A Different Divergent: A Better Tomorrow

~one-hundred and seven~

Chapter 107

As I roll over and groan, my hand instinctively reaches out for Tobias only to find cold, empty sheets beside me. I lift my heavy head from my hot, flat pillow and squint trying to adjust my eyes to the surrounding darkness and look for my missing husband but he's nowhere to be found. I carefully listen to the baby monitor that's sitting on my nightstand thinking he may be checking on Tessa or Teagan but I only hear the steady breathing of their peaceful slumber. I roll back over and stretch my stiff, tired muscles then sit up. Where are you, my love? Maybe Tyler woke him up and I didn't hear. I slip my legs over the edge of bed and slide my feet to the floor then make my way to my son's room.

I can't believe that it's Christmas Day already. Tyler is so eager for Santa Claus to come that he didn't want to go to bed last night. He was bouncing off the walls with excitement and anticipation. Tobias and I never thought he would go to sleep but fatigue soon won out, and we were able to get him down nearly an hour-and-a-half past his bedtime. This is, after all, his very first Christmas along with his sisters, so his father and I have tried to make the entire holiday season a memorable one for him. We decorated our entire apartment until it looked like a winter wonderland. We wrapped live greenery and twinkle lights around every stair railing; hung five large, matching red and white stockings each adorned with our names in a whimsical design from the fireplace mantle; and decorated a nearly seven foot Christmas tree that sits in the corner of our living room by the windows. I'll never forget the way his eyes lit up when we turned the multicolored twinkling lights on for the first time. I imagine they looked just like mine did last year. He was beyond mesmerized. I thought he was actually going to cry. He also helped me shop for the presents he's giving his daddy and sisters later this morning, and he even helped me wrap them. We baked sugar cookies for all our friends, which was quite an experience. After mixing them, rolling them, cutting out various shapes like trees and wreaths, and then frosting them, he was covered head to toe in a dusting of flour, sticky multicolored frostings, and red and green sprinkles. The minute we finished, he shoved two cookies in his mouth then begged to repeat the entire process again the very next day. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight and his exuberance. I tiptoe into his room and find him fast asleep in the middle of his big boy bed, a delighted expression on his face. I'm surprised he's sleeping so well.

Maybe Tobias is in the nursery after all, so I head back toward our bedroom and into the girls' room but it, too, is empty save Tessa and Teagan. I take a moment to check on my girls. I peer down at Tessa and a mixture of joy and heartbreak courses through me. She's growing sofast. I can't believe that she's 9 months old already. She crawls all over the place, getting into everything, and just two days ago, she pulled herself up to the couch and stood all by herself. I picked her up, holding her tightly against my chest and cried like a blubbering baby. She thought I was insane but gave me kisses to make me feel better and they did their job. I kiss my fingers and gently run them over her soft, dark curls then move to Teagan's crib. She's the exact opposite of Tessa with her blonde waves and dark blue eyes. She also looks like my mini-me while her sister is the spitting image of Tobias. But my little peanut isn't so little anymore. She's getting so big. In the past two-and-a-half months she's caught up to where she should be if she hadn't been a preemie. I totally freaked out when she gained her birth weight last month but Zander told me she's perfectly healthy and actually still measuring small even though she doesn't look like it. I run my hand over her little head then head out of the room.

I descend the stairs wondering what has Tobias up in the middle of the night. I hope it's not my health. I would often find him pacing at the end of our bed, watching me sleep after I was finally released from the infirmary. Thankfully, he stopped doing that a couple weeks ago. I think he was worried I would take another turn for the worse. I was in the infirmary under close supervision by Zander for 12 additional days after the interrogations because I got a nasty infection in my hip where the bitch stabbed me. One day we were discussing me going home, and the next I spiked nearly a 103 degree fever and felt like death warmed over. There were moments I thought I wasn't going to make it. It actually took longer for me to recover from the infection than the original injuries but I have completely recovered. He doesn't have to worry about me. When I step into the kitchen, I see that it, too, is empty and for the first time since waking, my anxiety level raises.