred, despondency, and loneliness in my entire life. The depth of each emotion is frightening in itself but when they're combined, the feeling is nearly suffocating. I try to hold back the wracking sobs but I can't, so I bury my head against his neck and let the pent up emotions I've felt since his assault flow out of me. I don't know how long I cry but when I pull back, I feel drained emotionally as well as physically.

"Oh, Tobias," I murmur. "You've got to wake up, baby. You can't leave me. I need you so much. The kids need you. Dauntless needs you. I can't make it in this life without you; you're my rock. You're my everything. I need you to come back to me. We have so much left to do, so much life left to live. You can't leave me." I press my lips against his ear in hopes that I can somehow break through the simulation and make him realize that whatever he is experiencing in his head isn't real. "I love you so much, Tobias Eaton. Can you hear me? I don't know what kind of simulation they put you under but it's not real, baby. You're in your head. I'm right here. The kids are here. All your friends were here until I sent them home for the night. Even my mom and dad are here. We all love you very much and want you to wake up." I think back to the last fear landscape he went through and his greatest fear. A strangled sob escapes my lips as a shiver moves through my body. "It's not real. I'm not dead, baby. The kids aren't dead. We're here, Tobias. You can't jump into the chasm. I promise you, we're here. Just wake up, please." I press my lips to his while I cup his face between my trembling fingers. "Please come back to me." I climb into bed beside him and wrap my arms around him, holding him tightly, doing my best to comfort him, comfort myself. I continue you talk to him like he's awake and listening to every word I say.

Suddenly his EKG starts acting erratically, and his heart rate skyrockets. I jump out of the bed and stare down at him, my hands hovering over him, wanting to help him get through this. Did I accidentally loosen one of the electrodes? It doesn't look like it. He doesn't look any different either but his pulse is higher than I've ever seen a person's. Zander comes bursting through the doors several minutes later even though in reality I'm sure it is only seconds followed by a number of his staff members. He barks for me to leave the room, and after arguing with him and losing, I stumble out the doors and across the hallway into the large room where my family is waiting, which is getting smaller by the second.

"What's going on?" Dad asks. "We heard a commotion."

"I'm not sure," I say. I can't believe how flat and lifeless my voice sounds. "I was talking to Tobias, trying to get him to snap out of the simulation, and his heart rate and blood pressure went through the roof. Zander kicked me out."

"You know doctors don't like working on patients with their loved ones in the room," Mom softly says, placing her hand comfortingly on my shoulder.