KUNG DI RIN
T A Y O S A H U L I ,
AAWATIN BA ANG PUSONG KO
I B I G I N K A ?
_
IF IT'S NOT US
I N T H E E N D,
WILL I FORCE MY HEART
T O L O V E Y O U A G A I N ?
[Feb 25, 2017 1:35 am]
Grey glanced at the ceiling that was littered with those cheap 1 dollar glow-in-stick stars. He felt the same empty stab he felt days before.
"I need a break"
A break? He closed his eyes and tried to count to ten. He remembered just looking at Midnight and uttering the words he never wanted to ever say.
"Okay."
Why didn't he disagree with her decision? why didn't he cried and hugged her and tell her no. He wanted to say, he needed to say no. But uncontrollably, he said it.
Her eyes looked stricken. She made that decision but it was almost as if she was expecting something else. Her eyes glossy and she glanced away, quickly wiping her face.
"Okay."
He loved those cheap dollar stars. He remembered when him and Midnight bought those and her eyes glowed while she was holding them. He bought it immediately and spent the whole day plastering them around his bedroom.
He wished they didn't glow anymore.
There were so many questions running through his head, questions he felt no one could answer. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to scream and tell her she was his. She couldn't let go of what they had.
But he knew she didn't deserve that.
Midnight Rodriguez was so much more than a possession, as much as he wanted her to stay with him. To be with him. He couldn't force himself to say those. If she wanted to be free, he would let her. He would always.
"Midnight. Take care"
Her eye slipped one tear as Grey smiled at her obsidian eyes. Always. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to hug her once last time and laugh at their jokes. Only theirs. Only them.
But he couldn't, not when she was having an internal battle he wanted to fight beside her but was not needed to.
Before he could walk out he heard her speak and had wanted to turn back. Had wanted to call her once last time and see her smile. But he continued to walk, trying to breathe.
"I'm so sorry"
"I know"
He whispered to himself instead.
He opened his eyes again and still saw the plastic stars glowing, and unintentionally let out a combination of a sob and laugh.
She always said they lasted long.
"Come back." He whispered to himself softly now, hugging the pillow she slept on once.
"I'm sorry." He wished she would answer but it was filled with silence. Always.
-
Midnight laid at her bed staring at her phone. Was this really the best decision? She couldn't control her eyes from glossing.
'Stop crying, you wanted this' she chastised herself but her chest heaved and she felt the overwhelming guilt and grief trying to eat her alive.
She did wanted this, but why did it hurt so much?
'He's just some boy! Get over it Midnight you're 17. You'll live'
She tried to repeat those words again and again but she felt clawing at the back of her mind and memories, memories she did not wanted to remember played in a monochromatic order. It hurt too much.
'Let it go.' She wanted to scream, she wish her mind knew this but all she could think about was the way his eyes dulled but still placed a smile. Just for her. It was always for her.
"Shit." She whispered clutching his old jacket he accidentally left. She wanted him back but she wanted herself more. Did that make her selfish?
She felt so guilty but couldn't bring herself to apologize to his face. She loved Grey. So much, too much. But she needed to find herself. She needed to understand what she really wanted, who she really was because if she didn't, she and Grey would end in flames they could never put out.
So like the coward she was she only said it when he turned and walked away from her.
"I'm so sorry."
She wished he turned back and give her that smile she loved so much. But he continued walking, letting herself regret and wish she never said it.
But she needed this.
Right?
She took a deep breath and looked up at her ceiling. She smiled at a sudden memory that was somehow y'all reassuring, somewhat heartbreaking.
She remembered when her and Grey went to the dollar store to buy those glow in the dark stars she used to have when she was kid.
She wanted to share parts of herself to him. Maybe he would remember her when she was gone.
The day had gone by with them laughing, prancing around and just enjoying life. She needed to enjoy life alone now.
Unaware, the both were still awake reminiscing the memories only both of them have. Only them.
-
Hey guys! Hope you liked this chapter. I HONESTLY HAD NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING HERE, and I know I promised there wouldn't be drama is this book but you know GANYAN TALAGA.
Opinions on Midnight's decision. Do u think she was mean or wrong for doing it?? I wanted to relate to those who broke up but still felt guilt.
BTW THE SONG IS
"Kung Di rin lang ikaw " by Moira and December avenue. It's a really good song that tackles a break up and incapability to move on. I really recommend it!
Most of you must be wondering why I put so many Filipino words and songs. It's because I rarely see a Filipino- English book even though tons of Filipinos work, live and even are mixed American. I wanted to give diversity and maybe change wattpad a bit OOF
HOPE YALL HAVE A GOOD DAY AND KEEP ON SMILING! Don't forget to vote, share and comment
LOVE Y'ALL
-E
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After Midnight ✔️
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