A Different Divergent: A Better Tomorrow

~eleven~

Chapter 11

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy," Tyler quietly says, patting my cheek. I slowly pry open my heavy eyelids and find my 2-year-old's gloomy bluish-gray eyes looking at me expectantly.

"What is it, buddy?" I whisper, sleep still thick in my gravelly voice. I glance at the alarm clock on Tobias' nightstand and see that it's not quite 5 a.m., and I groan inwardly.

"I had bad dweam," he whines, a deep-set frown on his little face. "Sleep with you. Peas!" Oh, my poor boy.

"Of course," I say, lifting the new lightweight sky blue blanket. It's too hot for the quilt this time of year. "Come here." He scales the side of the bed and snuggles into my chest. I smooth the blanket around us and hold him close, kissing his head comfortingly. "Mommy loves you. Go back to sleep, my big boy. You're safe now." It doesn't take Tyler long to fall back to sleep. I gently caress his hair and stare into his now peacefully slumbering face. It's such a miracle that he looks like Tobias instead of Ethan, not that that would have made me love him any less. I glide my fingertips down his cheek and wonder what haunts his dreams. I've tried to get answers before but he thankfully doesn't remember any details. He just wakes up feeling scared and comes seeking comfort from me or Tobias. Thank, God, the nightmares don't happen very often or it would kill me.

I try to go back to sleep but my mind drifts to all the things we have to do over the next couple days. I'm sure we'll have a great time at the Candor or Dauntless party tonight ... if we make it. We have Evelyn's memorial and the scattering of her ashes at the Navy Pier later today. Tobias has been pretty apathetic about it but I think he's just hiding his pain. If it's too emotional for him, we'll just have to bow out of the party. The kids are spending the night with Mom and Dad again tonight so we have to drive to Abnegation, and then Tobias and I are meeting up with Caleb, Cara, Mom, Dad, and the kids at the park tomorrow for a barbeque and family time. It's going to be the last time we can really get together and spend some quality time before initiation starts on Monday.

I hear Tessa's peaceful cooing turn into fussing over the baby monitor and gently move Tyler until he is snuggled up against his father. I drape Tobias' arm protectively over his son and kiss both their slumbering faces. I manage to get out of bed without waking either of them and go into the nursery. I pick Tessa up, and she's wet through her diaper and sleeper and soaked the sheet.

"Did you have a bad night, little one? I'm surprised you're not screaming your head off," I say as I strip her out of her soiled sleeper and dirty diaper. I wash her with wipes and put a clean diaper on then sit us the rocking chair. She immediately lets me know that she's hungry so I put her to my breast. "I love you, Tessa Beatrice. Eat, my beautiful baby girl. I sure am sorry that I fell asleep while I was feeding you last night. Mommy was physically and emotionally drained but you got to spend some quality time with Daddy. I bet you both liked that." She watches me as she nurses, never taking her eyes off mine. I smile and talk to her the entire time, occasionally stroking her soft curls. There have been times over the past 11 weeks that I wondered if she knows who I am but I'm now confident in our bond. She knows I'm her mommy. "Mommy and Daddy are going to say goodbye to Mommy Evelyn today. I may not have always gotten along with her very well but I'll always be grateful to her because she gave me three of the most precious gifts. She gave me your daddy, Tyler, and you." Movement catches my eye, and I look up to find Tobias leaning against the doorjamb, a look of strong love in his bright eyes.

"Good morning," he says.

"Good morning," I reply.

"There's a stowaway in our bed," he says with a smile, and I chuckle.

"He had a bad dream so I let him in bed just before 5 a.m. this morning. He fell back to sleep rather quickly after we cuddled for a bit," I say. "Hey, will you change the crib sheets for me please? She was soaked when I picked her up." He saunters across the small room and strips the mattress. He looks around and sighs. "What?"